Life Stories
by sufferingfromwritersblock
Summary: This is a Darren Criss and OC story, there was no other real place to submit it that made sense so it's posted under these headings. It starts kind of dark but it does get better, I promise! sometimes he just wants to be 'normal' again...
1. Chapter 1

A/N ok so this is just a story that would not leave my mind. It's not a klaine story or even a crisscolfer but it is about Darren. He doesn't make an appearance in the first chapter but he will be there, I promise. It does start a little bit dark but things get better, I promise this too! I have a lot of this story written but I am only posting the first five chapters at the moment and want to see how this goes first. I also am not sure if I'm happy with where the story has taken me at the moment so as I progress posting chapters any feedback or ideas on how someone else might see it, would be helpful too.

Her Story

She got to the beach, the world weighing heavy on her mind, turned off the car and sat in silence for a moment. Looking out the windows to the surroundings she knew and loved. She grabbed the latch on the door, pushing her shoulder into it lightly, to nudge it open. The sound of the waves already playing in her ears, she walked through the warm sand until she got closer to the waters' edge. It was dark and quiet and the stars were just beginning to sprinkle across the sky. The beach was deserted and the sand looked as pale and smooth as it felt under her bare feet.

After looking at the waves, the water, the light patches of white foam riding the tide, losing herself in the sights and sounds of it, she wandered backed just a little to a small hill of sand and sat. She grabbed fistfuls of sand and let it slide through her fingers back to where it began on the beach. At first she was paying great attention as she did this, ciphering through it and pulling out all the small shells she could see while doing so. Over time she lost track of any new shells and simply and mindlessly continued to sift the sand. It was something for her hands to do while her mind wandered.

Every time she came to the beach, she couldn't help but be reminded of the life she had lived until now, the good times and the bad times. It seemed lately, the more she came here, the more bad times she had to recall. Life had snuck up on her and to some extent it had slipped by without her even noticing. Here she was, on the beach again, thinking of all the bad, but this was why she came to the beach at night, alone, and knowing that it would be empty. She could talk out loud, scream to the sky for answers if she wanted to, cry a moat into the beach sand in front of her, and no one else would see, hear, or know. It was her time, her place in the world, in her moment of weakness.

Tonight felt like a new weakness washed through her. It wasn't just a sadness that she could cry away. It wasn't a sense of doubt even, that had always been there. It was deeper and bigger than any pain, sadness, doubt, or rejection she had ever felt. It was a resolution. It was her inner being telling her that it, and therefore she, was done fighting. She could reason with herself that it wasn't necessary, she could cry a river into the sand, she could scream at the sky until the moon became the sun, but it wasn't going to change the feeling that tickled at her mind and coiled its way into her body. She was just…done.

She did do all those things, over the course of the next few hours. She reasoned with herself that nothing would be gained by giving up the fight, it didn't work. In the end she came to the conclusion that there would be gains, in the lives of others around her. This made it worth it. No one else would have to deal with it, with her, anymore. Then she cried, she cried harder than she ever had in her life, her guts twisting with each sob that ripped through her body. She yelled hatred for herself, for the world, for her life, at a sky that now felt cold and forbidding to her. She cleansed her body and her mind by getting out every fear, every doubt, worry and anger she felt. It exhausted her but she felt better too. She didn't feel good, but she felt better. She felt she confronted all of the demons inside of her and even though she felt she was succumbing to them, she felt like her actions and words told them she was choosing to, by her own design. She was weak and broken but she accepted it.

She smiled, somewhere between contented and happy, up at the sky. She stood up slowly but showing more confidence in her own decision than she had in what felt like years. For the first time in a long time she felt a sense of purpose and urgency for what she needed to do. With narrowed, firm set eyes, she looked again to the water and it seemed more appealing now than it had before. She began walking through the soft white sand, still warm under her feet. She walked with determination and what would have appeared to anyone else to have been such concentration to her task, she wouldn't have known if the rest of the world had fallen away. Before she even realized it, she was in the water, up to her knees. The feel of the cold waves lapping up her legs woke her from her trance like state. As warm a night as it was, as warm as the sand had been, she would never have guessed that the water would have felt this cold. It momentarily shook her thoughts as she shuttered from the coldness of it. No, she came here for a purpose and she was going to do what she needed to do.


	2. Chapter 2

His Story

He turned off his phone, tired of all the noise it made nonstop. He felt like he was drowning in a sea of people and faces and things he could not control. So this is what it feels like to be 'somebody' he thought. What did that even mean anyway? Be somebody? Of course he was somebody, everybody was somebody! Why couldn't he just manage to be alone and live in his own world for a day, an hour even? He was losing a grip on the things he wanted most out of his life and it was because it was all bigger than he had ever thought it could possibly be.

He grabbed his keys and his guitar and got in the car and took off. Where he was going he wasn't sure just yet. It was late so he could go and be alone, somewhere. There would be no camera crews, no groupies, and no paparazzi following him around just waiting for him to screw up doing something. All he wanted in that moment was to be alone, to have his guitar, and to play and sing and remember where all this started, and why. He felt like if he did that maybe he could get back the joy it had brought him to think about it before it all blew up in his face. So he got in his car and started driving, listening to the radio at first until it started playing a song he had sung on tv and he didn't want to hear it anymore. He reached over, muttering and shut it off. The silence was better right now anyway.

He felt like he had been driving forever and could not think of a single place where he could go and be alone, so he just kept driving thinking at least in his car he was safe. Eventually that got old too so he pulled over in the next logical place he could think of. Who would be at the beach at this hour of the night? He wasn't even sure if it was considered legal to be there now but that just meant the likelihood of running into someone was even less and that idea was more comforting than worrying about getting a fine or some other silly nonsense for being there.

He parked his car a little off the main beach entrance knowing there was a path close by that many kids had made to get to the water's edge faster over the years. He hoped this might at least give him a little saving grace from being caught there by anyone. He parked the car, turned it off, grabbed his guitar, slung it over his shoulder, and locked up. He found the little path and started heading to the water, breathing in the salt air made his head feel a little clearer already. However, even with that being the case, he didn't necessarily like the thoughts that were running through his 'clearer' mind.

As he sat down with his feet just touching the waves as they broke shore, he pulled his guitar around his back and began to play softly. No song in particular, just strumming and listening to the reverberations of the guitar against the sound of the waves hitting shore. The water was cold, but it barely pulled him out of his thoughts. Unconsciously he pulled his feet out so they weren't getting as much of the cold water on them while he looked up into the sky and just let his mind float with notes coming off his guitar.

All he could think about was his own life, what it used to be, what it had become. He pictured himself as a child putting on silly little plays for his family. In school, practicing and preparing for every role he could get his hands on. He thought about sitting in his bedroom as a teenager singing into the camera on his computer and posting the videos online dreaming that someone would notice one day, and like them. He thought about the day he left home travelling so far away to go to school just because of their theater arts department, and all the friends he had met there and the life they started. The productions they did and put online for friends to watch all over the country and how many people went crazy for them. That was really the start of all this he thought as he continued to play. He loved those crazy people he had met back then and wished like hell he had more time for them now, he needed them but never had time to be with them because of all of the other things he had going on in his life.

"I asked for this, I wanted this!" he whispered into the waves, shaking his head. Then, "I can't handle this" which brought all the bad things back to his mind. He thought about all the simple things he could no longer do because people thought he was 'somebody'. He couldn't just hang out any more, he couldn't randomly go see a movie because he was bored on any given day. He couldn't do anything just to do it, he had become a man of the people and the people demanded of him always. He had learned that he had to put a Hollywood jacket on awhile ago but the longer he was there, the more songs he sang, the more screen time he got, the more movie deals he made, the longer and more he had to wear their jacket. It was itchy, and confining, and wasn't him and he was growing to hate it more and more by the day. He felt like he was stuck in a glass cage and just needed to be let out but there was no door. He thought about all of it, the articles in magazines, the pictures online, he laughed a little thinking about how hard it was to even get on social media sites anymore, and swore out loud that if one more person told him that he needed to marry Chris Colfer he would never go on twitter or tumblr again. The stories were cute yes, but that's all they were, he played a character, it wasn't his real life. He almost began to wonder what 'real life' was at this point because he felt like it had been so long since he witnessed or experienced it.

He looked down from the sky, to his fingers gracing the strings of the guitar, and then out into the water. He let himself wonder aloud, since he was alone after all, what it would feel like to just walk out into those beautiful soft waves, lay down, and fall asleep. To feel a peace wash over himself with the waves and not have to worry about all of these things, all of these people, all of these star 'requirements' for the rest of, well forever. When the thought whispered past his lips, out loud for the first time though, he realized he has had to have had these thoughts before for them to run so clearly and smoothly off his tongue. It stopped the movement of his fingers and the sounds of his guitar. He pulled the strap from around his neck and sat the guitar on the sand next to him. Had he really just said that out loud? Did he really think that was what he wanted? He looked around quickly, making sure he was alone. If anyone had heard him the media would have a heyday with 'poor little overworked under-appreciated, newly psychotic talking to himself about suicide' Darren Criss. For a second he thought he had seen movement out of the corner of his eye, like something in the water. He turned his head, and tried to focus his eyes better in the almost darkness but didn't see anything. He searched the water, the area he thought he saw something moving for just a moment more and, as his eyes focused better, he began to see something, no, someone, out in the water. He thought he had been alone this whole time. What was someone else doing out here, and why were they walking into the ocean so late and so alone? At least whoever it was, was far enough away that they would never have been able to hear what he was just muttering to himself. He had to know who it was though, and why they were there. He slowly stood up, grabbing the neck of the guitar and carrying it with him, wondering if there was someone truly there or if he was losing his mind now too. He kept his eye on that same spot in the water while he walked slowly and carefully over to where the 'someone' was. "Hello?" he almost whispered, as if he were afraid saying it out loud would make him look as crazy as he felt, because he was pretty sure to this point that he was seeing things.


	3. Chapter 3

They meet

Did she really just hear someone say something to her? There was no way, there was no one else here. She had been here for a few hours now and the beach was entirely empty the whole time and she would have seen headlights if anyone else had pulled in. She ignored what she thought she had heard, and continued to stand in the water, adjusting to the temperature for no real reason. Did it really matter how cold it was? Either way, it was going to swallow her whole whether it was cold or not. The coldness of it might actually make it happen quicker she thought to herself but still she stood there trying to get her body adjusted to it. She was going to give in and do what her mind and body told her she needed to do but she was going to do it on her own time.

"Hey, what are you doing out there?"

She knew for a fact she heard it this time, and slowly and carefully turned around in the water to face the shore again. Why the hell was this guy standing here and how the hell did he get here? Maybe he was just a figment of her imagination, trying to postpone the inevitable. What should she do? She didn't want to stand here having a conversation with an invisible man, looking completely crazy but she couldn't ignore the fact that he seemed pretty real.

"Wh..what do you want?' she stammered a little afraid of what the response may be, if there was one at all.

"Come here for a second" he shouted into the water, he knew something just didn't feel right about this situation and he wanted her out of the water so he could really talk to her.

"Ummm, I'm just a little bit busy right now, and I don't really know you so I think I am going to just stay right here where I am, but ummm thanks for the concern, you can be on your way now!" she hollered back to the shore in hopes that he would give up and walk away.

It appeared, she would not be so lucky. She watched as he sat his guitar on the beach and began to take his shoes and socks off, and as he started trekking down the beach and into the water. He didn't stop until he was standing right next to her.

"What are you so busy with?" he asked, looking concerned and a little scared at the same time.

"I'm just umm, taking care of something I should have done awhile ago" she said quietly not looking him in the eye, turning her head completely away, back into the water, almost longingly.

"Well look, I am having a horrible night and to be quite honest I kind of need someone to talk to, do you think you could humor me for at least a few minutes and come out of this freezing water with me and talk to me?" he asked cautiously, slowly.

She looked at him, in his eyes, they seemed as troubled as hers felt, and if nothing else maybe she could help someone else avoid the hurt she was feeling so they didn't end up having to resort to doing what it was that she was about to do.

"Umm I guess, but I only have a few minutes, it's really late and the sun will be up in just a few hours and what I have to do, has to be done by the light of the moon, so I can't help you for long."

"It's a deal" he semi-smiled at her as he took her arm and walked her back up to the sand, to sit a distance from the water, where he seemed to feel safer with her, where she seemed to feel more worried than ever.


	4. Chapter 4

The talk

They sat in the sand in silence for what felt like an awkwardly long amount of time. How did either start the conversation he wanted to have, when she was clearly only humoring him for a reason neither could quite determine? They both looked anywhere but at each other, her keeping her focus primarily set to the water and the waves, he on the sky above. She almost wondered if he was counting stars or wishing like hell that he hadn't decided to pull her out of the water. Finally, somebody had to say something.

"So we've been sitting here for awhile, is there something you wanted to say to me or…?" she let the question trail off, not knowing where to go with it anyway.

"Yeah, umm, well, I'm Darren, first let's get that out of the way. I don't know if you know who I am or not but" but what? Where should he even go with that? But if you do please don't tell people I'm scared and sad and sitting on a beach with a stranger about to cry? But I am 'somebody' and having all of my hopes and dreams piled in my lap has got me ready to consider killing myself? Of course he wasn't going to say any of that. Thankfully, he didn't have to, she opened her mouth.

"Criss right? You're Darren freakin' Criss? Of course you are, because why wouldn't Darren Criss be here to be the knight in shining armor when my life is going to hell? You have got to be kidding me!" she looked up at the sky like she was asking God if he thought he was funny and shaking her head.

"Umm, yeah, guilty as charged, I'm Darren Criss" he said softly, "so, what's your name?"

"I'm Elizabeth, well Liz, all my life everyone has just called me Liz" she returned.

"Hi Liz" he smiled at her a little as she finally looked at his face, and he back to hers.

"What did you want me for?" she asked looking around, suddenly feeling uncomfortable again. She could not believe, of all people to be walking on this beach at this moment, when she needed more than ever to be alone, it was him. Why? What purpose did it serve any God to just throw him in front of her in a moment when she could almost care less who it was that was there? She had something to do and needed to get it done tonight.

"Well, I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours, seem fair?" he questioned, "but you have to start."

"I really do not have time for this, I have a long and tedious story and I am sure that you have better things to do right now than listen to me telling you the sob story that is my life. Why don't you go get in your fancy car and drive off to some Hollywood party and be the stud that everyone says you are, and just leave me alone? I am nobody that you need to be concerned with anyway!" she shot back at him, a little more angry than she had anticipated sounding. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him, she had actually been a fan for awhile. The irony of him showing up right now, when she least needed him to be around was not lost on her. She didn't need him wasting his time on a lost cause. She felt weak and she felt cold and she felt like he was exposing her, and she didn't like it. No one had ever cared what she had to say or think, why should HE? Why NOW?

"I meant no offense, I just, I, I'm sorry" he whispered. The conviction and sadness in his voice, she heard it crack as he apologized to her, making her feel like even less a person.

"I didn't mean to sound so rude, I'm sorry, I just don't understand why you're here or why you felt the need to talk to me of all people."

She looked back at his face again, the tears on his cheek reflecting from the light of the moon. How could she have said those things, she knew just from being a fan, that Darren wasn't the Hollywood show boy that they tried to make him be. He had a heart and feelings which he wore on his sleeve most of the time.

"I really am sorry, I didn't mean those things. I love you, I mean, I love your work, to be honest some of your songs have gotten me through some really awful times in my life. There just comes a point, when even the most heartfelt and honest and meaningful song begins to lose its meaning and doesn't fix you like it used to, and that's where I am now, there is no fixing this, fixing me, it's just not worth trying anymore" she broke down by the end of her words, tears free falling from her eyes, she thought she had already gotten rid of all of them, apparently she was wrong.

He shook his head and put his head down, his hand going straight to his eyes, trying cover or hide the tears that were falling but it wasn't working. She knew he felt awful, the sadness seeped out of him just like she knew it must be with her too.

"You first" she whispered softly, reaching over tentatively to pull his hand off of his eyes. "and umm, the beach was made for tears, that's why it is full of salt water, don't try to hide them here or from me, because I know I can't hide mine from you" there was an almost smile on her face, trying to make him feel better. She didn't like him feeling the way she did, she didn't wish it on anyone.

"I feel like this is going to sound incredibly selfish, and I don't want to make you mad, I just, ok, well you said it first, so first I have to agree. There comes a point when the songs just do not help, when you feel that the meaning is gone. That moment can happen for the singer as much as, if not more than, for the fan, and that is where I am. I feel like the best of me is gone, I have done everything I wanted to do and I loved it for awhile, I did. But no one really knows or gets what it is that comes with all that, unless they have been there." He started. He looked over at her hoping she didn't look pissed that he was whining about being the poor little rich and famous kid that everyone loved. She wasn't.

"I have actually thought about that, it would really suck, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes" is all she returned. She got it, she could tell he was really hurting and that whatever it was, he needed to get it off his chest and she was going to at least respect him enough, and listen long enough, so that he felt better and could return to a life that she never would see again.

"So, I'm just there. I had all these songs and all this music pouring out of me and it just felt right, it felt like me. I could sing what I wanted, say what I wanted, go where I wanted. Then suddenly everybody knew me, everybody loved me, and now it just feels like they don't get me, they don't want me, they just want a piece of me, to say they know me or have a connection to me, like I am a property up for grabs in this fucked up game and everyone is trying to win. I don't want to be someone's damn prize. I am a person, and I want to feel like it again. I want to be able to breathe, to walk, go places, talk to my friends, hang out, I want to be able to shout 'fuck' when I stub my toe and not have it plastered in some magazine or hear a report on my inability to be a positive teen role model on the news the next night. I listen to my old songs and I just, I remember how they used to make me feel, the emotion that brought those songs out of me, and I can't get it back, they don't feel the same anymore and I don't even remember the last time I was able to sit and write new music, not for a lack of trying, but because it just isn't there. Do you have any idea how that feels to a fucking musician? It's like, it's, it's like if you took a baby away from his mother I imagine, it hurts that bad to feel like your talent, the one thing that everyone loved you for, is just gone!" by now the tears were pouring down his cheeks and he didn't even care anymore, he was all but pleading with his eyes boring into hers, for help. When she looked full into his eyes, she couldn't even breathe.

"I'm sorry" was all she could stammer. She got up on her knees and wrapped her arms around him, just hugging him and holding on to him while he sobbed. He felt like such an ass, he knew what she was here for but he couldn't stop himself from taking advantage of the situation, of having someone who was so nonbiased and free of judgment, who was willing to sit and just listen, who said it was okay for him to cry and who understood, though she had never been there, what he must be feeling like at this moment. He cried into her shoulder, letting her rock him back and forth slowly, for a long time, just being. Not escaping his pain and his hardship but just really feeling like being able to speak its existence freed him from it over time. He felt better. And then he felt foolish. How could his life be so awful if something as simple as sitting on the beach talking to someone about it and crying it out made it this much better already? Had he really been on the verge, actually thinking about ending it all when this was all it took to get a little peace back in his mind? He felt like a fool and he would not tell that he was out here because inevitably he thought he might end up sinking to the ocean floor by his own accord. He would leave that one locked away inside himself for awhile he thought. He started to move slightly, so she pulled back, releasing the hold she had on him. He sat back, looked at her for a minute with red puffy eyes and began to wipe at them with the back of his hands. She just looked at him, kept his eye contact, and asked if he felt better.

"Yeah, actually I do a little" he nodded and kind of smiled a little at her, feeling like he was talking to an old friend he had known for years rather than some stranger he randomly met on a beach. Thinking about the reality of how he met her, he got worried all over again.

"Oh my God, I did not come and talk to you so that you could fix me or help me, not really. I need to know why you were out there, what you were going to do."

"I would like to tell you because you have been sweet and opened up to me like I asked, and I told you that if you went first, I would tell you, but it's even later now and you don't need my stresses added to yours." She smiled gently and stood up slowly and started to walk away, the bottom half of her dress clinging to her legs where the cold water had soaked it.

"Hey! You can't just do that, you told me if I told you that you would tell me!" he hollered across the sand, but she kept walking. He ran after her and grabbed her arm, pulling her back up into the sand further away than before, almost knocking her down, not out of anger but out of fear for her.

"I am not letting you go back out there, you have to talk to me. You let me talk to you and I feel so much better, you let me sob on your shoulder for fuck sake and I don't even know you, let me know you! After you talk to me, you can do whatever you want, hell, if it's too late, I will personally bring you back here tomorrow so you can do whatever the hell it is you think you need to do!" he was pleading with her, needing to hear her story, to know her.

She looked at the sand once again, she could not look him in the face, why did he care so much? She didn't know how to react to that, she wasn't used to it. Slowly, thinking well ahead of her words, she began to recount her life to this man. She told him about getting raped at a party when she snuck out for the first time ever. And how when she was six months pregnant and just realizing she truly was, that she knew she had to tell her parents. She told him how they kicked her out of the house and told her to take her piece of shit car with her because they didn't have a child who would ever need it anyway. She never told them she was carrying a rapists child, they assumed she was just a slut, sleeping around, they never even asked who the father was. She told him about the job she got at a gas station that would let her keep her car in their garage so she could sleep in a little bit of safety at night as long as she would work a late night shift. She even told him about when she was eight months pregnant and the gas station got robbed, by her rapist.

"He walked in and I froze. I knew it was him and I knew he recognized me, what was I supposed to do?" she was cracking, the strain in her voice, the fear on her face as if she was seeing it fresh in her mind. He had apparently approached the counter, put his hand out to touch her belly, she pulled away, and he asked if it were his baby. When she slowly and in fearing for her life, told him it wasn't, he jumped the counter and beat her within an inch of her life calling her everything from a slut to a bitch and anything in between that dripped off his venom dipped tongue. Darren could not believe what he was hearing. He was afraid for her, he was saddened for her, and he knew there was really nothing he could do. It seemed, the flood gates had opened and she was willing, no more like, needed, to tell him everything. She had lost the baby while laying in a heap on the floor behind the counter of the gas station, unconscious. The next day when her boss came in and found her there just regaining consciousness, he fired her for not having called the police immediately, telling her that it had to have been an inside job because anyone else in their right mind would have called the police immediately. So now, at that point she had no place to go, no place to stay, no money for food or clothes or anything. She had lost her family, her baby, her job, but mostly her own sense of self worth at this point.

"Wow" slipped out of Darren's mouth, he had no idea what else to say. What could he say? Nothing he said could fix that kind of damage. He just stared as she continued talking. To him it seemed she was talking to the water, the sand, the sky, the air, to anything there but him. She didn't want to look at him, she was embarrassed, she was ashamed, she was hated by her worst enemy, herself.

"Yeah, and that's the start of my tale" she whispered, "that was all when I was around sixteen years old, I am twenty three now and things haven't improved by much since." Then she looked at him again, for the first time since she really began talking and he could see the hatred in her eyes, the fear, the hurt, she had been abandoned by everyone who had been anything to her, and broken and abused by anyone else along the way. This time he was the one who felt the need to hold her, he didn't even know most of her story yet, and he didn't know if she would be willing to tell him anymore or if he could mentally or emotionally take hearing anymore. He got as close to her as he could, reached out to her and she instinctively pulled away, as if she were afraid he was going to hit her, or worse. That stung him. Never in his life would he ever imagine treating anyone like that. He rested his hand on her shoulder for just a moment letting her get used to his contact without rushing away from it. He hoped to get across to her that he meant no harm and never would. Then, he didn't really try to hug her, he kind of scooped her up out of the sand, and he held her. She lay in his lap like a baby feeling both childish and embarrassed. After a moment, the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders subsided and he was able to pull her in. He cradled her, resting her head against his shoulder, and just let her lay there and cry. She had done this for him and he knew she needed it much more than he ever could have thought of needing it. He began to hum softly as her head was buried into his neck and he could feel the sobs slowly easing. He didn't know if it would help her or not but for now, he needed it. It felt good to have a tune in his head again and it was soft and it was relaxing and he thought if nothing else they both needed that just then, so he continued to hum as he rocked her softly.


	5. Chapter 5

The Moon Becomes the Sun

Apparently, they had talked longer than he thought, or else she just slept longer than he thought. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder while he hummed to her and he was not about to wake her up. If he had, he was afraid she would still be ready to do what she wanted, and he knew he could not sit by and let that happen. So instead, he continued to rock and hum to her and let her sleep as long as she would. However, the problem was, that the moon was now giving way to the light of the sun and he knew he had to be leaving soon or else someone would be there, and all hell would break loose if Darren Criss was found sitting on the beach so early in the morning with such a worn and scared looking stranger in his arms. He didn't want to wake her at all but he didn't know what else to do. He certainly wasn't going to just lay her on the beach and escape, leaving her there to deal with her own vices.

He stopped rocking, which felt good on his poor back, and lightly pulled her blonde hair back out of her face to reveal her sleeping features. She looked almost at peace, calm had settled over her in her sleep and he thought it suited her well. He was carefully moving around, trying to wake her but not wanting to startle her at the same time. She started to squirm a little, so it was working. Finally, she opened her eyes, straight into his.

"Good morning sunshine" he whispered with a smile, "I hope you slept well."

"Oh my God!" was all she could spit out as she all but leapt out of his arms into a mound of sand next to him. "Are you kidding me? This is for real? Or am I still asleep?" she looked around as if trying to ascertain from her surroundings if she was legitimately awake or not.

"No, you are awake, it's okay, you fell asleep crying last night, well, this morning at some point, I don't even know what time it is now." Darren answered hoping she was going to be okay with the fact that he had let her sleep and that it was now morning so she could not do what she wanted.

"I cannot even begin to believe this is real, I thought I had come to the beach, did what I wanted to do, and that this was just a hallucination, or at the very least it was some type of dream." She kept blinking her eyes, looking around, trying to gather her senses and make this all seem like a reality.

"No, I'm here, we talked a lot last night, I told you about me and you let me cry on your shoulder, and you told me some things about you and you fell asleep crying on my shoulder. It was real, it all happened right here. But here is the current situation. The sun is coming up, which means that soon there will be all kinds of runners and nature enthusiasts and whoever else decides they want to be on the beach with the sunrise and I cannot be here for that. I have to go."

"Oh, umm ok, well it was nice to meet you and ummm thank you, I guess, for last night, for everything." She said softly looking a little defeated again already.

"No that is NOT what I was getting at. Come with me, I am not done talking to you yet, besides, you told me last night you can't do what you wanted in the day light anyway, and I told you that I would bring you back here tonight. You can't just hang out here all day by yourself with nothing to eat or drink or do, just come with me and the deal still stands, if you want to come back tonight, I'll bring you myself" he still felt like he was pleading with her and he didn't like that feeling. He wanted her to come of her own free will but he was afraid if he didn't show enough concern then she wouldn't come at all. So, instead, he basically begged her, and threw enough reason at her, that she had no option but to go with him. So, she decided, she should, but he would definitely be bringing her back here tonight. The sun would once again fade into the moon and she would remember her life and her situation and would have no choice but to come back and be where she belonged. She knew this, but she was also willing to play his game, she thought. Not that it was a game in the sense that he was messing with her or trying to get something out of her, she wasn't sure just yet what his game was about, and that was why she wanted to keep playing. To him, as long as she was willing to continue doing or being or saying or going, that meant something to him. He didn't know what or why but it meant something, and it was something that was big for him. Something he needed to have and know. He was willing to keep going if she was, and she was willing to keep it going as long as he was. And so it continued, she would leave with him. Where would they go? She had no idea, he on the other hand, thought he had it all covered.


	6. Chapter 6

Where to now?

They started to make their way back up the beach to the parking area, where her car was. She went to it, popped the handle, and started to climb in the driver's seat, as usual. He just looked at her kind of funny at first and she had no idea why. He obviously didn't have a car here, so how were they supposed to leave if not for her car?

"Wanna ride with me?" he asked, issuing the standard puppy dog eyes he was so used to when he wanted his way. She looked around and saw no other vehicle in the immediate vicinity.

"Ummm, I suppose I could, if you had a car…" she questioned.

"Oh! Yeah! I do, I parked a little ways down the beach though, not in direct lighting, kind of comes with the territory these days." He shrugged.

"Makes sense I suppose, ok let me lock mine back up and I guess we can head to yours. Where are we going anyway?" she looked at him quizzically.

Again he shrugged and gave her a soft smile and said "I think I have that under control. Trust me?" he was only half teasing. He wanted to know, he felt like he had known her for so long and he felt so comfortable in his skin around her and he wanted to know if she felt the same way or not. She cocked her head to the side a little, as if thinking about that for a minute.

"Yeah, oddly enough, I think I do, at least enough to know you aren't going to hurt me I suppose, so that's kind of new!" she said it almost light heartedly and it did his heart good to hear it. Not just because she trusted him, because that in itself was huge, but for the fact that she was at ease, and loosening up around him, even joking a little. He liked that. He needed that, because he knew she needed that.

She got what she needed out of her car, locked it back up, and started walking behind him, following him to where ever his car may be.

"Just at the end of this path up here" he turned back to make sure she was still close.

"Ok, cool. You still haven't told me where we are going though" she let trail off at the end in hopes he would pick up her semi-questioning tone.

"I told you, I have it under control and you said you trust me, sooo just trust me, okay?" he looked back and smiled at her, just to make sure she knew he was playing with her a little. She smiled a little bit and shook her head. Was she really doing this? Was she going to just randomly get into a strangers car and just go where he wanted her to? He was Darren Criss, it's not as though she didn't entirely know who he was, she'd heard of him of course and they did talk for a long time last night. He looked so sad she thought to herself. Of course she was going to trust him, he was Darren freakin' Criss for one and for two he let her fall asleep in his arms, holding her like a child and crying like a baby. If she could trust him enough to do that in front of him, then she was going to trust her guts that it was going to be okay to get in a car with him too.

Before she knew it, the path had ended and opened up into a small parking area, more surrounded by trees and such and not quite as visible from the beach or from the highway. No wonder he chose to park here, she thought looking around. She would remember this spot for next time she came, well, tonight, she supposed. She looked up to see him standing in front of her, not really staring but just looking at her, a concerned look in his eye.

"You okay?" he questioned.

"Oh, yeah, was just thinking, sorry." She smiled a little at the concern, and at how his thick triangular eyebrows danced and moved when he spoke.

"Okay good, here let me get the door unlocked for you" he said as he clicked his key fob and signaled the beep/click noise that let them know they could get in now. He opened the car door for her and she climbed in. Her feet had to nestle into a bit of a mess, food packaging, cd cases, and clothes. She was a little surprised, but not really. Within a few seconds he was climbing into the driver's seat and looking over at her apologetically as she picked up a hoodie and tossed it into the backseat so that she wouldn't step on it.

"It's okay" she giggled as she did so. "My car is usually the same way." The look of relief on his face was endearing she thought. He, on the other hand, began to wonder why her opinion meant so much, why did he feel the need to make such an impression on someone he never knew before last night. Not that she wasn't a cool person and not that he didn't want to get to know more about her, but it felt odd to him to feel like this, unraveled, a desire to impress, and with more than just his voice or acting ability. He genuinely just wanted her to like him. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't realized he had started the car and actually backed out of the parking area and was starting down the highway.

"Okay, so I am officially trapped now, where are we going?" she asked, pulling him out of his haze of thought. He just looked over at her and smiled and turned on the radio.

"How about if we just don't worry about it until we get there?" he looked briefly at her and then back at the highway as he drove. She sat back, smiled, and turned her head to look out the window. This guy was pretty cool she thought for a minute, but was not going to let herself be dug into a hole that she couldn't get out of either. She liked him but not enough to forget the real goal at hand. He promised he would bring her back to the beach tonight and by god she was going to make sure that he did. She snuck a quick peek over at him when she thought he wasn't paying attention. He was tapping at the steering wheel with his hands while singing away to whatever song it was that was playing on the radio, she wasn't sure what it was, something she had never heard. He turned to glance at her too quickly and caught her eyes in his. Instead of turning away, which was her general reaction to such uncomfortability, she gave him a small smile.

"Do you like this song?" was what he gave her in return.

"It sounds alright, I've never heard it before."

"This is Freelance Whales" he said as if that should explain everything.

"Oh! You're brothers band, right?" she nodded her head a little in time with the music. "I've heard you talk about them a lot, but never had a chance to check them out."

"They are amazing! I wish I was half as cool as my brother!" he said continuing to tap on the steering wheel. She looked at him and thought, wow, he really believes that he's not, that's craziness! While she was considering how it was that someone as big as he, did not know how amazing he was, he was pulling over the car. There was nothing here but a fruit stand.

"What are we doing?" she asked. She thought maybe he was getting tired of how she kept looking at him and that maybe she was making him uncomfortable or something, so he was just going to tell her it was the end of the line and she needed to get out. If she was going to leave him, to go her own way, whatever, she wanted it to be her decision not his, not because she upset him or something. He noticed and was trying to analyze the look of fear and sadness that landed on her face so quickly.

"Do you not like fruit?" he asked. She was taken aback, certainly not prepared for such an odd question to be asked right now.

"Wha…what?" she started laughing at how stupid it sounded. Here she was worried that she was going to be walking back to the beach to spend her last day alone and hot and dry and hungry and he's asking her about fruit?

"Are you laughing at me?" he chuckled back, the laughter was a little contagious. He didn't know why she was laughing but he knew he liked to hear it and wanted to keep her doing it.

"Umm yes, I am laughing at you and also yes I like fruit" she blurted sort of randomly as she shook her head. She decided it was going to take just a little bit of time to figure this guy out, he was definitely of a different sort.

"Let's go get breakfast then" he threw over his shoulder as he climbed out of the car. She followed suit and walked around the car to meet him by the stands. They each picked out a couple of different things. She didn't realize how hungry she had been until they were there and she was staring at all of the fresh fruits and vegetables in front of her. When was the last time she had eaten? She couldn't quite remember but she knew it had been a good couple of days at least. He paid for the items they wanted and returned to the car, heading off once again.

"So this is your big secret plan? Stealing me away from the beach to go buy fruit with you?" she quirked an eye brow at him as he drove.

"Damn! You've caught on to my evil scheming!" he looked truly worried for a moment as he slammed his hand on the steering wheel. Now both of her eye brows were raised. He laughed at her look and shrugged it off.

"No, I just didn't want to tell you where we were going and have you think I was some kind of a freak or just another dude who was trying to take advantage of you or something." He said more softly and with that concerned tone dripping off the last few words.

"Wait, what does that mean? Where the hell do you plan on taking me?" her heart skipped a beat and she started to actually worry a little, different options playing through her mind. When he didn't respond right away, she got even more concerned, and lost herself in her own world of worry for a few minutes. Before she knew it she felt the car slowing and snapped back into reality to see what was going on.

"This is where we are going" he said, turning into a parking lot and pointing at the large beautiful structure.

"Are you serious? You've brought me to a hotel? I don't want you to think I'm not grateful for the time we spent on the beach last night, or for talking this morning, for breakfast, for any of this, and I think you are cool as hell I really do, I mean hell, your Darren Criss, you are amazing and your hot and I know a whole lot of women, hell even men, who would kill to be in this position right now but…" she finally realized she was rattling on in fear when she caught his eye contact and saw the smile on his face. He was almost laughing at her.

"What's so funny?" she asked, a little agitated now. How could he, after the things she told him, think that she was that type of person? Did he really think that just because of who he was, she was just going to go to some hotel room with him and do whatever he expected of her? He had another thing coming if that were the case.

"It's not like that, THIS is why I was afraid to tell you where we were going. I figured you would think that I was being some kind of celeb pervert or something, that I was going to want something from you and just expect to get it because of who I am" by now he had stopped laughing and was very serious when he addressed her about it. "It's not even like that, not even a little bit, this is just kind of home for me, for right now anyway, for a few days while I clear my head and find myself again. You helped me start that process last night and so I wanted you to be here, to help me, so I can help you too. Besides, I can't just be out in public, it is all kinds of daylight now and I am lucky that this little get away for me wasn't leaked and there aren't a million cameras trained on me as we speak. I am not trying to be a bad person, I am not wanting or expecting anything from you, not like that, I just want to keep talking." He looked at her, so earnestly, so real, almost hurt for her to think he thought of her that way. Of course, this made her feel terrible for having considered it for even a moment.

"Okay" was all she said, it was simple enough, responding to a simple request. She nodded her head at him, unlocked her door, and climbed out of the car. He followed her lead this time, climbing out his side, grabbing their breakfast, and locking up his car.

"Let's go" he said, grabbing her hand and leading her inside.

"Yep, here we gooooo" she said almost under her breathe. She wasn't sure what she was expecting but she didn't know if she was ready for whatever it might be.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N So here is another installment, and this is where I start asking for a few reviews, I hate doing this but I have gotten a few alerts for this story and knowing a few people are reading it is awesome but some input on what people think about what has happened thus far and perhaps some ideas of what people are thinking or expecting of what may be to come would be helpful. I honestly have another 19 chapters written but have decided to revamp it some, so within the next couple of chapters going up I will be making some major changes to what I have already written, not that they will impact what is already posted, the story will still flow smoothly from where I leave off to what I change, but some input would really help me feel better about what I have posted thus far. I feel like because this isn't Klaine or because it wasn't even about Darren for the first chapter, a lot of people are blowing it off, but I also feel like it's a good story and I want and will continue to tell it as long as there are people who want to listen, or read as the case may be. So thanks for the alerts and happy reading **

The Hotel

From the second they walked through the front door, him still holding her hand, she felt awkward and uncomfortable. The only other people out and about were actual employees at the hotel and a few guests who appeared to be checking out. She felt like anyone who was out was staring at her, wondering what she was doing, or just eying her up and down, realizing she did not belong in a place like this. She had found herself gawking a little, at the beauty of the hotel, the ornate décor, the size itself, the whole thing was rather intimidating. She forced herself to shut her mouth and tightened her grip on his hand a little. He sensed she felt uncomfortable and looked at her.

"Everything ok?" he asked as they reached the elevator. "We just gotta get up the elevator and stop on the top floor, shouldn't be any interruptions between here and there" he sensed she wasn't comfortable around anyone else, which made him feel kind of good, because she hadn't shown this real fear reaction to him at any point.

She nodded her head and tried to act as calm and relaxed as she could, even though she didn't feel it at all. She was a bundle of nerves inside. Wired up by where she was, what was going on, who she was with, and how she felt about the people around her and feeling that they were all glaring at her. Once they were inside the elevator and she no longer had anyone else around, she prayed the doors wouldn't open again until they had reached the top floor, she let out a little sigh. She almost didn't know if she should speak, it was so big and so beautiful and suddenly so silent now that they were in the elevator. She felt like the ride wouldn't end, like they were just going to keep rising in this elevator forever. Just as she thought it couldn't last any longer, she was right, the elevator stopped with a ding, and the doors slid open.

"After you" Darren said as he issued his hand before her, guiding her through the elevator doors into a short hallway with one door at the end. She started walking forward slowly, waiting for him to come forward and take the lead. He didn't until she reached the door and stood there. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a key card and opened the door.

"Go ahead and go in, this is kind of home sweet home at the moment. You'll have to excuse the mess, I tend to ask the maids not to touch my room. I never know who I can trust and I'd rather not take the chance most of the time." There he was feeling like he was almost apologizing for his actions again, seeking her approval, and still had no reason as to why he wanted it so badly. They walked in the room and she expected disaster after what he had said but it really wasn't that bad, with the exception of a few articles of clothing scattered here and there. Then she realized how big the place was, she was only in the first room, she had yet to see the bedroom, kitchen, or bathroom and assumed those were probably worse.

"Oh my god, this is just your hotel room? Are you kidding me? This is bigger than any place I have lived since I left my parent's house." She hadn't really meant to sound so awestruck by a hotel room but she couldn't help herself. He didn't look at her like she was stupid so she supposed he didn't mind her naivety. She decided she was going to look around. She walked into the kitchen, which was relatively untouched with the exception of a little garbage, food containers mostly, that hadn't made their way to the garbage can. She went from there into the bathroom which was HUGE. She couldn't remember ever seeing a bathroom this big, the tub alone felt like it was more of a swimming pool than a simple bathtub. She decided to bite her tongue this time so she didn't sound like a complete idiot, but she really could have screamed when she saw it. She peeked into the bedroom and then popped her head back out, she wasn't there to be a snoop, she had no intention of breaking whatever trust it was he had in her, so she made her way back to the sitting area she had originally entered.

"Nice digs ya got here" she tried to sound all nonchalant now but couldn't help the smile that spread on her face. "This place is insane! Would it be okay if maybe I swam a lap or two in your bathtub at some point?"

"Umm yeah, definitely, that's cool. I'm sure I have something comfortable you can put on when you're done if you want."

"Right on" she nodded her head, "later though if that's alright."

It was his turn to nod, it made him feel a little better to know that she was making plans for the future, even if it was just a few hours into the future.

He went into the kitchen, taking the fruit with him, rinsed what needed rinsed, grabbed a couple plates and forks and hollered for her to join him. She went into the kitchen and found him sitting at a table cutting his apple into pieces while he munched on some of the grapes he had gotten. She sat down at the chair across from him and grabbed her strawberries. They both just sat for a while and ate. It wasn't an entirely uncomfortable silence but both felt like something should be said, neither knowing exactly what it was, so instead they just continued to munch on the fruit on their plates. After a while she couldn't take it anymore.

"So, umm, thank you, again, really. You did not have to do anything you did. You didn't have to talk to me on the beach or let me cry to you, or buy me food, or bring me back here, but umm, I'm glad you did. I really needed this, to just escape for a minute" she spoke very softly and was staring holes in the table because she was too nervous to look up at him. Then she felt a hand on her chin, and her face was being pulled up. She struggled against it a little bit at first but then gave in and looked up at him. His eyes were looking directly into hers and she felt like he was looking at her heart. His hand left her chin and she found it again on her cheek, he was wiping away a tear she didn't realize had fallen.

"Stop thanking me okay? I did nothing more for you than you did for me. I don't think you even realize how much you did for me last night. You act as though I saved you from something but when it comes down to it, you saved me. You saved me from doing something that I realized was entirely not worth it. I have been through nothing compared to what you have, and you are still here, you are still fighting." He spoke from his heart, you could see it in his eyes, he was not playing with her, he was not saying anything to simply make her feel better, he really meant what he was saying to her, she could feel it in her own soul. She didn't know how to take it, how to react. Never has she ever been worth anything to anyone, let alone being a savior for anyone.

Once again, it seemed, they were crying into each other's shoulders. Though it had only been hours since they had met, it sort of seemed natural, or right, for them to find themselves here, back in a hug, crying with and for the other and themselves. They had stood up and moved around the table so that they could fully embrace as they had on the beach. Slowly he pulled away and she lifted her head. Both wiped tears from their own eyes. He took her hand and pulled her into the front room, plopping himself down on the couch, and her next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder for a minute and then looked up at him.

"How does this feel so familiar? It feels so normal. Is that weird? Is it just me?" she almost stuttered after she realized she had actually spoken the words out loud.

"It just does, I have been questioning it in my head too, but wasn't brave enough to say it aloud just yet" he chuckled as he said it.

"Guess I just have more balls than you" she giggled back, which made him flat out laugh out loud at her. He couldn't believe she had just said that. She didn't appear to be someone who would just come up with something like that and let it fly out of her mouth. For a second, she was nervous that she had said it, she didn't mean to have said that out loud either but for some reason she was just comfortable and felt like she could say or do or be anything, so she did. Once he started laughing at her, she smiled back and laughed a little herself.

"You look exhausted" she said to him after the laughter wore off.

"That's kind of part of the territory too these days" he said. "I don't get much sleep ever. I am always busy doing something for Glee, or a private performance, writing for my production company, I did the Broadway thing for a little while…" it trailed off, he felt like an ass, like he was giving her a rundown of his life and explaining it away.

"You still need to sleep; you won't be doing that stuff for long if you keep up with the pace you're going. And don't think that I didn't already know you did all that stuff" she laughed.

"Oh shit, speaking of which, I really should call Joey about the new production, he's in Chicago with the rest of the company as we speak getting ready for the new show. I still have to send them a few tracks." He said as he fished his phone out of his pocket. She reached over and grabbed it out of his hand before he could even flip the display page to his phonebook.

"Hey, what the hell?" he laughed and tried to grab it back.

"Nope, you are going to make a deal with me" she stated matter of factly as she put the phone on the opposite arm of the couch out of his immediate reach. She could stop him if he thought he was brave enough to try to snatch it back up from where it sat.

"And what might that be?" he asked, one eye brow raised.

"I will return your phone to you and you can call anyone you want AFTER you take a nap" she smiled at him. She felt like she was talking to a child almost but she also felt like he needed her to do that, otherwise he wouldn't sleep, which was kind of the reason he was here to begin with.

"I have to take a nap first?" he asked, "seriously?"

"Yup" was her only response. She stood up, grabbed the phone and put it in her purse and then walked back and grabbed him by the wrists. "Let's go big guy!" she giggled as she pulled him up. He fought her just like a child for a moment and then gave in.

"I am only conceding to this because I really want my phone back just so you are aware."

"Whatever you need to say to make yourself feel better big man!" she shot back, looking over her shoulder at him as she pulled him to the bedroom. Once they were at the door, she released his arms and moved so that he was in front of her instead of behind. She started pushing him into the room. "Now go, sleep!"

"You aren't going to sleep too?" he asked, almost sad or lost at the thought that she wasn't going to be with him.

"I'll lay on the couch or something if I get any more tired. Remember I did get at least a little sleep last night, on you!"

He was not going to let her out of it that easily. He walked back to her, grabbing her by the wrist this time and dragging her into his room. She wasn't sure she wanted to be in there. Not because she was afraid something was going to happen or that he was going to try something with her or anything like that. Just because it was his bedroom, this was his place in the world right now, just as the beach was hers last night. She didn't want to feel like she was invading his space or his territory, like she had felt when he approached her at the beach last night. However, since she was not invading, he was inviting, she let herself be pulled into the room with only just a little bit of struggle. She had to at least put up the image that she didn't want to check out his room, or that she didn't want to crawl into that huge pillow soft looking bed.

"The only way I am going to nap is if you get in here too and we cuddle. It's kind of my thing. I have to cuddle otherwise I just can't sleep, so please stay, you have to, otherwise I will be the non-sleeping, zombie of a star that keels over before my thirtieth birthday, do you really want that on your conscious?" he looked at her with all the most pitiful looks that he could muster.

"Oh my god, you really are a big baby!" she laughed, "but fine, whatever, let me in! If we must cuddle, you sir, have to be the big spoon!" she said as she climbed into the bed from the foot of it, landing in the middle and facing away from him toward the French doors that led to the patio outside. He crawled back up into the bed behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. He buried his head in her hair and relaxed. She felt awkward in a way but only because it didn't feel awkward, if that made any sense to anyone. She was waiting to feel nervous or scared to be laying there with him, but she didn't. She was just comfortable. It didn't take long before his breathing became slower and the rhythmic feel of his chest heaving into and off of her back lulled her into sleep too.

They slept for hours, neither realizing just how tired they themselves, or the other, really was. She wiggled once in a while, coming out of sleep just long enough to remember where she was and that it wasn't a dream. Darren didn't budge, not an inch. Even as she would realize where she was and start moving, she would stop herself when she remembered that he was wrapped around her, and she didn't want to wake him. It would take mere seconds for her to cuddle back into the heat of his body and drift back to sleep. With blackout curtains closed tight on the French doors, neither had a clue that outside the sun was already starting its hike down the other side of the sky and that darkness would fall soon. All that either knew was that in the darkness and comfort of the room they were in, neither cared what was happening outside of it.


	8. Chapter 8

The Other Side of the Sun

**A/N here's another installment, I hope anyone reading is enjoying. I am getting a few more alerts and such so that's very cool but I could really use some reviews and I hate asking for them but I really would like some input on what people are thinking about this thus far. I'll stop asking for now and leave you all to continue you reading….enjoy!**

Eventually she woke up completely, ready to stay awake and even Darren's peaceful breathing behind her could not lull her back into dream land. Yet, she was not about to move, not at first. She laid there thinking about the past twenty four hours of her life and what the hell she was going to do next. She needed to get up, to get away from the serenity this room presented so she could think clearly about what her life really was, but she didn't know how to do without disturbing the cuddly teddy bear who was now half draped over her. He obviously wasn't kidding when he said he liked to cuddle! She turned herself slowly so that she was on her back and from there began to untangle herself from him. She slid her legs out from under him and proceeded to carefully lift his dead arm off of her waist and shoved a pillow in the spot where she had been. She slid over carefully in the bed, trying to not make it move too much. Success, she thought as she got to the edge of the bed, then went to stand. She got half way up and felt herself being pulled back down.

"What the hell?" she half whispered.

"I don't want to be awake yet" he whined at her, trying to drag her back over to where he was in the bed. "and nice try with the pillow though" he chuckled a little still very groggy, pulling her back to a laying position and hitting her softly with the pillow she had used to try to escape.

"Hey!" she laughed, "how am I supposed to go back to sleep if I am being beaten with inanimate objects?" she said between soft strikes to her face. She grabbed the pillow that was on the other side of the bed and started a defensive attack against Darren. "Take that!" she laughed, pulling herself back into a sitting position, then to her knees, and full on abusing him with her pillow. He was defeated.

"Okay, okay, okay, I give up! Uncle! You win! Geesh!" he laughed loud and hard, no longer sounding groggy at all. "I didn't really want to sleep anymore anyway, I didn't want to take a nap at all, remember?"

"Yeah okay, that's why you passed out before I did, and slept longer than I did, and then continued to pout when you finally did wake up! I do suppose I owe you your phone now though." She smiled, trying to worm her way back off the bed to go get her purse and return his cell phone to him.

"Oh my God! I'm starving!" came fast and loud of Darren's mouth as he sat up to watch her leave the room. "Didn't we just eat? What time is it?"

She hurried out the door, went and grabbed her purse and brought it back to the bedroom plunking herself on the bed next to him, she pulled out his phone and handed it to him.

"I didn't look at the clock, figured you could just check when I gave you your phone" she said as she looked at him.

"Woah! What time did we lay down, do you have any idea?" he looked at her with quirked eyebrows.

"I don't know it was kinda earlyish, like probably somewhere around nine or ten I would guess, why? What is it now like one?" she didn't understand why he was so surprised that he took a three hour nap when he hadn't taken the time to sleep a full night in God only knows when.

He looked over at her and smiled, giggled a little as he looked back at the time on his phone. "It's ummm 7 o'clock Liz, we slept for more than a few hours."

"7 o'clock? Are you fucking kidding me? Oh my God!" she was surprised herself and it almost scared her a little to think that, with him, she was able to lose herself for that long and not worry about it. That was definitely something new and she didn't know if it sat well or not. The idea that an entire day had pretty much past her by without her being intensely stressed and in mental and emotional pain was a definite upside however, and she couldn't help but laugh. "So much for not wanting or needing a nap!" she snapped at him with a grin.

"I'm sorry, I never would have thought I would sleep that long though" he said, concerned that it bothered her, and that she was going to want to get ready to head back to the beach already. They barely had time together here, just some breakfast and a little talking, more tears and hugs, and then unconsciousness. This was not okay with him, he was not prepared for her to want to go anywhere. He was going to try to put it off, to keep her busy, to say or do whatever he needed to in order to keep her mind busy and not thinking of that awful part of her life that was threatening to cut short the remainder of it. He would start with food, he wasn't kidding when he had said he was starving.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, looking over at her. "I could order a pizza or something."

She looked mildly distracted but not for long. As soon as he spoke, her attention was given to him.

"Yeah, sure that sounds good, do you mind if I go steal the bath tub for a while now though?" she felt a little bad asking because it wasn't her place, after all.

"YES! The bath, go take a bath, I'll bring you some clothes." He said it all a little too enthusiastically. In his mind, this was a good way to make sure she stayed a little while longer.

"Jesus, do I smell bad or something?" she giggled a little but appeared to show a bit of self-consciousness after his reaction also.

"Oh God no, I didn't mean that, not like that, at all" he felt so stupid now!

She laughed at his reaction, "I know I don't, I just wanted to see how you were going to react, and it was pretty much what I was expecting, so thanks for not disappointing sir Criss" she laughed as she stood up. "I'm just going to leave you here with your mouth hanging open, feeling like an ass, while I go relax in your pool, err, I mean tub! When you are able to move your mouth again, do me a favor and go ahead and order that pizza, k?" she giggled, turned and left the room.

He just sat there shaking his head and in shock. Apparently sleep brought out a new side of her. Though in his head he knew it had to do with a lot more than the fact that she had gotten some sleep. He realized and knew that she was definitely as comfortable with him as he was with her and that made him feel great. He hoped it would continue.

She went into the bathroom, shut the door, started the bath and looked around a little. She wasn't trying to be nosey, she felt like he wouldn't be upset if she knew what he had in his medicine cabinets, she wasn't trying to invade his privacy, she was trying to make herself feel as comfortable with him as he was with her and well hell, if she had been at any other friends house, she would be doing the same thing, just because it was what you did, if you needed something you looked, you didn't ask to be shown everything. So she looked, mostly it was hair product, man who knew it took that much work and time and product for his hair to look untouched! She laughed at the amounts that were there. Among other things she also found the typical 'stuff', band aids, over the counter sinus meds and headache meds, razors, and shaving cream, which she was tempted to throw away, she always like it when she saw pictures of Darren when he was more scruffy as opposed to the clean cut Blaine Anderson he played on television. She felt like it was more him as opposed to what anyone else wanted him to be.

After she did her looking around, she went back to the tub which was nearly full, and felt the water, it was perfect. She stripped out of her clothes and threw them in a plastic bag that had been laying on the floor empty. She got in the tub and let the water and bubbles she had added, surround her. It felt amazing. She could not remember the last time she had been able to take a bath at all, let alone a bubble bath in a tub that was big enough that she could swim in if she wanted to. She fully intended to stay in there as long as she could and as long as Darren was okay with it. She sunk her head under the water, returning to the surface with a head topped with a pile of bubbles, giggling as if she were a child.

While she was in the bathroom he was going to make a few calls. First and foremost he was going to order food, he was starving and he thought she must have been too. He picked up his phone, called the concierge for a list of quality pizza places in the area, and went about calling to place an order. When he found the place he wanted, dialed the number, started to place an order, he realized he had no idea what she wanted or liked on her pizza. He got up and walked toward the bathroom and called her name but she didn't respond. He instantly began to worry, he knocked softly, still without response. He was prepared to knock the door down because he was so afraid thinking about her doing something to herself right now. He locked his hand around the door and decided he would turn, as much as a locked door would allow, while he threw his shoulder into it. Placing the phone between his shoulder and his ear, he braced himself on the door, and shoved as he wrenched on the knob. The knob turned more freely than he had expected, as she hadn't locked it all, but it was too late to slow the force of his own body into the door. The door flung open and he fell through it, almost falling on his face. She sat up with a start and a gasp.

"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed, as he finally was able to stop himself, the look on his face was pretty priceless, fear, confusion, embarrassment, all at the same time. She could also hear someone on the phone asking what was going on and complaining about prank calls.

"Hold on a second please, no this is not a prank call, just give me a second please" he sounded agitated as he spoke into the phone. She felt bad, maybe she shouldn't have that grin on her face right now, he didn't really seem happy, but she couldn't help it. He had just all but given her a heart attack for one and for two the look on his face as he flew into the room was priceless, she couldn't help but smile.

"Why are you laughing at me? I busted in here because I thought you..well…I thought you might have decided the tub was just as good as…nevermind! Why didn't you answer the door when I called your name or knocked on the door? You scared the hell out of me" he rambled quickly, breathless.

"Oh my god, you thought I came in here and killed myself in your bathtub. Oh God, Darren I am so sorry! I was relaxing, I found your Ipod in here and was listening to it, I never heard you say my name or knock. I am so sorry!" the smile was now gone from her face and she felt awful for having smiled or laughed at him, and because she had scared him so badly. "Why were you calling me anyway?" she asked softly, she really did just feel bad now.

"OH! Oh yeah, ummm, I just have a pizza place on the phone and well they think it's just a prank call now so I don't know if they're even still on the line. Anyway, I just went to order and realized I had no idea what you might want on your pizza. So? What do you want on your pizza?" he asked, looking kind of sheepish and guilty, she knew he felt silly for what had just happened. The anger he felt wasn't really anger, he was just embarrassed and that was the first way it had shown itself. Now, he looked like a child who just realized he did something foolish in front of his friends. But it was cute and she kind of liked that childishness about him.

"I'm pretty standard, anything is good with me, except for anchovies, I cannot go there!" she laughed.

"Okay then" was all he said and he walked out of the door as he began to speak into the phone, reassuring the man on the other end that this was not a prank and he really did want to place an order. That was the last she heard for a while. She slumped back into the tub, feeling really bad now. She honestly had not even considered using his bathtub to do something like that. It hadn't even crossed her mind in the least, which in itself seemed like a big concept to her, as she had thought of many different ways to get the deed done. She felt like she needed to get out and go talk to him, to apologize, to make him feel better about his embarrassment but more so for all the worrying he was doing about her.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N So I got a few new alerts and such for this story and I'm thankful for those and also thank you so much for the reviews, finally! I have decided to definitely go with the revamp of this story and this chapter is where that revamping begins so hopefully it goes as well as I see it going in my mind! **

Please Don't Be Afraid for Me

After she climbed out of the tub she remembered he hadn't yet brought her any clothes to put on. She dried off, wrapped a towel around her body, and started looking around for anything that might be in the bathroom that she could slip into. In a little closet she found a bathrobe and decided that would have to do for now. She removed the towel, wrapped up in the big, thick, fuzzy, soft robe and wrapped her hair up into the towel. She didn't really want to walk out there in this but she didn't really have an option, the only other things she could put on were her dirty clothes and that just felt gross, she didn't want to do that. So she took her bag of clothes, sat them in the corner of the bathroom, opened the door, and headed out to see if she could find Darren. She really felt the need to talk to him now.

She went to the bedroom first, that was the last place they were, but it was empty._ He must be in the sitting room then_ she thought as she made her way out there and found an empty room. _To the kitchen then_, and it was empty too. Now she felt awful. _Where did he go?_ She went back into the bedroom to see if his phone and things were still in there, and she didn't see anything. She heard his voice though all of a sudden, softly, somewhere close. She looked around the room and then realized that the curtains on the French doors were a little askew from what they had been. She walked over quietly to peek out and saw him sitting on the patio, his head in his hands, he was talking softly, once in a while, to his self it appeared. She didn't know if she should go out or if she should leave him alone for a while. _Was he crying?_ It looked like it a little bit but she couldn't tell for sure. She started backing away slowly, quietly, she was going to leave him alone until he felt better or until he approached her, whichever came first.

As she backed up, the curtains moved, letting the light of the room hit Darren's eyes outside in the darkening evening. He looked up at the movement and light and saw her standing there. He gave her a small smile and motioned for her to come out. She froze for a minute at the look in his eye, the sadness seemed to be back, and it was her fault. She felt awful. She gave him a short quick half fake smile back and walked through the doors, sitting down on chair next to him. He never stopped looking at her as she moved. She looked over at him as she sat, reached over, put a hand on his, pulling them away from his face. For the first time, she was the one initiating any real personal contact with him, and that didn't go unnoticed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you so bad, and if it makes you feel better at all, I never would have considered doing something like that here, to you, I just wouldn't do that…to you" she almost whispered, afraid that adding volume to her thoughts might make her break down. He simply shook his head, returning his hands to his face. He was crying, and trying to not let her see it, again.

"I just, when you didn't answer when I called your name, and, and then I knocked and still got nothing…I panicked. All I could see was you on the beach last night, your eyes, the hurt you felt, what you were going to do, and I just, I couldn't help but go there, and I had to make sure you were okay." He stammered through the thoughts he was having. A couple of simple tears rolled off his cheeks silently. She needed to make him feel okay, to fix him, again. She did it last night, she could do it again she thought, except that tonight it was truly her fault and it made her feel horrible. She stood up, walked directly in front of him and slowly sat down on her knees. She looked up into his face, taking his hands in hers and putting them in his lap. He looked at her helplessly, so sad, and she looked directly into his eyes. Why did doing that make her feel so weak inside? She looked away for just a moment and then back to him, giving him a weak little smile.

"Hey, I need you to not worry about me okay. Please? I am a big girl and I have been handling myself for years. It's sweet and I thank you for your concern but honestly I cannot handle feeling like my plans or my life is a concern to someone else. I just don't know how to deal with that and I'm not used to that" she spoke slowly and deliberately. "Please don't think that I don't appreciate everything and even the concern, I do, it's sweet and obviously it was very unexpected. I just, I feel awful, seeing how upset I've made you and I can't handle how it makes you feel to think of me doing something to myself. Why does it even make you feel like that? Why do you care so much?" she asked not even really expecting an answer. He just stared at her for a few moments and wondered how she could even ask such a question.

"Are you serious? How can I NOT worry about you? Since I have started talking to you, your only goal in life is to end it! Yet when you were at what was your worst, your lowest point, you stopped, you didn't hurt yourself because I needed you. You talked to me, you held me, you cried with me. I have been doing everything in my power since then to make sure that I can do the same for you. All I could think since we woke up is how it's going to get dark soon and that you are going to ask me to take you to the beach and I can't do it, I know I promised you I would, but I can't do it. I will NOT take you back there to hurt yourself. And then you were in the tub and you didn't hear me and it's all I could think or see and you have me losing my mind!" he was shaking, crying harder now, his voice cracking as he spoke, scared and overwhelmed with emotions, trying to explain to her what she meant so suddenly when he hardly knew himself how to make sense of anything since he met her. By now she was crying too, his emotions just overwhelmed her as much as they did him. Here was this amazing person, so concerned for her wellbeing, for her life, for who she was. It was a deeply intense and new feeling.

"Darren, you are amazing and I thank you for everything you have done, are doing, but you promised me…" she trailed off, not wanting to finish the train of thought because he should just know. She put her head down not trusting herself to look in his eyes because she didn't want to hurt him anymore than she clearly already had, but a deal was a deal and he HAD to take her back. "You promised" she whispered again shaking her head, tears stinging her eyes. She wasn't sure if it was because she knew she didn't want to go, if it was because Darren was obviously hurting so bad for her and that felt new and strange and a bit uncomfortable, or if it was because she felt conflicted now. She had no reason to not continue with the plan as it stood and he had to understand that. It was nice having him there and to feel someone care for and listen to her for a time but she knew it couldn't continue and inevitably it wouldn't so she had to continue on the track she was on before he showed up.

"How can you seriously make me do this? I don't want to, I don't think you want…" he tried arguing with her.

"You have no idea what I want" she shot back. "You promised you would and you will, you have to, Darren please just…just take me back, now. Can we go now? I need to go" she started almost panicking, pacing. She disappeared back into the bathroom and threw her clothes from the night before on and returned. "We have to go, NOW" she said as sternly as she could hoping it would make him realize how serious she really was. She needed this, for her own sanity at the moment, for him to just believe her and go, she couldn't concentrate on his pain as much as she wanted to, as much as she wanted to hug him and make him okay, she couldn't. She had to look out for number one again, no one else was going to.

"Okay, okay, let's go" he nodded, walking back in and over to grab his keys. He clearly couldn't fight her. As much as he wanted to, it wasn't his place and as much as he would like to have believed that he knew her and wanted to help, it was ultimately her decision and he had promised he would do this. He had just hoped that somehow along the way he could come up with some way to stop her but he didn't feel that it seemed very likely.

They made their way out and into the elevators, downstairs, through the lobby, and to the car in silence. It was awkward and uncomfortable this time but he didn't know what to say, what to do, and she didn't feel like she could say anything or that there were any words for this moment. So they continued. He drove down that highway, down passed the fruit stand they had stopped at, and down toward the beach yet again. His breathe hitched as they pulled in the driveway, it already felt like so long ago since they were here and it had only been the length of a day. He pulled his car up next to where hers was parked and turned it off. She looked over at him and smiled a weak smile, defeated, just like she had looked when he had found her here. He tried to smile back but how could he? He didn't want to leave her here to do what she was going to do. He pulled his door open as if to get out and she looked at him in confusion.

"What are you doing?" she looked a little frightened in that moment. He pulled himself out of the car and stood in front of the door waiting for her to get out too. Finally she did, she hadn't wanted this. She didn't want him to get out. _Did he think he was going to stop her?_ _Or was he going to just stay and watch her do it? _Neither of those options would work. He needed to just get back in his car and leave. She shut the door behind her and looked at him over the top of the car.

"What are you doing?" she asked again. He looked at her, he didn't know what to say at this point. So he gave up on words and walked over to her, took her by the hand, and started walking toward the beach. She didn't know what to say either so silently she let herself be led. They got to the shore and she turned to him. Trying to will him to understand with the look in her eyes that she needed to be alone, that this was the right thing to do.

"You have to let me go" she whispered just above the sound of the waves, pulling her hand from his. He gave a small nod, let her go easily, and took a step back. She walked into the water just a little and turned back to look at him. He saw the resolve in her eyes, the fate she had decided upon, showing there. She saw the look of contempt for the things that had happened to her, the hurt he felt for her, and the urge to protect flashing back through his eyes at her. She couldn't face it, she couldn't go back to those eyes, to that face, to the arms she knew would be around her the second she stepped back. She couldn't let herself be sucked into it. In the end he would leave too, this was never supposed to happen in the first place. If she had just stuck to her guns in the first place, this would already be over with and he never would have known she had existed at all. That was how it needed to be. She looked back out at the expanse of water in front of her and made her way further into it.

He saw the contemplation play across her face. She had been weighing her options. This meant that she was considering NOT doing this, she didn't necessarily WANT to do this. If he could think of what to say or what to do he could still stop her, maybe. He had done it once he could do it again right? He had been looking down in thought from the moment she had turned her back to him for the final time. He snapped his head up suddenly to see where she was, how far she was, what he would have to do to save her. She was at least waist deep now and not looking back. He held his breath and watched, hoping she would change her mind on her own. Was he really going to have to stand here and watch this play out in front of him like a bad movie? He couldn't, but what could he do?

"STOP!" he yelled as loudly and harshly as he could. She stopped in her tracks for just a minute but started walking again.

"PLEASE, just stop" he was crying now, he couldn't stand this. "PLEASE" he screamed, begged, again. He started heading toward the water just like last time and was going in after her when she turned, she looked at him, direct eye to eye contact, complete blankness was all he saw. And as if being played in slow motion, she let her body slip under the water.


	10. Chapter 10

Don't Go!

"PLEASE, just stop" he was crying now, he couldn't stand this. "PLEASE" he screamed, begged, again. He started heading toward the water just like last time and was going in after her when she turned, she looked at him, direct eye to eye contact, complete blankness was all he saw. And as if being played in slow motion, she let her body slip under the water.

The water felt just as cold as it had the night before but instead of noticing or fighting against it, she let it envelop her body, her mind, numb her thoughts as quickly as they entered her mind. She didn't have time to think anymore. The sound of the water rushing around her, waves lapping over and around her body, swallowing her whole, washed away the sound of Darren's voice screaming. She was thankful for that. She could not handle the desperate sound of him anymore. It wasn't fair he was even pressuring her about this, this was her destiny and she knew it, he knew it. Whether she wanted to or not, this was what she had to do_. Wait..what? Even if I don't want to do this? Of course I want to do this, he is not changing my mind! _

This whole thing felt like it was taking longer than it was supposed to. How long was it supposed to take to drown, to die? How was she supposed to know? She couldn't feel the cold anymore, she supposed that was progress, and she was trying to avoid the feeling of the salt stinging at her eyes, and the fact that instinctively her body kept trying to reject the water that wanted to fill her lungs. Instead she opened her mouth, shut off her mind, and tried to speed the process up.

He saw her slip under and he stopped breathing. It was as if the waves were filling his lungs as much as hers. He froze for a moment, trying to gather his senses, his courage. He was not going to let her do this. He couldn't let her do this, not now. He felt like he couldn't reach her fast enough, and at this point he couldn't, or he wouldn't. She continued floating, face down, and it felt like days trying to get to her. He was trying to argue with himself, determining whether or not he should let her decide her own fate or if he should do what he knew was right.

"Fuck this!" he said out loud and threw his body through the water rushing to get her. He reached her and pulled her face out. It looked too late already, her eyes were closed, lips blue, and the sight of her thrust him into overdrive. His adrenaline soared now and he hoisted her body into his arms as best he could and started trudging toward the shore shaking with her weight and his fear. It was harder than he thought, not that he was thinking about what he was doing. He called her name trying to get some kind of reaction from her as he progressed to the shore. He swore the trip back to the sand seemed to be taking so much more time than it had taken to get out to where they had been in the water.

They were within a few steps of being on dry land again, where he could help her, when he tripped with an oncoming wave and fell into the water. Cursing himself and the water, he tried desperately to scoop up her lifeless body once again and get her to shore. He didn't have the benefit of the water to lighten the load of picking her up this time and he was struggling. He didn't have time for this. He stood, grabbed her by the arm and drug her, as unpleasant as it may have seemed, into the nearby sand.

Once he had her there he realized he didn't know what exactly to do. He was so concentrated on getting her out of the water that he hadn't taken the time to consider what he was supposed to do, how he was supposed to actually save her. He took a quick inventory of the situation. He found thinking as analytically as possible was the only way he was keeping himself from having a complete breakdown and panic attack himself. He felt for a pulse and couldn't find one. He had to call someone, he had to call 911. _Shit! Where is my phone?_ He ran his hands up and down his pockets, feeling for it. Nothing. _Shit!_ He scanned the beach quickly hoping he had dropped it somewhere along the way when he realized he hadn't.

"God damnit!" he yelled out loud when he finally realized he had left it in his car. He looked down at Liz's still form for a quick second and realized he had no choice but to go get it. He took off up the beach back toward his car, running as quickly as his dripping clothes and the sand would allow. He felt like it was taking forever, as he stared at his car the whole length of time it took to get to it, as if he could will it to get closer.

As soon as he got to the parking lot, he bolted harder to the car, wrenched the door open and plowed over the seat to grab his phone from the center console. After yanking himself out of the car, slamming the door, and staring back down the beach he began to run back toward Liz. Without thinking of anything else he pressed the keys to get emergency response.

"911, what is your emergency?" the indifferent sounding operator asked.

"Help! You have to get here, Liz, she, she was in the water, she can't breathe, she doesn't look good, I need help, I don't know wh.." he started crying as he was hollering into the phone.

"Sir, I need you to calm down, I can't understand you and I need you to tell me the exact problem, what type of help you need, and where you are, please sir, try to stay calm and talk to me."

Darren drew a deep breath and tried to clear his mind, tried to just think. "My friend, she was drowning, I pulled her out but she hasn't woke up, she looks bad, I need an ambulance at Monroe Beach, in the sand by the water, off the south parking lot, please, I don't know what else to tell you, hurry up!" he pleaded, trying to stay calm as he ran back to Liz's lifeless looking body.

"Ok sir, I have just dispatched an ambulance to your location, but I need you to do a few things for me okay? Can you do that?" she asked in a very calm and soothing voice. It was almost too soothing to him, he felt like she was condescending him in a way.

"Yeah, yeah, what do you need, what can I do?" he asked, his voice a little higher pitched and more strained than normal. He really was trying to maintain some calm, if nothing else for the fact that he needed to help Liz.

"Okay, are you right with the girl, sir?" he nodded in return then mumbled a quick yes when he realized she wouldn't see him.

"Alright, I need you to see if she's breathing sir, can you check and see if you can feel or hear her breathing at all?" she asked him.

"Umm, yeah, yeah just give me a sec" he set got down on his knees next to Liz and put a hand under her nose to see if he could feel anything. He didn't so he put his ear close to her mouth to see if he could hear it.

"I don't feel ANYTHING, I don't hear ANYTHING!" he almost screamed into the phone at that point. That scared him more than anything. It was bad enough when he thought it but he felt like he had proof now that she was gone and it scared the hell out of him.

"Ok sir, it's okay, the ambulance is almost there, do you know how to do CPR?" she continued calmly.

"N-n-no" he stammered out, feeling awful because he should know, why didn't he know how to save her.

"Okay, I am going to need you to open her mouth and make sure there's nothing in there blocking her airway at all, put your finger in her mouth if you have to, sweep it around to make sure there is nothing there." Darren again nodded his reaction as he did what she told him to.

"There's nothing there, what do I now?" he was trying to rush her now_. And where the hell is the ambulance, shouldn't they be here by now? _He was trying to remain calm for Liz's sake, for his own sanity.

"Okay good, you're doing good, just keep calm for me, tilt her head back a little and plug her nose okay?" I need you to put your lips over hers and blow into her mouth. Go ahead and put the phone down, if I am correct I hear the ambulance sirens approaching, so go ahead and do what I said and the EMT's will be there to take over in just a few minutes, okay?" she said.

Darren dropped the phone and did as he was told. He felt like he should have known all this and should have been able to do it without calling and getting instructions. He should have also been smart enough to not bring her here again. He didn't have time to dwell on it. He tilted her head back, pinched her nose, and began to push his air into her mouth, hoping that it would work and praying that the ambulance would be there quickly.

The sirens and lights got closer and soon the ambulance was parked in the parking lot and two EMT's were approaching their spot on the beach with a stretcher and some equipment. They gave her a quick assessment, looking at each other, at Liz, at Darren, and back to each other. "this doesn't look good" Darren heard one whisper to the other. He looked at them and to Liz and knew in that moment that they were right. That it didn't look good, that she could very likely be gone forever and it was all his fault. He dropped to his knees again in the sand, shaking almost violently, tears collecting in his eyes ready to fall apart at the drop of a hat.

"What the fuck did I do?" he mumbled to the salt air. He didn't know why he brought her back, he didn't know what he was thinking, and he didn't know if she was going to be okay. He ran his hands through his hair, stood up, looked to the ambulance pulling away, and started running toward his car. He would meet them there. He got behind the wheel when he reached his car and tried his best to wipe away the tears that he didn't realize were streaming down his face as he started after the ambulance.

"She has to be okay" he murmured as he chased the shining lights down the highway.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Ok first I have to thank a friend, Austin, who has never before read or written fanfic for helping me with a lot of the new ideas in the progression of this story. Also I have to thank my daughter, Heavyn, for being my officially unofficial beta for almost everything I write. (She is HeavynStarGleek101 here, check out her stories also!) And also a quick thanks for all the favorites, alerts, and reviews for this story. I have been posting every Sunday, I may not be able to post next week, but will try hard to be able to get it out there! OH! Before I forget, I really know nothing about CPR, EMTs, medical personal, what would happen in this entire situation so if anyone does and it sounds off, this is just how I imagined it, or made it work in my world, I know nothing about the reality of it! Anyway, enjoy…**

_SHIT!_

Liz's body was limp and lifeless. She felt like she was floating, but then again, she had been. She wasn't aware enough of what was going on outside of her own body to realize she wasn't anymore. She didn't know that Darren had pulled her to the shore while she was unconscious. She didn't know that he almost had a panic attack in trying to figure out what to do to help her. She didn't know that he had pushed just enough breath into her lungs to give her that small amount of life she needed at the time. She definitely didn't know that there was an ambulance which had shown up and taken her to the hospital. She knew she felt nothing physically but knew that for some reason she was still thinking, still seeing things in her mind. She wondered if that was a part of death as it occurred. She waited to see the white light, to see if any of her family or friends who had already died would be calling to her to come with them. She didn't see any of these things. She saw black and gray and that was all. She didn't feel her body. She felt like she was living inside her own mind and that was kind of scary. She thought she heard muffled sounds, no words, no person in particular, just muffled sounds of a life that was beyond her reach and assumed that's exactly what it was.

He continued to follow the lights down the highway until he saw them turn off into the familiar building that was the local hospital. He turned off the road as soon as he approached the building and watched as the vehicle pulled into the ambulance bay. He drove past to find a parking spot and shut the car off. Taking a deep breath to try to calm himself some more, he made his way out of the vehicle and into the building. He was thinking of nothing but Liz and getting back to her side. He had to see her. He had to know she was alright. When he got inside he approached the desk at the front.

"What can I help you with sir? Do you need to be seen?" the elderly lady behind the counter asked sweetly, assessing Darren. He shook his head at her and tried to gain control of his rapid breathing so he could speak to her.

"I, umm, my friend, was just brought here by ambulance, I followed in my car, I need to see her or find out what's going on with her" he spoke rapidly, his eyes shooting around the room for any sign of a doctor, the EMT's, Liz being transferred through the hallway, anything.

"Okay sir, can you give me a name please? I'll see what we can do for you alright?" she asked calmly.

"Liz, her name is Liz" he said in return, relaxing a little at the prospect of being able to go and be with Liz soon.

"What's her last name honey?" she asked as she looked up to his face again. He thought for a moment and realized he had no idea whatsoever, she had never told him. He had never asked. He simply shook his head, realizing this could pose a problem soon.

"I, I don't know" he stuttered a little, nerves started to take over again.

"This girl is a friend of yours and you don't even know what her last name is?" she asked, beginning to look a little more incredulously at him over the rim of her glasses. He thought to himself that she didn't look quite as sweet all of a sudden. She asked him to have a seat while she went and checked into things. If the girl was alright and was awake she could have a nurse speak to her and see if she knew him or wanted him to have any information or to be with her. If she wasn't responsive or if something had occurred during the ambulance trip one way or the other, they would not be able to communicate with the girl and therefore, they wouldn't be able to communicate with him about her.

Darren shook his head, nervous, confused, scared, he hadn't even thought about the problems that could arise upon arriving here. He made his way in a haze into the waiting room and sat in a chair, put his head in his hands to block out everything else. He replayed every moment they had spent together through his mind to make for certain she had never told him her last name. He came up as blank as he had been before, she had never brought it up. He continued to wait for the receptionist to make her way out to get him.

Meanwhile, the ambulance had pulled in and rushed the girl into the building. They had found a very shallow heartbeat and had continued to help her at least hold on to that much of life until they reached the hospital. They did their job. They kept her going until they were able to get her to the hospital so that the medical staff there could do their jobs and hopefully pull her back into a stable situation.

Once inside, staff met them and relocated her into a room, off the gurney and onto a hospital bed. They got all the information that the EMT's had and began to assess the situation as it was, currently. They immediately began a stronger round of oxygen and checked her lungs for water. While there was clearly the presence of some, it wasn't as bad as it could be, as they thought it would be. They thought she would be okay, with time. The largest concern currently seemed to be pulling her out of her comatose state and to hope that there was no brain damage present from the lack of oxygen. The doctors continued to do their jobs as the EMT's filled out the reports they needed to. This is where the receptionist showed up wanting to speak to them about the 'friend' in the waiting room who wanted information.

"Hey guys, that girl you just brought in, that's Liz right?" she asked quizzically.

"Yes ma'am, I sure hope she's okay, if not for her own sake, for the sake of that guy that was with her. He was having a really hard time with whatever happened out there!" one of the technicians said and the other nodded his head.

"Well that's kind of what I wanted to know about" the receptionist returned. The two looked at her and were waiting on her to elaborate. "Did either of you guys get a name or something for him or find out the situation with him? He's in the waiting room right now, looks tore up like you said, and he wants information or to see the girl but he can't even tell me her last name" she looked between the two, hoping they would have some type of information. She really wanted to be able to talk to the guy, to give him some good news, but as it stood she couldn't technically give him anything.

"We didn't really talk to him much, dispatch said there was a drowning victim who was pulled out, hopefully in time. That's pretty much all we know. He looked so shook up down there though. I would think he has to know her for him to be that upset. I mean yeah it would be upsetting no matter who it was but he was seriously affected by what he was seeing, he has to know her. Can't find out from her yet though, she's still out of it" the EMT had gone on.

"That's not much help to me, or to him really" she said, a little sadly. "Thanks guys" she added quickly and made her way back to the desk. Once there she called the nurse on duty for Liz's wing and asked her for an update on the patient, hoping she was awake and could give her the information she needed, she wasn't. Sadly, she made her way out to the lobby to speak to Darren. She found him in a chair in the corner, head in hands, shoulders slumped. It almost appeared as though he might have been sleeping. She was deciding whether or not to bother him, if he was asleep he probably needed it, so she was going to leave him be. However, when she turned and her knee bumped the arm of another chair, she cursed under her breath and Darren shot his head up.

"Is she okay? Can I see her now?" he asked quickly, standing and walking to the lady. She gave him a look of concern and sadness and shook her head a little.

"I'm sorry sir, we aren't allowed to give information out without permission. If you had proof that you were family or something perhaps we could work with that but since you already said she is a friend of yours, and with the fact that you couldn't even provide a last name, we can't give you any information without her permission." She looked him in the eyes and it was as if she was trying to tell him something without coming out and saying it. She continued to look him in the eyes as she said, "and since we cannot get her permission at this time, we cannot give you any information." She cocked her head to the side a little as if trying to determine if he had gotten her little hint. He thought he had so he nodded gently to her and thanked her for her kindness. As she turned to walk away, she called to him again letting him know that as soon as she could seek permission from the girl, he would know. This gave him the understanding that he would know the minute Liz woke up.

For now, there was nothing else anyone would be able to tell him and nothing else he would be able to do. He curled up into a little ball in the corner chair he was on and closed his eyes. His intent was to try to get a little sleep, he needed it, his body and mind were exhausted. He wrapped his arms around himself and shook a little just now realizing he was still in his wet clothes. As if on cue, the receptionist returned with a blanket that was usually used for patients.

"It's fresh out of the heater, you look like you could use it" she said with a small smile, trying to comfort him a little. He was so disheveled and it saddened her that she couldn't even tell him that his poor friend had no idea that he was here, or that she was here right now for all that mattered.

"Thanks, I'm freezing" Darren mumbled and gave her a small broken smile in return. "It's okay if I just stay here right? I won't go in the back or anything but it's okay if I stay until, until she umm she wakes up, isn't it?" he looked up at her with pooling hazel eyes. No one in their right mind could turn him down with a face like that.

"Of course sweetheart, try to get a little sleep" she said, standing and helping him wrap up tighter into the blanket. It was almost as if she were trying to tuck him in. She smiled again, gave his shoulder a light squeeze, and turned and returned again to her desk. Darren closed his eyes and prepared to spend the night, tonight, and tomorrow, and how many ever nights it took until Liz woke up and could talk to him.

"I'm not leaving until you can tell me your damn last name!" he muttered quietly and shook his head giving a soft almost forced laugh. It didn't take him long after those mumbled words to fall into an uncomfortable sleep in the chair. He was both physically and mentally exhausted and had needed to rest more than he realized. He shifted and muttered and moaned in his sleep and popped his head up every time he thought he heard someone speaking, hoping that it was someone coming to give him word on Liz' condition, but it never was.

He slept fitfully like this all night long, until about 6 in the morning when the receptionist from earlier came to bring him a cup of coffee. She let him know she was headed home from her shift but that she had informed the person who was taking over about the whole situation and gave him a wink. He knew she must have also filled that person in on the deal they had made about him finding out as soon as Liz woke.

"Thank you so much" Darren said softly, still clearly exhausted. "For everything really, understanding, letting me sleep here, the blanket…" his voice trailed off a little but she could see by the look in his eye that he meant the words he was saying. She gave him a small concerned smile and patted his hand.

"It's my job, now drink up that coffee, it looks like you need it" she gave him one more quick smile and a wink before heading out of the main doors to head home. Darren took a sip of the hot liquid and hoped it would work wonders for him because right now it was what he needed. He glanced up at a clock and realized the time. It surprised him a bit, he didn't think he had been able to fight through the sleeping fits long enough to have spent at least that many hours asleep. _Well that's definitely something I'm used to_ he thought to his self about the few hours of sleep he'd gotten as he shed the blanket he had been wrapped in and inspected his wrinkled, half damp clothes. He decided he'd go to the desk and see if he could find out anything and if there was nothing new he would go back to the hotel and shower and change real quick and come back to let the waiting resume.

He made a pit stop by the bathroom on the way to the desk and as he washed his hands he finally gave himself the quick once over in the mirror, realized how haggard he looked and thought it might actually help him to not be recognized at the moment. That was the last thing he needed right now. He shook his head a little, shut off the light, and made his way out into the main corridor again and to the desk.

Upon hearing footsteps approaching the man behind the desk began rambling "Good morning, is there something I can do f…." and went silent the moment he looked away from his computer monitor and up to the man standing in front of him, Darren almost froze, he knew that look, this man clearly knew who he was and he felt like he was screwed.

"My friend was brought in last night" he started, trying to stay calm and trying to avoid the glazed over eyes of the man behind the desk, if he could just get him to pay attention to what he was saying and not be consumed by who he was, he would be okay. "The receptionist from last night said that she told you the umm, the situation, so I was just wondering if you could tell me anything about her, about Liz? Did she wake up or..?" he wasn't going to finish that sentence because he couldn't take hearing that things had gotten worse.

"You're Darren Criss" was the only response stuttered from the other side of the desk. Darren gave a weak smile and all he thought in that moment was_ ….Shit!_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Thanks to Heavyn (HeavynStarGleek101) for being my officially unofficial beta always and for giving me the ideas that turned into this chapter. Also, thanks for all the alerts and favorites and the like, it's awesome. Aaaaand also, sorry it was late, good thing I happened to mention I may not have been able to post this past Sunday, because clearly I couldn't. However, since you waited longer, extra long chapter. Enjoy!**

No Visitors Allowed

Darren's smile faded lightly and he was unsure how to react to this man. He nodded his head a bit, clearly there was no way to deny it once he was 'caught'. "I am" he returned. The man behind the desk turned on a thousand watt smile at that.

"What can I do for you , ummm Darren, can I call you D-Darren?" he stuttered, averting his eyes to the desk and blushing lightly. Darren relaxed a little bit, "of course, yes, call me Darren, is my dad" he smiled back at the man. "What's your name man?" he asked next.

"Glenn, I-I'm Glenn" the man smiled and stuttered back.

"Can we keep that our little secret then Glenn? I haven't really been recognized in a few days and I can't really afford to be, or want to be right now, I just really want to keep myself private and really just be there for Liz, I just really need to know what's going on with her" he almost pleaded with the man.

"Ina filled me in that situation and let me assure you sir, umm Darren, that I will do everything I can to get you any information I can and I won't say a word about you being here. However, let me also say that as much as I will try, there is NO guarantee that no one else will recognize you here or that we can protect you in that way" he stated, sounding so very official.

"No I know that, that's always my risk to take, this time it has to be worth it though, I'm not going to leave her just to protect my own ass" Darren said nodding his head to the man. "Thank you though, for being willing to help, if there's no change for now I think I am going to go back to the hotel, shower and change, stuff like that real quick and then come back, is that okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Of course, of course, that's fine, that's probably a good idea actually, give yourself a little break from being here. I will see if I can find anything out while you're gone and let you know when you come back, sound good?"

"Perfect" Darren returned with a smile, grabbing a piece of scrap paper and a pen from the little cup on the desk to write down his number. He slid it across the table to Glenn, who picked it up and looked up wide eyed at the curly haired man on the other side of the desk. "I am going to ask you once to please respect that I just gave you that, please, if there is any news, call that phone if I'm not here, and I will be back as fast as I can. Please, don't make me feel like I did wrong by giving it to you" he looked at the man seriously, pleadingly almost yet again. This man could be his lifeline to Liz and he needed the man to take that as seriously as he was. It wasn't everyday he handed his cell phone number out to someone who he had just met, clearly there were a few firsts this 'down time 'of his was representing.

"Okay so I'm going to go and I'll be back in a couple of hours tops" Darren smiled.

"Sounds good, can't wait" Glenn let slip excitedly, pocketing the phone number and looking around the office making sure no one else seen him doing so.

Darren smiled as he walked out the door. He needed a little fresh air. He took a deep breath of it and felt a little better. The sun was much brighter than he expected or wanted right now, he felt like it had been dark for so long that this light was killing his eyes. As soon as he made it into his car he found his sunglasses and put them on. Looking in the rearview he realized again just how bad he looked. He needed a shower, definitely needed clean clothes and he thought maybe even a little nap would be in order. This just made him laugh a little, thinking about the nap argument he had had with the Liz the day she came back to the hotel with him.

He got back to the hotel shortly and instantly began stripping out of his clothes as he made his way to the bathroom. Walking into the room he was immediately reminded of the actions previous, his fear at what he thought was Liz' attempt to commit suicide in his bathroom. If this had scared him so bad then why in the hell would he take her back there? He had made a promise, that's why, it was the only thing he felt he could do, he didn't and couldn't hold her against her will, and least he had been there to try and save her. _God, let me have been helpful enough to have saved her! Please! _He begged in his own mind to any deity that may have been listening. He shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts by climbing under the hot streams of water pouring from the shower.

He showered, shaved, put on some fresh clothes as quick as he could all the while listening for his phone to go off with a message from the E.R., so far, no luck. He sat on his couch to gather his thoughts and clear his mind a bit, wondering what step to take next. He needed a plan because she **would** pull through this and he **would** be there for her, clearly no one else was. He made a couple calls home, to his mom, his roommate, and his boss. He wanted to let them know there was a situation in case he ended up being spotted again or if Glenn wasn't as trust worthy as he was hoping for. He wanted to clear with his boss that he would be gone for a few extra days and make sure that was going to be okay, and he also wanted to get some insight from his parents who seemingly knew everything there was to know about everything and he felt they would be the most helpful.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital to which Darren was preparing to return, there was movement happening in Liz' room. Her heart rate monitor had begun to pick up, signifying a stronger heart beat and drawing attention from staff. A nurse went in to check and make sure there were no equipment failures or something wrong and to check on the girls' state. She was moving and murmuring low and mumbly. "Get away!" she yelled at the air out of nowhere, efficient enough to scare the nurse. She looked like she was trying to hug herself, wrapping up in herself and shying away from someone, something at the same time. She sounded weak and scared and kept whimpering as she repeated her first line, 'get away', over and over. The nurse made an attempt to comfort the girl, to wake her up, something, to no avail. She paged a doctor to the room which Glenn overheard and immediately texted Darren of the news.

The phone made its familiar ringtone as Darren pulled into the hospital grounds. After he finished his phone calls he had gathered his things and headed back. Just as he was parking his car went off and he immediately snatched up his phone. It was from Glenn and he took off for the door. He wasn't given much information, just that doctors and nurses were rushing to her room and that there was movement within. He bolted for the desk as soon as he was inside hoping for more information, for access, something. Glenn gave him a concerned look and gave him a nod of the head. In understanding Darren went to the entry to the E.R. rooms and Glenn hit the buzzer allowing the doors to open. Darren walked through, listening intently, and finally he heard her scream, "Get away!" and he rushed to the sound of her voice.

There were a few nurses and just one doctor inside when he got there. He walked in with confidence and with purpose to her side. He felt so bad looking down at her; he didn't know what to do. He whispered softly to her, trying to get her to wake up carefully without scaring her any more than she already was. The staff stood staring at the man they didn't know and his abruptness and clear unconcern for their rules. She was not reacting to anything they were doing at all, clearly he knew her, they had all heard about the situation and him waiting for her in the lobby overnight, maybe he could have an effect that they couldn't. He looked to them and when no one made a move to push him out, he did the only he could think of to do, he walked over to the bed, crawled in, and wrapped her up as tight as he could in his arms. She fought for a moment and then her body froze.

In her mind's eye, she was now in** his** arms. She was being held down and it was going to happen all over again and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her body went frigid and she laid there just waiting for the pain and the hurt and embarrassment that she knew would be approaching fast. If she just laid there it might go faster, be over quicker. She continued to whimper.

Darren could see the tears that were seeping out of her eyes as she clung to herself and didn't move. He was waiting for her to relax in his arms and be okay again but it wasn't happening. He didn't want to let her go but was afraid of what was going on in her mind, what she was seeing or feeling or thinking at this moment. He shook her softly and she whimpered louder, "just hurry up" escaped her lips and her body flinched back in fear of retaliation by something, someone. It made him sick to his stomach to realize what it was that was happening to her right now in her own mind. He couldn't take it. He started shaking her harder, trying to snap her back into reality but didn't know how this was playing into her dream. "Wake up, right now, just wake up" he pled loudly and directly into her ear. The doctor and nurses looked to each other and then to Darren, seemingly unknowing of what they were facing, what she was seeing. They started making their way back to the bed again and were preparing to give her a shot to put her back under to essentially save her from her own mind. "No! If you put her under again, won't it just keep her in that dream? You can't do that to her!" he was crying as he spoke, both sad and angry tears. He was not going to let them touch her to do that. Without realizing, he was holding her tighter, rocking her as he spoke first to the doctor then back to her. "Just wake up Liz, wake up!" he repeated.

She heard the words and saw them coming from her rapists lips at first, but it didn't fit. Why would he be telling her to wake up? Had he knocked her out? She hadn't felt the pain that she should have felt by now. Besides that, the voice didn't fit, he hadn't sounded like that. He had a gruff scratchy, dirty sound to his voice and that was not the voice she was hearing now, even if it was a little aggressive. She started moving a little bit, her mind floating out of the situation like it had last time. Except this time, it felt like she was floating closer to reality instead of further away from it like it had before.

"Please just wake up" he was shaking her now and this time it seemed to be working. She was moving and rolled away from him, trying to get out of his grip. She opened her eyes and stared at the man next to her in the bed. Her eyes got as big as saucers for a moment, considering where she was, what had happened. He looked at her with a horrified expression on his face. He was absolutely scared to death, shaking as he watched her come back to reality, back to life. The fear in his eyes, coupled with the clenched heart she was feeling, tore her down.

When she realized where she was and what was going on, she curled into herself. "He raped me" she cried in between sagging worn out breaths. Her whole body felt 'wrong', she hurt and her mind felt fuzzy and just everything felt wrong, she had no other way to describe herself or her feelings. Every time she closed her eyes all she could picture was that man over her, she could see his face imprinted in her mind, engrained in each breath that left her mouth. She felt him, seen him, heard his voice, it was as if he was still there. All she wanted was to get rid of that feeling but she wasn't sure she could.

Darren moved closer to her, trying to wrap her in his arms but she automatically flinched away. "Liz, what's wrong?" he all but whispered to her in response to her actions. He didn't know what she had seen or heard in that dream, that nightmare, but clearly it was still in her mind very presently. She shook her head, held him at arms distance and just looked at him. She knew him, knew his face, his voice, and knew he was good but couldn't recall exactly why. She knew she could trust him and that she did and that he wasn't the one who hurt her and he wasn't going to be one who would hurt her but she still wasn't trusting herself or the situation. All she knew was that she woke in a hospital after having been raped.

The doctor and nurses opted to remove themselves from the room, just momentarily for them to have the moment they so clearly needed. After a time, she allowed her to get a little closer and he leaned down into her, kissed the top of her head. He wanted nothing more than to fix her, to understand what she was thinking and feeling but she was not ready to open those parts of herself up. She didn't want to speak it, that would make it more real than it was by her sitting in this hospital bed.

"I want you to never have to feel like you felt when that happened to you again" he said softly, slowly, letting his words sink in.

"Thank you" she whispered as she finally held him as tightly as he was trying to hold her. "Please, please don't leave me now" she said with a scratchy voice, rough from lungs full of water, lack of use and then screaming through the nightmare. Her face was a mess of tears and fear and sadness and yet he detected an almost calmness in her demeanor now. "I can't believe you did stay, but please don't go now" she whispered again. He nodded his head, letting her know he was going nowhere.

He tried to describe to her as much as he knew, which was very little, and then pushed the call button for the doctor and nurses to make their way back in. Before explaining anything that had happened up to this point they asked questions, gave her a good once over checking all her vitals, and retreated once again. They explained nothing of the suicide attempt as she hadn't brought it up once. For all intents and purposes, in her mind, she was there because she had been raped and nothing else. There was no recall of the beach, the ambulance, or near drowning. Darren didn't quite understand but since the doctors hadn't mentioned it he didn't feel like it was his place to do so either. This was clearly something she was going to have to work through on her own, or the doctors would have to explain it, he wasn't going to.

The doctors returned long enough to let her know that her vitals were solid, which was obviously a good sign. Her body was correcting the mistakes her mind had let her make so recently and that she was going to be physically alright. As far as mentally however, they were not necessarily so sure and so also let her know that she was going to be visited by a psychiatrist soon. She looked worried by this but didn't voice any opposition.

After what seemed like hours of talking to the man he left and said her attending physician would return shortly with his decision and diagnosis. The two ate together, she ate like she hadn't eaten in days and Darren couldn't help but laugh a little and seeing him look happy was enough to ease her mind and share a small smile as well. After eating, talking, resting, and watching television together, the doctor returned.

"Liz, how are ya feeling?" he asked, smile on his face, trying to put her even more at ease.

"I feel okay, do you think I could go home soon?" she asked expectantly. Physically she felt almost fine now. Clearly there were pains, her throat hurt, her lungs ached, she wasn't sure if the headache would go away, but these were things she could live with outside of this room. They were both sincerely hoping he was going to let her do that. He looked at her chart again as if to make sure he had the information correct, nodded his head, and shut it again. This time when he looked at her, he didn't seem as relaxed as the first. She got a bit of a worried look on her face and looked to Darren.

"What is it?" Darren asked .

"Liz?" the doctor directed specifically to her, "I am going to give you the information from the psychiatrist and I have to know that you are okay with, uum, your friend here, being in the room with you, we can ask him to step out if…" he tried to finish but she was already shaking her head vehemently and holding on to Darren's hand with a death grip.

"H-h-he stays, it's okay" she said softly and the doctor just nodded and sat on the end of the bed.

"Liz, due to the situation that brought you here, we have to put you on a hold, which means you have to stay here, in the hospital, not the E.R. but at the hospital for seventy two hours. We have to make sure that you are watched and that you are going to be okay, do you understand that?" he asked slowly looking at her with what looked almost like sadness or concern in his eyes.

"You think I-I'm crazy don't you? I was raped! Don't you think you would be a little crazy if that happened to you? " she asked, fresh tears springing up in her eyes. Darren squeezed her hand and looked back to the doctor hoping for more information.

"Can I take her, can she be with me? I can watch her, I won't take her anywhere, I won't do anything, won't let her do anything, please" he almost begged.

"No sir, that's not how it works, it will be okay, it's just three days, and this is standard procedure, nothing out of the ordinary."

"Being held in a psych ward is standard procedure when a person gets raped?" she almost yelled. She had never heard of this before, why are they treating her so awkwardly? She couldn't help but wonder. She didn't know if it was worth a fight and maybe the rest would actually help her, she decided not to fight it though she was still confused by it.

"I'll be with you every second of the day" he said in return.

"No sir" the doctor said, "that's the one stipulation, no visitors allowed."

They looked at each other, fear etched in both faces. How did they grow to need each other so much so fast? It didn't matter how, just that it was, and they didn't know how they were going to deal with this now.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N ok first and foremost serious apologies for the time it has taken me to post this! Bonus news there should be this update and then the typical Sunday update as well since I have the next chapter almost complete as well. I also want to apologize for the last chapter I did post because it just did not turn out how I wanted it to be. I am happier with this one and the next. I didn't post when I was supposed to because I took a little roadtrip with my sister in law and my daughter to go see a production of the play '8' in Ferndale and it was great. If you haven't seen the original go to youtube and watch the original reading, it is worth the time! Finally, another thank you again to my officially unofficial beta Heavynstargleek101. Finally, enjoy….**

Vacation Suite

Three days, seventy two little hours, that was all. They can both handle that! Hell, had they physically known each other for that long? This was going to be okay. Darren kept telling himself these things, repeatedly, as he drove away from the hospital.

He had been given a couple of hours at the hospital to talk with, and just be with Liz before they had her room and bed ready in the proper section of the hospital. They decided to not call it the 'mental health unit' because that just made her more nervous. Jokingly Darren had referred to it as her 'vacation suite' and she decided she liked that a whole lot better. So this is what they both decided to refer to it as from there, forward.

Over the course of the next few days Darren had plenty to do to keep himself occupied. The day he left Liz at the hospital he went back to his hotel and with the help of his family and friends, worked on organizing a game plan. After the phone calls were made and he felt a bit better, thanks to hearing the familiar voices of home, he took a long hot bath. He oaked in the tub for what felt like hours while he listened to a long stretch of music on his Ipod. While he still felt worried about and for Liz, he took the time to relax himself, body and mind. He slept well that night.

With a little help from some muscle relaxers and other meds, Liz slept well too. After she was taken to her 'vacation suite' she was able to get out of the standard hospital gown, take a shower, and wear something a little more comfortable and a little less revealing. There had been a pair of hospital issued pajama pants and a plain white tee shirt on her bed. She pulled both on, ran the flimsy comb through her hair as best she could, and went to the bed. Just as she climbed in a nurse entered, giving her a rundown of how the next few days would go as well as a little paper cup with a few pills in it, with a glass of water to wash them down with. She took them without word or thought and swallowed them down. The nurse returned the glass to a bedside table and threw the small paper cup in the trash. She told Liz to get comfortable as she walked out. It didn't take long before Liz was staring at the backs of her eyelids and so deep into a sleep induced haze that he wasn't even dreaming, she just slept.

Darren didn't wake until almost ten o'clock the next morning. He stretched across the bed, unconsciously reaching for the girl he knew wouldn't be there. He frowned as he opened his eyes and come back to reality. Then the noise that had woken him to begin with, sounded again. His phone. He scrambled out of bed and across the room to the pants that he had tossed in that direction when he crashed last night. Pulling the ringing phone out of his pocket he looked quickly to the call I.D., smiling as he answered.

Liz was woken by a nurse around seven a.m. to begin her day. Continuing with the theme of this being her vacation suite, she thanked the orderly for delivering her breakfast in bed and they both shared a smile and a small giggle. She felt rested and woke up feeling okay, not perfect, but not bad either. She knew she had slept well because of the medication and secretly hoped they would give it to her again. As she finished her toast, the psychologist made his way into her room and the nervous energy started flowing through her body and mind as she looked at him.

After Darren hung up from his talk with Ryan, he felt a little better. He had a little more time then he had anticipated before he had to return to set. The new seasons production had been postponed by a week. knowing this made him feel a little better about the plans that had started to form in his mind over the last day.

He sat down and wrote a list of all the things he wanted to accomplish over the remaining days while Liz was in the hospital. He started by heading to the beach to make sure Liz' car was still there. It wasn't, it had been towed and he would have to wait to talk to her, to find out where it had been taken. He didn't know her plate number or anything. With that out of the way, at least temporarily, he set about accomplishing other tasks on the list.

Over the course of the remaining hours and days, both were busy. Darren had cleaned up his room, almost compulsively, getting supplies from the maids as needed instead of allowing them access. He had done some shopping. Enough to stock the refrigerator with real food and some staples items he knew Liz would need ('girly' shampoo, conditioner, soap, razors, shaving cream and the like) and he bought her an Ipod, which he filled with positive, energetic, 'strength' music for her. He wrapped it meticulously and at it on the coffee table. He did some more talking, planning and worrying.

Liz also worked hard over those few days. She spent time alone thinking about having been raped, about her life, and about Darren. She was trying to put the pieces of meeting him together with her minds idea of why she was in the hospital and for hours it hadn't seemed to work. She spoke with the psychologist, she shared things she thought she never could. Then finally, the second day, nearing bedtime, it hit her like a ton of brick. The beach, Darren, her purpose for having been at the beach that night. She stared blankly for what felt like hours before she hit the call the nurse approached she realized that Liz must have finally figured it out and she paged the psychologist. He joined them in the room as quickly as possible and at waiting for Liz to speak.

"I tried to kill myself" she almost whispered. More than anything, the prospect of that being her reality, scared her badly. The doctor merely nodded slowly and continued to look at her.

"Darren, he, he saved me didn't he?" she asked looking to the man she knew had the answers she wanted confirmed.

"That I the story we were told, yes" the doctor confirmed. She nodded. The whole picture seemed to play almost clearly in her head now and she felt a need to see him.

She talked more with the psychologist, ate when she was told to eat, showered, and went through the day as directed knowing the hold would be up the following evening.

That night when she went to bed they didn't offer her sleeping pills and she was afraid to sleep. She replayed the beach, meeting Darren, what led her here, over and over and eventually fell into a fitful sleep afraid of what might await her there.

Darren slept fitfully as well. He wasn't afraid to sleep, he wanted to, he tried. He knew the sooner he slept, the sooner the new day would start, and the sooner he could go to the hospital to pick up Liz. His mind had others ideas however. He could not shut off his mind long enough to let sleep seep in. he sat up, turned his Ipod on quietly and tried to let the music take over. Eventually, it worked and he slipped into a restless sleep.

The nightmare forced the screams out of her mouth around six in the morning. The nurse on duty heard her from the desk and approached her room. This wasn't uncommon in the mental health unit. The nurse slipped in the room and cautiously woke Liz enough to snap her from the dream. Her face was flushed and hair dripped with sweat. Her throat burned again from the screaming. The nurse gave her a dose of sleeping meds and a glass of water after she had calmed enough to take them and she rested herself back against her pillow until the pills kicked in and she slipped into darkness again, this time peaceful and quiet. She didn't wake again until noon, when an orderly brought her lunch tray in.

"So, you're out of here tonight aren't you?" he asked as he arranged her tray in front of her. She smiled and nodded but fear crept into her mind, just a little. What if Darren didn't come back to get her tonight? She couldn't call anyone else and she couldn't leave on her own.

"Awesome, guess you'll be saved from having yet another dinner with us!" he laughed as he walked to and out of the door.

She ate slowly while she continued to think about who she might call if Darren didn't show up. The psychologist returned after lunch to talk about the rape, the suicide attempt, the nightmares, Darren, and what should happen once she was released. They talked for a couple of hours, he wrote her a prescription for antidepressant medication, gave her a list of community mental health offices that work on sliding scales based on a persons' income that would be able to help her with counseling going forward from her hospital release. She listened intently and tried to remember everything she was told. When he was finished, the doctor asked if she had any questions.

"Just one" she said almost timidly.

"Shoot" the doctor smiled, prepared to go over anything she didn't understand one more time.

"I, ummm, I don't have my care here, and I don't really have any one to call to take me….anywhere really, so if" she stopped as she looked over to the doctor who had a knowing look on his face with the slightest hint of a smile, as if he knew a secret that he was keeping from her.

"How are you going to get home if Darren doesn't show up? Is that what you weren't going to ask?" he looked to her with a knowing grin. She simply nodded in return.

"Well, if that were a problem we would discuss it. But, it isn't. Darren has been waiting here for a few hours already. I had a nurse talk to him about the things we want to see happen from here, he talked to her about his potential plans, he's worried and he want to make sure you are okay. I'd hold on to that one if I were you missy!" the doctor told her with a grin and a nod. She smiled, calm taking over in knowing he hadn't just abandoned her here like he so easily could have.

"I think I want to" she blushed and miled back at the man.

He stood, shut her chart, and told her she could put her regular clothes on, which had been cleaned by the hospital over the last couple of days. He also told her that he would give her a little while to get ready and send Darren in. She thanked him for all the help, gathered all the papers and things together and bagged them up. She took the quickest shower she could remember ever having taken and threw the clothes on. She ran the useless comb through her hair once more and threw it away cursing when it seemed to do more damage than good in the long run. As she opened the bathroom door, she saw that the main door to her room was opening as well. Darren walked in.

"Hi" he said softly.

"Hi".


	14. Chapter 14

**What now?**

**A/N: late again, I know, I know I suck! At least it's only a couple of days late this time instead of a couple of weeks. Not a lot to say other than to ask again for a few reviews, not because it feeds my ego, because I feel like I really want to know if the interest is there to continue, if anyone wants to see more and if they do or do not like where I have gone with this story thus far….**

**Thanks again to my officially unofficial beta (Heavynstargleek101) who I am blaming for at least one of the days of lateness of this chapter. Simply because she was on my computer fangirling all day with her friends and not letting me on to post! Without further chatter, enjoy!**

"Hi" he said softly.

"Hi", she gave him a shy smile. Neither was positive what they should do or say at this point. She approached him, slowly at first, until he opened his arms to her. She finished the distance to him in two large steps and locked her body into place within his arms. Both took a deep breathe, as if it was the first either had taken since they were separated a few days ago.

"How are you?" he whispered into her hair.

"I'm okay…I…ummm…remembered" she whispered, pulling back and looking him in the eyes. He nodded, knowing full well what she was talking about.

"How about we get out of here and get some real food and we can talk?" he asked looking down at her.

"Sounds good to me" she nodded, stepped back, and grabbed her bag from the bed.

Darren took it from her hands and walked her out the door. They stopped at the desk to complete the checkout process and then outside to Darren's car. He held the door while she climbed in and shut it behind her. She laughed a little looking around it, as he made his way back to his own side.

"What's so funny?" he asked as he slid into his own seat.

"Get that bored without my delightfully insane company?" she giggled lightly.

"You're not insane" he said very seriously and sternly. Then added, "a little bored though, yes" he added with a shrug and a sure grin. The car was spotless. It was detailed inside and out, not a crumb to be found. Entirely different from the first time she had gotten into it.

They made their way very quietly to the hotel, hands knit tightly together over the center console, each other's lifeline once again. When they reached the parking lot and got out, quickly finding each other's hands again, they made their way inside and to the elevator.

"I thought we were going to go get real food?" Liz asked, confused.

"We are, I'm cooking" he grinned brightly at her.

"Why do I feel like I'm risking my life more now?" she asked, panic stricken look on her face, with a grin threatening to bust out. He smiled back and pulled her into another hug as the elevator took it's time reaching their floor.

"You'll be okay, I promise" he laughed lightly as the familiar 'ding' signaled the doors ready to open. They walked to the door; he opened it and let Liz slide in, in front of him.

"Oh my god" she breathed as she walked and looked around. "Did you do all this yourself or did you finally let the staff in to do their jobs?" she asked, wide eyed at how immaculate the entirely of the room seemed. Darren blushed lightly and pointed at himself.

"It was all….THIS GUY!" he said with a grin.

"SUCH a dork!" she said, shaking her head, but still smiling. He smiled in return as he guided her into the kitchen, which was equally spotless, and sat her in a chair that he had pulled out for her.

He went to the refrigerator and pulled out everything he had needed to make a nice salad, along with a couple of chicken breasts to heat and cut into the salads as well. She looked impressed at the things he had done.

"Wow" she remarked as he got to work with the good.

"What?" he looked up at her face.

"Everything, I guess. I feel like in the last three days you must have been taken over by aliens and replaced!"

He laughed lightly as he continued to work with the foods.

"I just wanted to make everything, I don't know…good(?) for when I could bring you….home" he said carefully. Eying her every few seconds to gauge how she was interpreting what he had just said to her, she looked like she was thinking, maybe considering her next words. He opted to continue.

"I got you some things too. I figured if you're going to stay, you needed to have some of your own things" he stated. "It's mostly all set up in the bathroom. Shampoo, conditioner, that kind of thing." He looked up at her again as he finished putting the salads together and brought them to the table.

After a quick trip back to the fridge to get a couple of types of dressings and bottles of water for each of them, he came and sat next to Liz at the table. She thanked him for the food and eyed him a little cautiously as he nodded his 'you're welcome' back to her. She took a bite and moaned lightly. This was definitely better than the food she had been served at the hospital. She also had no idea what to really say to him at this point, about the things he had said, about this being 'home', buying her things, staying with him.

"Is it okay…that I did that stuff?" he asked with a nervous hint to his voice. "I just wanted you to be comfortable, safe. I wanted you to know I wanted you to stay" his voice trailed off a little at the end.

"It's, ummm, it's … nice…thank you" she said barely above a whisper, looking at him with sincerity in her eyes. "How long though? I mean this is a hotel Darren. It's not my home; it's not even your home, not really. You are going to have to leave soon yourself. What then?" she let out a breath she hadn't realized had been trapped in her lungs. "Wouldn't it be easier to just let all this go now? To not pretend that it's all real?" she looked hurt, confused. He understood, to some degree. He was offering more than she realized and he'd have to explain better. But not now.

"How about for tonight, we finish eating, we don't talk about anything important, we'll watch a movie or something and just go to bed. We'll hit the important stuff tomorrow. Would that be okay? Just one night off of the heavy stuff?" he asked, hopefully, giving his best puppy dog eyes. Who was she to say no to that?! She couldn't, so with a giggle and a shake of her head, she agreed to his terms.

They ate dinner talking about things of little to no consequential value. After they cleaned up the food and dirty plates, he led her to the patio to give her, her present.

"What's this for?" she asked looking up at him from her chair, holding the little well wrapped package in her hand.

"Cause I could!" he grinned again. That damn grin! "Just open it, it's nothing really" he added. He suddenly felt a little nervous that she may think he was trying to flaunt his wealth or something.

She started opening the paper, looking at him the entire time. When she felt the paper loosen enough she looked down and pulled it away.

"You bought me an IPod?" she asked, a little confused, surprised, and happy all at the same time.

"Well, I remembered you used mine when you were in the bath and so I thought you liked it. If you already have one we can take it back and" she cut him off with her own words.

"I don't have one" she said as she pulled it out of the box and turned it on. "It's already got….did you put music on it for me?" she asked looking up to him yet again. He nodded a yes with a small blush on his face. She scrolled through; she didn't know all of the songs but did know a few. She smiled and nodded her head a she looked with a grin on her face. She looked at Darren just after she realized he had put his own song, Not Alone, into the list.

"That song has saved me more than once you know" she said, tears in her eyes now. "You saved me before you ever knew me". She let out another labored breath as her tears started to fall more consistently now. He couldn't help but allow his to follow suit. He got down on his knees in front of her so he could put her back into the comfort of his arms. They stayed like that for a while until he straightened up again to look her in the face.

"What happened to nothing serious tonight?" he asked lightly. She giggled as she wiped her tears away, and then reached to do the same for him.

"It was your fault, ya big jerk!" she laughed. He smiled.

"Movie!" he stated matter of factly as he pulled her up and dragged her back into the hotel room. "I'll get popcorn, you pick a movie" he said, pushing her toward the living room area where she would find his DVD stash, now removed from his bag and stacked nearly by the television.

She picked a random romcom, only slightly surprised to have found it in his collection and slipped it into the DVD player. Darren returned with popcorn just as she was skipping through the previews to get to the main menu screen.

"Ready?" she asked as he sat on the couch next to her.

"Let's do this!" he grinned, setting the bowl on his lap and getting comfortable. She pressed play and the opening sequence began.

They watched the movie in near silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, just quiet. They laughed when appropriate, ate their popcorn, and paid more attention to the cheesy film than was necessary. It was the easiest way to avoid starting a serious conversation that neither one wanted to have tonight.

As the end credits rolled, Liz stopped the DVD and off the TV. She stretched as she stood, reaching out to pull Darren up from the couch as well.

"Bed" she said as matter of factly as Darren had earlier about the movie. She started pulling him toward that room. He followed quietly, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he went. She grabbed the pj pants and tee shirt she had worn before and went to the bathroom to change while Darren stripped down to his boxers and wife beater he had been wearing under his clothes. Putting his dirty clothes in a bin by the door, he climbed into bed. Liz walked in then, adding her own clothes to the bin, she made her way to climb into bed as well.

Darren didn't move to touch her, he felt like it might scare her now in some way he lay on his back staring at the ceiling, she lay facing the doors that led to the patio. He flipped the lamp by his bed off and they lay there in a dark silence. This time it was awkward, neither wanting to say it, but both wanting to cuddle like they had before, wanting the comfort from the other that they had previously enjoyed.

"So, serious talking tomorrow?" Liz asked, mainly to cut the quiet.

"We should, don't ya think?" he asked a little nervously. She thought he sounded cute, almost like a nervous child having to tell his parents that he had messed up. She nodded first, with a tiny grin, and then spoke her agreement.

"Yeah, I think we need to, too" she whispered. He nodded his agreement and satisfaction. Then the silence began to fill back in again. Tired of the awkward feel between them, Liz reached back, grabbed at Darren's hands and pulled him toward herself. He rolled to his side as she pulled his arm around her, snuggling down into the bed and backing slightly so her back was against his chest. He cuddled into her, returning to the comfort of being her big spoon again.

"Goodnight Liz"

"Goodnight…dork!" she returned smiling, comforted.


	15. Chapter 15

Time to talk

**A/N: This is primarily for thank you's this week. Thank you for the reviews I got and for asking me to continue and for the alerts and such. Thank you heavynstargleek101 for beta'ing and letting me feel like I know what I'm doing when I sometimes don't! Thank you so much to my friend Christie for helping me with this chapter and volunteering to help going forward, for giving me awesome advice, a future to look forward to with this story, and a perfect band and song that I will listen to every time I write from here forward!**

The night passed quickly. They both slept well having the other for support. No nightmares disturbed the quiet this night. The sun shone through the curtains quicker than either were anticipating. Both were a little nervous about what lay ahead, both knowing it needed to happen. They couldn't continue acting like the past few days hadn't occurred and they needed to figure out where the other was with everything.

Darren took a deep breath as he looked over at Liz, who was just waking up as well. He gave her a tired and anxious smile as he rolled onto his back and stretched his arms out over his head. She returned the smile, rubbed her eyes and rolled onto her back as well.

"It's that time already huh?" she asked softly, a little sheepishly.

"It seems to be," Darren responded just as shyly. "You wanna go have breakfast first, or, or, I don't know, anything?"

"No, I think we need to just do this," she said with a lot less confidence in her voice than she wanted. "If that's okay with you, that is" she added quickly, looking over at him.

"No, we should probably just do this, figure this out" he said, nodding at her, showing a bit more confidence than he had expected. Neither really knew what this talk would entail, but the heaviness in the air was tangible, like they could reach out and grab it - and they both wanted to, they wanted to pull it down so they could breathe more freely again.

"Okay," she said and returned her gaze to the ceiling.

"Okay," he breathed out with less assurance this time.

What now? Who was supposed to start? What were they supposed to say? And where was it supposed to go? Neither knew and so the silence began filling the spaces where their voices had just been hanging in the air. Darren looked over at her again for a moment before returning his gaze to the ceiling too. Maybe if they could just talk to the ceiling, it would be easier to get this thing rolling along.

"Sooo," they both started at once, followed by a nervous giggle, putting them right back where they started.

"Go ahead," Darren conceded his thoughts, not that he really had any - he was just trying to cut the silence before it got too thick again.

She nodded slightly, "I was just going to suggest maybe we ask each other questions, instead of waiting for the other to start talking… -I mean, I have questions, you have to have questions, it would just be easier to get everything out there, wouldn't it?" she asked him.

"Yeah, maybe that is easier…. umm, okay, so, yeah, let's do that then," he nodded, looking a little more at ease. "So, me first?"

"Yeah, sure, that's fine," she nodded, turning to her side, to face him, feeling a little bit better since she decided to do it this way, instead of just pouring her guts out with things she wasn't sure he even wanted to know or hear about.

He looked at her but, for now, stayed on his back, looking at the ceiling as he asked. He thought he would start simple.

"So, what did the doctors say, or I mean, like, what happened at the hospital?" he asked, a little cautiously.

She took a breath and told him about everything that happened at the hospital - about the psychologist and the nurses, and even the orderly who brought her food and how they talked. She told him a little about how she felt while she was there, how she felt when she remembered why she was really there, when it sunk in that the rape was old news and that she had tried to commit suicide.

"And then I remembered that's why you were there, that's why I felt so close to you, why I wanted you then, wanted to see you. It was like it hit me that you were my knight in that moment. You saved me, not with your song this time, but you, literally, physically saved me and it just hit me so hard." She stopped talking and looked at him again. "Then I also realized that….that…this was a fluke, that I wasn't supposed to meet you, you weren't supposed to be there, no one was, no one was supposed to help me….." she trailed off a little, finally letting the tears that were building spill over just a bit. She exhaled and waited. She didn't know if she wanted to continue just yet. When Darren didn't say anything, didn't move, she started again. "Don't get me wrong, I am happy you showed up, it was all so fucked up…- I was…AM so fucked up inside Darren. I don't think I would try that again, that was stupid, and I know that -but just because it didn't work, just because I was rescued from that moment, and because I was in the hospital, that doesn't mean it's all gone now. I'm still not okay, I mean I'm still fucked up!" she almost sounded angry. He wasn't sure if it was at him for saving her or at herself for having let herself get to that point, or even because she still felt this way and didn't want to. Her tears were rolling in earnest now and she pulled back a bit, sat up, and tried wiping them away. "I just, I've been through a lot of shit Darren, a lot of stupid things that never should've happened and I'm totally taking responsibility for the things that I did but it wasn't all my fault. I'm pissed! I'm pissed at the people who were supposed to be there for me, the person who raped me and then tried to fucking kill me! I'm pissed that you didn't let me do what I wanted but I'm pissed at myself that I even tried!" she was sobbing and shaking and starting to hyperventilate.

Darren sat up and went to wrap his arms around her. _Damn!_ He hadn't thought it was going to get this deep, this emotional, from the start. As he reached for her, she pulled away and slid across the bed. He looked hurt and pulled his arm back, but instead reached to his bedside and grabbed some Kleenex to give her, which she took gratefully. He didn't really know what to do now, what to say, he wasn't going to ask anything else, just let her talk when she was ready.

"I'm sorry," she moaned sadly after she had wiped her nose, and as much of the tear tracks as she could, off her face. They were still falling, just a little slower than before. He shook his head as if to tell her not to feel bad about it. "I'm just tired and I hurt, and I am so tired of hurting. My head is like a constant fog and in the last couple days, since I met you and spent some time with you, it's like that fog is kind of lifting a little. I mean I know the hospital and the meds and talking and all that of course helped too, but you make me feel better. You make me feel like I don't have to hurt, like I don't have to be tired of my life, that good stuff can and does happen."

"That's how you should feel," he smiled gently. All he could think was how sad she looked, must have felt, he wanted to fix her, help her, make her understand that those things do not have to define her forever.

"But why? Why should I feel that way Darren?" she was so frustrated. " This, this whatever this is, this isn't permanent, this isn't my life, it's not your life, it isn't going to last. You are going to leave, go back home, you have so many things to do and places to be and family and friends and it's not like I can just leave and be a part of that, it's not like I can count on any of this lasting, ya know?" she looked at him, almost pleadingly, trying to make him understand that while she is grateful for everything he has done thus far, she knows it isn't going to last, that she doesn't expect it to. He nodded slightly but looked hurt all the same.

"I've been thinking too ya know?" he asked with just a little hint of indignation. He wasn't mad, not really, but he wanted her to understand that he wasn't the type of person who was or could even consider walking away from this situation, whatever it may be. "I am not going to just leave you, leave this situation. Do you think I really could just walk out the door and go back to L.A. and pretend we weren't both out there on the beach that night? Do you even remember that I was there first for me, not for you?!" his voice raised a little, not in anger really but in trepidation and with the thought that being so aggressive with his response was the only way he was going to make her understand. "I was there….for me," softer this time. "I was thinking the same thing you were and it scared the shit out of me that the thought crossed my mind so easily. Clearly I'm a little fucked up myself, and yes I understand that things aren't perfect, that three days in a hospital haven't healed your head, or your heart, I get that, I didn't expect it to. I'm not that naïve, Liz, nor inconsiderate. You have a past, so do I, everybody does" he sighed at the end.

"So, you've been thinking, what about?" she asked almost nervously, looking away from him, afraid of the eye contact. _How is he even real? Why does he want to help me? This whole situation is insane!_

"I made some calls while you were in the hospital and I wanted to talk to you before I decided anything… - clearly, this isn't my decision but I want you to know that I'm not just running away from this, from you. So, well, if I did leave, like where would you go? Where could you go?" _Please, give me a name, a friend, family, somewhere, a life you can go to if you say no to me._

She shook her head slowly, "honestly, I don't really know… - I mean, I go back to the beach and get my car and…function…. for now, until I can get a job again and ….." she looked a little nervous, sad.

_DAMN IT!_ "See? That is the stuff I didn't want to hear, to think about. You can't do that, I won't let you do that Liz, it's pointless. You have nobody here, right? There's nothing holding you here?"

"No, not really, it's just where I'm from, it's familiar, I know this place" she answered, shrugging. _What exactly is he trying to get at here? _Now confusion filled her face as much as fear and sadness.

"Come with me!" he flashed that trademark giant grin at her, "Come on!" His triangular eyebrows raising and wiggling slightly, making her grin back a little.

"What? Are you crazy? I can't do that," _Can I?_ "I can't, I …" she didn't know where she was going with it, except that she knew this was the craziest thing he has ever said.

"Why? Why can't you?" _Just say you will!_ "You already said you have nothing holding here, there is no one here for you … - you would go live in your damn car. I can give you a place to stay, I can help you get back on your feet there, I can make sure you're okay, that you're going to your counseling and taking the medication the doctor prescribed, I can be there when you have another nightmare." _Please!_

"But you don't have to be, I'm not your responsibility, I don't want you to feel like you have to let me tag along, or that you have to have me around. You don't owe me anything, if anything I owe you, A LOT!" she was shaking her head again. She was completely thrown by how kind he was trying to be but it was something that was completely foreign to her too. She couldn't do this. What if she did and he decided, like everyone else in her life, that he was done and didn't want her around anymore? What would she do then? At least here she knew where she was, this was her ground. She was lost in thought when he started talking again.

"Well, first let me just say, your car isn't at the beach anymore...I went there when you were in the hospital to make sure so it could be brought back, but it was already gone, so we have to call and find out where it was towed and get it back. Secondly, you owe me nothing, and I'm not doing anything because I feel like I owe you, nobody owes anybody anything. We saved each other already, the debt went both ways and so they're cancelled, this is because I want to, because we do help each other, that much is evident already, don't ya think?" he asked a little hysterically. "Wait, okay, I also talked to Ryan a couple of days ago and recording has been pushed back by like a week, so I have another full week I can be here before I have to worry about any of that. What if for the next week, we stay here, you stay with me, we get your car back, we hang out, we just be ourselves, no stressing, no drama, just be who we are. If we can handle it for the next week, without anyone wanting to leave, without the fear, without running, then we revisit this conversation, revisit the decision to come with me? Does that work for you?" he asked with a hopeful hint in his voice, puppy dog eyes trained on her, grin wanting to form on his lips the second she gives him a yes.

She looked around the room; frankly this whole idea already made her want to run. It'd be the easiest way to forget it and not risk the pain of someone else failing her. At the same time though, she didn't want to run. She wanted to face it head on and hope it could be what she wanted it to be. She wasn't looking for a relationship or love or anything more than this inseparable friendship she feels like she's started with him.

With 'inseparable' comes so much baggage though, and that's what gives her the spark, the urge to run. She closes her eyes and thinks hard, fights the urge to say no, fights the urge to get up and walk out the door and not look back. When she opens her eyes, her first sight is Darren, moving in closer, wrapping arms around her like he tried to do earlier, this time she let him. In his warmth and the quiet of the room, she shook her fear away and nodded a yes into his shoulder and decided she was going to stay.

"Yes? That was a yes?" he asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt the quiet but needing, in his heart, to know that she wasn't going to disappear on him.

"Mmmhhmmm" she sat back up again. "I'll try, I'm not going to guarantee anything though," she looked back at him.

"Okay, okay, that's fair," he smiled softly, which made her feel better.

"Well, ummm is there anything else we should talk about right now or….?" she asked gently, not wanting to push it, not wanting to make it rough it again.

"I think I'm …..happy, I **am** happy at the moment, if you are….I think this ended up a little bit deeper than I expected," he laughed gently.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling a bit embarrassed about the emotions that had escaped her while they'd been talking.

"No, no, no, don't apologize for that! I'm glad you told me, glad I understand where you are mentally, what you're thinking and some of your fears. I just think we really needed a better understanding of each other right now," he said gently, reassuring her. "And, now…we can eat!" he jumped up off the bed as if a ton of bricks had been removed from his body. She giggled and got up to follow him to the kitchen.

"Ummm, Darren?" she asked as they were walking down the hall.

"Yes?" he turned to look at her.

"Wanna put some clothes on first?" she asked, eying down his body and at the tee shirt and boxers that covered it. He laughed out loud looked down at himself as a light blush covered his cheeks.

"Yes! THAT I can do….I wouldn't want to distract you from your food," he raised those amazing eyebrows at her again and laughed, walking back to go into the bathroom to get dressed. She rolled her eyes, giggled and walked into the other room.

This wasn't perfect, she wasn't free of fear and regrets, she wasn't all better, she wasn't perfect, but she realized and remembered that clearly he wasn't either and for some reason that made her feel better for now. The thought of him needing her as much as she felt herself starting to need him, took just a little bit of that fear away. It was going to be a long week but she was hoping it was going to be as good as she wanted it to be. The fact that she wanted it to be good, and to go well, was enough to tense her a little again but she was working on letting that go and just enjoying this week, wherever it went.

As her thoughts began to escape her, she pulled out milk and cereal and orange juice to sit on the table, Darren returned.

"We do nothing today but spend time together, doing whatever we want, or nothing if we want, and then tomorrow, maybe shopping?" he asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"Shopping?" she mimicked.

"Do you wanna wear that for the rest of your life?" he asked with an eye brow raised. "You can if you want," he teased. "I'm not opposed to it."

"Darren," she moaned, running her fingers through her hair, "you don't have to keep buying me things."

"No, I don't but I DO have to live with you for the next week, and not to be a dick, but you are gunna stink if I don't get you into some new clothes soon!" he laughed. She smiled, shook her head again and sighed, agreeing to his proposal.

Nothing was perfect, _thank god!_ she thought to herself, but it seemed this was as good a time as any to start over, so she was going to try.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: First thanks again to my officially unofficial (amazingly amazing awesome) beta, HeavynStarGleek101, check out her stories (Pinky promise? Pinky promise! Is my favorite, who doesn't love kiddie!klaine ?) Also, thanks to all the people who have been reading from the beginning, who are reviewing, and who are asking for more. I hate asking for reviews but am understanding now how much they really do help a person push through the inevitable writers block. I have a better outline, thanks to help from my friend Christie, of where this story is progressing to now and hope you all enjoy!**

Life stories

They spent the remainder of the day doing nothing. They ate when they were hungry, watched movies, and hung out. They talked lightly about the area, friends, and learned more small things about each other. It was an entirely relaxing day for the both of them. Darren had shut his cell phone off and unplugged the phone in the room so they wouldn't be bothered. Eventually, they both passed out on the couch with yet another movie playing out on the screen in front of them.

When Liz woke the next morning, she made her way to the bathroom. Gathering all of the things Darren had bought her, she took a shower, and felt even better once she was able to shave. When she was done, hair wrapped in a towel, and robe secured around her waist, she made her way to Darren's room. She found a decent pair of basketball shorts and a tee shirt of Darren's to throw over her under things. When she was satisfied they wouldn't fall to her ankles as she walked, she headed back out to where Darren was still asleep. Instead of waking him, she went to the kitchen and made them breakfast.

A half hour later, Darren stirred awake smelling food. He opened his eyes just as Liz walked into the room with two plates full of eggs, french toast, and sausage. He couldn't keep the smile from turning up his lips.

"I could get used to this," he sat up to take a sip of the coffee that was already in front of him. His signature grin played across his face, all the way up to his eyes. Liz just shook her head and sat Darren's plate down on the table in front of him to join his coffee.

"Don't get too excited, you haven't actually tasted it yet," she raised her eye brows and twisted her lips up into a smirk. His triangular brows rose up into his long curls as he picked up his fork, as if to say 'challenge accepted', shoveling a forkful of a little bit of everything into his mouth, his eyes fell shut, and a moan escaped around the food.

"Oh my dead wizard god," he muttered with his mouth still full.

"Soooo, that's a good thing right?" she giggled as she sat across from him to begin eating her own breakfast.

"This is amazing!" He continued to compliment, mouth still chewing as he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Well, I'm glad you like it," Liz grinned, green eyes shining as she filled her fork. "When we're done, you can jump in the shower and we can go get this shopping thing out of the way?" Darren nodded, instead of talking with his mouth full again.

It didn't take him long to finish and he went to clean up and get ready to leave as Liz finished her food. When she was done, she took the plates back to the kitchen and cleaned up everything there. She sat at the kitchen table with another cup of coffee while she waited. She spent the time trying to wrap her mind around the changes she was dealing with. Just over a week ago she had spent the night in her car at a 24/7 grocery store. Now here she was sitting in a beautiful room, in a beautiful hotel, in a beautiful part of the city, sipping coffee while waiting for Darren freakin' Criss to get out of the shower so they can go shopping together.

_What the actual fuck?! _rang through her mind as she shook her head and took another sip of coffee. A slight laugh escaped her lips.

"What's so funny?"Darren approached her, sitting himself at the table next to her as he pulled on his socks.

"Oh, nothing," Liz returned the cup to her lips one more time in an effort to not say anything else. She gave him a soft smile as she stood and emptied her coffee cup into the sink. "Are you ready to go?" she tilted her head in his direction.

"Whenever you are," he stood and went to slip into his shoes. "We have to get you some new stuff soon or else I'm clearly going to run out of clothes soon myself," he looked back to her, eying the outfit she had chosen. Her face tinged just a light shade of pink.

"Is it okay that I borrowed this stuff? I would've asked but you were still sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up," she looked away a little embarrassed, shy looking, playing with her hair a bit, which seemed to be some sort of a nervous habit for her. Darren laughed as he nodded his head.

"No, its fine, I was just teasing," he grabbed his keys as Liz slid into her shoes and they made their way to the door. "When was the last time you were able to buy something you wanted, just because you WANTED it?" he questioned, brow raised.

"Honestly, I can't even remember," she said looking at him, feeling so grateful now that he was the one who had showed up on the beach when she was there, even though she hadn't realized it in that moment. Not because he wanted to buy her things but because he so readily accepted her and seemed to love the stupid little things about her that everyone else either blew off or complained about. "How are you really the most awesome person ever?" she smiled.

"Soooo, I'll take that as a compliment! You'll tolerate being seen in public with little old me?" his head tilting in her direction as they walked from the hotel to the car. "I know it'll be horrible for your reputation and all being seen with SUCH a loser but I would be grateful if you would," he smiled at her. She rolled her eyes with a grin.

"Let's do it," she smiled back, stopping him in front of the car giving him a hug. He hugged her back and whispered, "huzzah!" with a grin of his own. For some reason, she knew that was coming and she just shook her head into his shoulder.

"Such a nerd!" she whispered back as she loosened her hold on him and made her way to the car, as did he. He could sense her tensing a little. She hadn't really been anywhere since they had met, other than the hospital.

"It's okay, I promise. This is going to be fun, and it will be good for you too," he reached over and gave her hand a small squeeze.

"I know, I just, it's weird. Everybody is going to be looking at you, therefore looking at me and wondering why this frumpy nobody is hanging out with Darren Criss and what kind of answer do I have for that? No idea!" she shook her head and breathed in sharply.

"Let me do the talking, if there is even any talking to have to do, okay? It's going to be fine. Nobody is going to bother us; we're going to have a great day! Why wouldn't we? We already ate the breakfast of champions, so we are destined for greatness today!" he grinned. She gave him a weak smile back. _He's so supportive, how in the hell could he have been considering taking his own life the other night, I swear someone sent him there for a reason, for me. _Her smile grew as she watched him start the car and pull out of the parking lot onto the highway. The mall was very close to the hotel, she barely had time to process leaving the parking lot until they were pulling into the lot at the store.

There were a ton of cars here, someone was bound to recognize them, well him, here. No one was going to recognize her and if they did it wouldn't matter. He found a space, not too far away from the entrance and parked the car. She noticed it was getting difficult to breathe. Darren noticed too.

"I promised you this was going to be okay, right?"

"Mmhhmm," she nodded, trying to regain control of herself. She noticed her hands had started shaking a little bit too, and she felt bad because she wasn't trying to make him feel bad, she just couldn't get a grip on herself. She started having a visible panic attack. She looked him in the eyes as she sat there, trying to slow her heart back into a normal pace.

He gasped a little when her eyes made full contact with his and she noticed.

"Are you okay?" she asked between quick short breathes.

"When you look at me like that, it feels like you're looking right into me, and it's like I can't even breathe for a second," he looked at her as he reached over and grabbed her hand in his.

" I feel like I need to tell you something, now, because you need to know and I hope in telling you, that you will stop feeling like this, that you won't be scared to be here, to be with me," he breathed out a slow and shaky breath. She sat more erect, listening to him more closely than she had since she met him, wondering what he could possibly be talking about.

"I love you." There it was, plain and simple, and out in the world, right to her. It was her turn to gasp a little.

"I, ummm, but, how?" she stuttered, trying to find some words that were just not there at the moment.

"Listen, I know that seems huge and probably scary as hell for you to hear right now. I just had to get it out there, and I wanted it to be better than sitting in a car in a parking lot at a mall, but I needed you to hear it now, so that maybe you could feel a little better, that your fear wouldn't take you over right now." He looked away for a minute feeling defeated and a little stupid at the same time.

"I don't think I have explained myself very well at all. I love you, I do, I can't help that, I can't change it, I don't want to change it. I love you, you are the coolest person I have met in forever and I feel close to you, and feel like I have known you forever. I'm not saying I am IN LOVE with you, not yet, maybe not ever, I just met you, but I do love you already. I love who you are, I love that you are way stronger than you think you are, I love that you think I'm awesome even though you know I am also a total dork, I love that we feel so comfortable and ourselves with each other, I love that with you in my arms I can sleep for hours before I even know it. I don't know if that means that you are my best friend, if that means that we are more than that, if that means that we will live happily ever after from here to eternity, but I know it means just what it is, that I DO love you, and for me, that's enough for now. I hope it's enough, and not too much, for you too." He looked out the windshield of his car, at nothing in particular, not sure if he dare look back in her eyes, without starting to cry and god knows they had had enough of that already.

"Darren?" she questioned, this time pulling his face up to look back at her. "I, ummm, I love you too." Her eyes fell for just a second and then her confidence was regained. "If you don't need me to be in love with you, if you understand that I can't let myself be in love with you right now, maybe ever, and if you understand that I am going to have problems trusting you and others too, sometimes, that I may cling to you like air because you are for me sometimes, if you can understand and accept that I am who I am because of who I was, but help me change into who I want to become …. I love you too." She let out the same ragged breath he had when he was finished speaking. She let go of his hand, put her fingers to her lips in a little kiss, and pushed them into his lips. He smiled and did the same.

He had accomplished what he set out to do. By telling her now, she was more comfortable, and was willing to face whatever, or whoever, might be in front of them now, because he had told her.

"Are you ready to do this?" he asked softly.

"Let's go," she smiled at him. She got out first this time, walked to his door, opened it, and helped him out of the car. He smiled as she pulled him out and gave him a hug. "You are undoubtedly the best friend a person could ever have," she whispered into his neck. He gave her an even tighter squeeze before he let her go and she pulled away. He took her by the hand and they started walking toward the entrance of the mall.

Everything seemed to go so well, they walked to the mall entrance without notice, started wandering through the hallways looking at different stores and making a plan of attack. She pretty much needed everything from underclothes to jeans and tops, shoes, socks, everything. One doesn't prepare for having things like this on hand when they plan on going to the beach to die. She felt guilty that he was going to spend all this money on her, rebuilding her life starting with her wardrobe. She didn't like that she couldn't contribute in any way, but she literally had nothing to put into it. He had to repeatedly tell her to stop apologizing and to stop thanking him ceaselessly for the things he was doing. He was only doing it because he wanted to, because he could, because she needed it, because he knew it would make her happy, and because he was her friend and it's what friends do for each other, help when help is needed.

They had gone into a few different places and she tried things on, got his advice, put some stuff back, and tried other things. After five stores she already had 6 pairs of jeans, 8 or 9 tops, a skirt, and 2 pairs of shoes. She needed to go about getting the essentials, bras, underwear, socks, but didn't want to have to take him with her to get them. How embarrassing was that? She just met the man really, he had just told her that he loved her for the first time, really fast she might add, and now she was supposed to take him into a store and buy underwear and bras with him? She thought not, but she didn't know how to go about saying that to him or to even do it otherwise, he was putting everything on a credit card and obviously it was in his name, so it wasn't like she could use it or anything.

He sensed that she started getting nervous again and didn't understand why. He assumed she was still feeling bad about the amount of money he was spending on her and he wished she could just accept it and be happy with the things she'd gotten and the day they were having. He had just told her he loved her, and in saying it and hearing her response, his day was made perfect. He was just sharing it with the one person who seemed to just fit so well into his life, into his mind, and his heart, that it didn't make sense to not be smiling. It didn't matter that it wasn't an in love kind of love, it was love nonetheless and that is what mattered to him. So why was she acting all strange again all of a sudden? She was smiling at him and did look genuinely happy that they were there, together, and she was happy with the things she had gotten, having thanked him repeatedly.

"Should we get lunch?" he quirked an eyebrow, they were walking past the food court and it was about that time already.

"Do you ever not think about food?" she giggled at him, shaking her head.

"I'm a growing boy!" he gave her a hurt look but then smiled. "I figured we were here in this general area and so was the food, we could get something to eat and then go down the other end of the mall and see what we can't spend on that end," he nodded toward the end they hadn't been to yet.

"I suppose, since you are on such a spending spree today, I could be persuaded to get a few more things," she grinned.

They ordered from one of the fast food kiosks and went and sat at a small table to eat. They were uninterrupted the entire time. She had a feeling that because he was so not dressed to impress today that he went rather incognito without really trying. Most people who did know him, knew him with a perfectly shaven face and either long messy curls or hair that was so gelled to his head that it didn't move. Today he was unshaven, very scruffy, and his hair was somewhere in between shaggy and gel helmet. There were a lot of people in the mall but none seemed to take notice of them, which is what she preferred anyway. She felt bad that she had freaked out about coming in, but thankful that they got to have the conversation they had because of it. She thought of all of this while they sat and ate. Her quietness concerned him a little but it wasn't like an awkward quietness either, it was okay. He sat and watched her while she watched all the thoughts flow through her mind.

When she was done eating, she looked up to see if he was almost ready. He had been sitting there mindlessly staring at her since he had finished, nearly ten minutes before her. She smiled, apologized, and got up to throw their mess away.

"Are you ready to go?" she eyed him as he started to stand.

"Let's do it!" he said as he walked over to her, quickly grabbing her hand into his own. He liked it there, he felt better with it there, knowing she was there. She smiled at him, noticing his hurry to take her hand, and they started to walk away. She was immediately reminded of the things she still had to buy and started to get nervous all over again.

"Okay, so here's the deal," she started, all fidgety and rushed, "I have to buy some ummm, some THINGS," she let the word flow out long and low hoping he would catch on to what the things were, he just looked at her with blank eyes. "Umm so I got clothes already, and shoes, and now I need like, underclothes?" she said with a question at the end really hoping he would get it now and not have to actually say that she needed to get bras and underwear to his face in the middle of a mall and feel like a complete idiot doing so. He just looked at her blankly for a few more seconds before what she had been saying really kicked in.

"OH! Things, you need things, I got it," he nodded his head repeatedly. "Okay, come with me." He pulled her along to a department style store at the end of the hall they were in. They went inside and she was sure that he was going to drag her to the lingerie department and make her pick out all this stuff right in front of him and embarrass the hell out of her. However, instead he made a turn when they went through the door and found a person working at the customer service desk. He told her to stay put and he went and spoke to the person. She wasn't sure what he had said but was soon returning with a smile on his face.

"Okay, I explained the situation a little bit and this is what we're gonna do. You're going to go through this store and get everything and anything you may need that we haven't gotten yet, that you can get here anyway, and you're going to bring it up to that lady at the counter who I was talking to, then give her this card, and you'll be all set." He handed her a credit card and kissed her cheek and started to walk away.

"Wait! How does that work? This thing has your name on it and where exactly are you going?" she asked confused as he walked back to her.

"That lady right there knows that you can use it, so go directly to her, I've already signed a release for the card and gave her my cell number. So, whenever you are done she's going to call my cell and I'll come back, sign the receipt, and we can be on our way. Right now I am going to go get some new strings for my….SHIT!" he ran his fingers through his hair looking as if he just came to some great realization and it wasn't a good one.

"What? What's wrong?" she immediately sounded concerned. She looked around as if she were looking for an answer to whatever it is that might be wrong with him.

"My guitar, I was going to get new strings for my guitar," he said more softly this time.

"Okay, and you can't get them here or?" she let it trail not knowing what the problem was exactly.

"My guitar? The one I had on the beach that night we met," he eyed her to see if she was catching on yet. She had.

"Oh my god! You left it there!" she said slowly as he started nodding his head letting her know she was right. "What can we do? Can we get it back somehow?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"No, no I can't get it back, it's okay though, go do what you need to do. I guess I get to go guitar shopping too. It's okay really, it wasn't a special one or anything, it was just one I happened to have with me at the time. The only really important one I have I didn't bring down here with me, it's at home thankfully, I would have killed if I lost it. This one I can handle losing, I guess someone got a free guitar if they went to the beach is all." He grinned a little, trying to put her at ease because she truly felt horrible and felt like it was her fault that he had lost it to begin with. He could tell she was upset and was blaming herself, like she tended to do.

"It's okay, really. Go buy the THINGS you so desperately need to buy without me," he winked, "and I will come get you when the customer service woman calls me that you're done." He kissed her on the forehead, squeezed her hand in his, and he left.

She still felt a little bad but like he had said, at least it wasn't an important one, and he was okay with just going and getting another one. She took off, grabbed a cart and went about buying all of the things that she needed that she didn't want him to see her buy. After she got the underclothes she needed she went and grabbed socks and found another pair of shoes that she really liked. She didn't know if she should because she already got two pairs, did she really need them? No not really, so she put them back. Next she went and grabbed some pads and tampons, and let herself pick out a little bit of makeup and a hair brush. She thought she had all of the essentials out of the way; there was nothing else she had to get that she couldn't buy in front of or with Darren there.

She made her way back to the counter where the lady had been at the service desk who was supposed to help her. As she got to the desk, the lady began ringing her stuff up on the scanner and Liz stood and waited. She turned and was looking around the store a little, mindlessly really, just people watching. She turned back to the clerk who was now done ringing up her purchases and was on the phone with Darren. The clerk hung up the phone and told Liz to have a seat on the bench by the counter, that he was on his way to sign the receipt.

When he walked in he went up to the clerk to sign the receipt. When that was done and he had grabbed all her bags and put them in the cart with her other things, he finally went to her, sat down next to her, putting his arm around her neck, and smiling.

"Ready?"

"Whenever you are," she returned, standing. She grabbed the cart from his reach and started to walk toward the exit, Darren in tow.

"I already have my new guitar picked out, just have to go grab it real quick, the clerk called before I could get it paid for." They walked into the shop, he showed her what he had picked out and then he paid for it and they left.

"Anything else you need? Or want?" he looked over at her. He loved seeing that she was just being there in the moment and smiling with him. That seemed like it was hard to come by with her sometimes.

"No, I think I'm good, unless you need something else. Otherwise, I'm ready to go," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay, let's get outta here then. I still have some calls I have to make and some things I have to get done for Starkid this afternoon." She nodded her head in agreement, put her hand on the cart full of bags and they started to walk back out to where they had come in from.

"It wasn't so bad was it? Spending a day here, buying new things, relaxing, eating more fattening food, laughing, and smiling with me?" He gave her his best 'aren't I cute' grin before he continued to walk. She giggled and shook her head.

"No, it wasn't so bad." She rolled her eyes and walked with him. They walked out the doors and over to his car. He popped the trunk and she took the cart full of bags over to it to start loading it all into the trunk, both of them seeming to sense how 'okay' this seemed. Like with everything else between them, the simple things just seemed to come naturally and feel normal. They both smiled slightly at this and then let it fade before the other could see. This just was, and it was good.

The ride back to the hotel was essentially silent; it wasn't like it was a long trip anyway. Once there, Darren parked the car and they unloaded all of their new belongings and went back up the elevator to their room. Inside they emptied everything onto the floor in the living room area and set about separating whose was whose. Darren took his things to the bedroom and began to shove them in closets and drawers around the room. Liz took her things and began folding them and putting them on the floor along the wall after she had followed him to the room.

"No, you don't have to do that, here," he opened the bottom two drawers of the dresser which were currently empty. "Use these two," he turned to her. She nodded, picked her items up and began filling drawers with her new things. She lined the shoes up next to the door and took the jeans and skirt and put them on the hangers that Darren had handed her after he showed her the drawer space she could use. After they both had put all of their things away, Darren sat on the bed with his new guitar, admiring it and playing it lightly tuning it just how he wanted it. Liz couldn't help but watch. She climbed onto the bed and lay down listening to the soft strum coming from the instrument as her eyes drifted closed. This had been a pretty big day for her and she was exhausted already.

"I have a few phone calls to make and I have to send some new tracks to Joey for the new show, why don't you go to sleep for a little while?" he stood and started walking toward the door with his phone in one hand and the guitar still in the other. She gave him a nod and a whimper of a response as she was already half asleep when he moved. He chuckled a little as he left the room to go do what he needed to do.

In the sitting area once again, he started his laptop, still fiddling with the guitar as it booted up. When it was loaded and he was signed in, he went to his music programs and listened to the tracks one more time to see if they were as good as he wanted them to be, when he gave himself approval, he sent them to Joey and awaited response. It didn't take long for his cell phone to ring and the smile to spread across his face. He had been expecting Joey to call with some word on whether they liked them or not but instead it was Dylan. He hadn't talked to Dylan in a minute so he was eager and he really wanted to know what the other man thought of the songs that had been written especially for him, for his voice.

"Hey!" Darren answered the phone excitedly.

"Dare! What's up man? I just heard the new tracks, BRILLIANT!" was the equally excited response.

"You like them then I would assume..." you could almost hear his smile in his voice.

"We love them, all of us, and the songs for me, it's just awesome knowing a song was written specifically with my voice and character in mind, it's so cool, thanks man," his voice trailed a little quieter now, almost with a little nostalgia. They all missed their friend, even though they were thankful for Darren's successes, they just missed their friend.

"I'm glad you like them, I worked hard on that shit," Darren teased, trying to lighten the tone a bit. Dylan laughed. They continued to talk about the songs, the musical itself, and how things were going in Chicago. Dylan told him to make room at home because he was planning on moving out to L.A. soon and would need a place to stay for a little while, of course Darren happily agreed, it would be nice to have another Starkid close to him all the time.

"It's going to be quite the full house," Darren chuckled.

"What do ya mean?"

"Well Evy is moving out in the next few days I guess so not so bad, but I have one leaving and two more coming in!" his voice was a little apprehensive, unsure how his friend would take the news and knowing he would want more information.

"Two coming in? Who else besides me?" Sounding as concerned and confused as Darren had expected him to.

"Well, you and, and Liz," was his short, almost stuttered response.

"Liz? Who the hell is Liz?" Dylan almost laughed.

Darren went on to explain who Liz was, how they met, what had been happening in the last few days. He could see the smile on Dylan's face as he explained how he felt so connected to her. Dylan was hoping Darren had maybe found someone he could really be with, someone that couldn't or wouldn't cause rumors of flings or try to use him for his new found fame or wealth. He wanted to like this girl before he knew her because it was clear his friend certainly did.

"Can't wait to meet her bro, she sounds awesome," before he could continue a piercing scream filled the phone. "Darren, dude, what the hell is going on?" but Darren didn't respond right away, he was running to the bedroom.

There was Liz, in the middle of the bed, trying to curl in on herself and forming another violent scream in her throat.

"Dude I have to go, it's Liz, she's having a nightmare, I have to take care of this, I'll call you back later okay?" but hung up before Dylan had a chance to respond. He ran to the bed, climbed into it and forced Liz into his arms. He whispered into her ear, telling her it was okay, that she was going to be okay, that it was just a dream. It took a while but eventually the stiffened body began to relax and Liz started whimpering and moaning a bit instead of the full on blood curdling screams she had begun with. She opened her eyes and stared at Darren blankly for a moment, trying to get her breathing back under control.

"Are you okay?" he asked, nervously.

"Nightmare?" she asked sheepishly, unsure what had happened and a little confused as to why it had happened. Darren simply nodded at her with a look of pity on his face.

"Did you take your meds this morning?" he asked, he hated asking, but wanted to be sure. She nodded in response, letting him know that the doctors said that at some point her body would become adjusted to the medication so it may not be as effective all the time, she just hadn't considered that it would happen this quickly.

"Okay, well that's good, hopefully it won't happen again anytime soon," he hugged her more tightly into his chest, making her feel as safe as he could. She nodded into his chest and snuggled in as much as she could, feeling safety in his heat.

"I think, ummm, do you think tomorrow we could go get my car?" she asked tentatively. He was concerned by that a bit, thinking she wanted to use it to run.

"Uh, yeah, yeah we can do that if you want," he returned slowly, nervously, biting on his bottom lip just a bit.

"And when we find it and get it back, I want to take you somewhere," she continued to almost whisper. He nodded again, nervous as ever.

"Okay, whatever you want," he responded pulling her tighter into the hold he had on her. They both lay there wishing that they could have more than one good day in a row!


	17. Chapter 17

A Trip Through A Life

**A/N: I feel like I am doing more apologizing than writing lately, and that makes me feel bad. The excuses while good enough, are still just that so I wont get into why I couldn't write and get on to the fact that, I have been writing I just couldn't post. I have a bit of a long chapter 17 for you and an almost complete 18 which should be posted soon as well. I also finished a Trent story that I started forever ago which makes me feel good, but clearly has no bearing on this story. So I will get down to it, the standard thank yous to you all for reading, to my beta for fixing and giving awesome ideas, and reviews are not required but most assuredly appreciated. On with the story…..**

After the effects of the naptime nightmare faded, Darren drug Liz out of bed. He worked to make the remainder of the day as calm as the day before had been. They watched a little TV, went down to the pool for a while, and called and located Liz' car. That seemed to make her feel better. After a late dinner and one more movie, Liz took a shower and got ready for bed.

Sleeping was something that was becoming a daunting task for her. Especially since now she couldn't even make it through a short nape without that man showing up in her mind. She had already taken the medications she was prescribed but opened the medicine cabinet to review the couple of bottles again. Her doctors warning of them not being as effective once her body got used to them, ringing in her mind. She reached up, pulled out the bottle, and sliped one more pill into her mouth with a drink of water before returning the bottle to the cabinet. She felt a little bad because she had promised to only take them as prescribed but justified it as a one time thing. She just really needed to sleep and this was a test. If it worked she would talk to the doctor who prescribed them or to her new therapist, once she went to see one, about increasing the dosage she was originally given. It was no big deal.

Once her mind had put her at ease once more, she clicked off the light and padded down the short hall into the bedroom. She climbed in next to Darren who was laying down and cuddled into the position that was already so familiar to them both, and without preamble they both fell asleep.

Once again no nightmares intruded on their comfort. They slept through the night and woke up feeling better. With sunlight peeking in through the curtains and Darren's face sticking lightly to his pillow from drool, he lifted his face and decided it was time to get up. He wiped his cheek and chin and tehn started to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. When he felt conscious enough, he shoved lightly at Liz' shoulder, which forced a grumble, moan, and full body stretch from the girl.

"Mmmmm, already?" she groaned, roling her body and slowly sitting up herself.

"Already," Darren laughed. "Come on, you wanna go get your car right?" he asked, unsure if he wanted to hear a yes or a no from her. He liked that her having her car ( her one own thing in the world) made her smile. He was just worried, if she got her car she may decide to just take off. She had that right of course, but he just really didn't want her to leave.

He heard another moan from the girl with the addition of a pitiful 'yes' at the end. She crawled out of bed and went to find clothes. He laughed as he followed suit, getting up and finding something to throw on. she took her things to the bathroom and he stayed in the bedroom.

When they were both done, they each made their way to the kitchen and had a quick breakfast. They quickly decided they would take a cab to the car, that way Darren could just ride with Liz, since she had things she wanted to show him anyway. With their food now gone, and the cab called, they headed down to the lobby to wait for it to arrive. It didn't take long at tall and the impound lot that held the car wasn't far either, out by the beach, so with little effort they were paying the impound fees and getting the car back, it was driven to the front for them.

Liz smiled as soon as she saw it coming around. It may not have been brand new and it may not have been perfect, but it was hers. Having lost it, even for a little while, made her realize how important having it had been to her. This was her home when she had nowhere else to go. It was her means to get to and from any form of safety she had known since she was sixteen years old. She used it to get to work, to get to friends, it was basically the only link she had left to the life she had known before her parents kicked her out. That was why she had to go get it and that was why she wanted to use it to take Darren to all the placed she had to show him today. It was a missing piece for her and now it was back.

She couldn't help but smile as it approached and she was handed back the keys. Everything was settled and so they were able to go. Liz nodded toward the passenger seat, telling Darren to get in. he couldn't help but return her smile. He didn't realize her car would have made her THIS happy. He crawled into the passenger seat and shut the door.

"Guess I shouldn't have felt so guilty about my car, huh?" he was looking around and into the backseat. It was full of clothes, blankets, pillows, and food wrappers.

"At least I have an excuse! I LIVE in mine, what's your excuse?" she tried to joke bt it came across a little more accusatory than she had expected. Darren had known she'd been staying in her car on occasion but it didn't really hit him until he saw it and she had made the statement. She could tell immediately by the change in his demeanor that he got it. she really hadn't meant for it to sound like it had, it was just funny, at least it was meant to be.

"I am such a dick!" he breathed out, buckling himself in. "I'm sorry, you're right, I have no excuse and obviously you do, DID, you did, but not anymore. You aren't ever going to have to ever do that again. I swear if I can never do another thing for you, you wont have to do this again!" he sounded angry.

"Darren, first, thank you, I know, I know how you feel about everything, I know it makes you mad, but it's okay, really, I've done it, I'm used to it, it's okay. Secondly, I didn't mean to sound so rude, so mean about it, I really didn't I guess it just hit me harder than I thought, I really was just trying to joke with you. Third, let's forget it okay? I wanna show you some stuff if that's okay?" as she ran her fingers through her blond hair and then scrubbed them over her face to clear her mind.

"You're right, let's go. I want to see whatever it is you have to show me" he nodded, making his thick brown curls bounce around on his forehead.

It didn't take them long to get to their first destination. It was a nice neighborhood, not really fancy or high dollar but nice and very obviously family oriented. They passed a school and a few churches, a couple of nice parks and some small mom n' pop stores in what Darren gathered to be the downtown area of this suburban location. Without a word Liz pulled into a driveway on her left and parked the car, she climbed out and began walking around the yard, looking in windows. Darrn was slightly confused but climbed out to be with her.

"Is this your house?" came quietly as he caught up to her.

"It…was" fell slowly and with confusion. She pointed back to the road to the for sale sign by the mailbox which Darren hadn't noticed until now.

"Oh" he took his turn at the window now. It was completely empty, no trace of anyone having lived there at all. He continued around the yard to any window he could reach and tried to find something, anything really, to maybe comfort her in knowing her whole childhood wasn't merely gone. He didn't find anything.

"How could they just leave? I wouldn't even know where to look, where they would go, I just assumed they would always be…. here."

"Did you see if there was any way into the garage, see if anything was left there?"

"No, I don't think, I don't know if I want to" she shook her head, pulling her fingers through her hair again, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that her only home, her parents, just disappeared, she didn't even know when.

"Go get in the car Liz, I'll check the back door and see if I can get in. if I find anything, I'll come let you decide if you want to see or not, okay?" he was already walking back toward the door. She nodded slowly and made her way to the car. She got one last good look at what used to be the houses of her neighbors, old friends, people she had spent sixteen years of her life with. Then she got in the car, forcing the tears back that were burning her eyes. She refused to give in to either sadness or anger. She should've known something like this would happen. She just focused on breathing and waiting for Darren to come back.

He walked into the garage and even though it was bright outside, it was dark in the vast empty space of the garage. He pulled his cell phone to use for light and held it out around him to see if there was anything. When he was about to give up, he noticed a box in the very corner and walked to it. It's was covered in dust and what appeared to be wadded up paper so was probably nothing more than garbage that had been swept up off the floor. His curiosity got the better of him quickly and he rummaged through the top layer of 'stuff' in the box. He was immediately saddened and he felt his stomach turn a little as he realized what it was.

In the box was scattered piles of pictures of Liz, some by herself, school photos, some with family, Christmas mornings when she was younger, there were even crayon colored pictures she must have drawn for her mom or dad at some point as a chi8ld. Flipping through as quickly as he could, he also noticed old report cards, homework assignments, and in the corner was what were probably Liz' first pair of shoes. It made him sick to think that they threw everything that was her in the trash like it meant nothing.

With a quick decisiveness he gathered it all back in the box and closed it. He walked out of the garage and made it back to the car, trying to reign in the look on his face to appear indifferent, it worked, sort of.

"Empty" he shrugged and Liz nodded, starting the car and pulling back out onto the street. She didn't say anything for a while, neither did he. What was there to say?

The silence hung in the air for a while, but it didn't thicken into the uncomfortable fog that so often seemed to happen. Instead, Darren just stared out the passenger window wondering where they were and where they were going, trying to put the box he found entirely out of his mind. Liz drove with intent, paying unwavering attention to the road out of her windshield and the cars around her.

In a relatively short amount of time, that felt much longer than it actually was to both of them, Liz broke the silence.

"This was the first place I stayed after my parents kicked me out" her eyes softer, pointing to a rundown house just up ahead on her side of the road. He turned to look and nodded slowly.

"It was pretty much a party pad. A girl I had known for a while from school, we were never really friends then, it was her place. Well, her parents place technically, but they pretty much left and did their own thing. After the party, she saw me at the gas station working and we talked over my break. She said I could come stay with her for a while. She said a lot of people came and went like that so it wasn't a big deal and her parents wouldn't care" she shrugged, as she slid the car to the side of the road as she got lost in a memory.

"I didn't stay long, it was after I knew I was pregnant but before losing the baby. I didn't like how people were coming and going all the time and I never got to sleep in the same place twice, it just wasn't great. I just went back to sleeping in my car at the gas station after that, she pulled back onto the road. Darren just looked at her_. She's younger than I am and I could never deal with the cards she's been dealt,_ he said to himself shaking his head slightly. Eventually she noticed he was staring and asked what was up.

"I'm sorry" so soft and so sincerely.

"Don't start that ….. none of that was your fault" she glanced to him as she could while driving.

"No, I'm not, not for that. I'm sorry that I went to the beach being a selfish prick, poor little rich kid, what the hell was I thinking?!" the hurt and confusion in his eyes showed her all she needed to see about how he was really feeling.

"You can't be sorry for that. Everybody has their own life, their own problems and circumstances. I haven't judged you for a second for questioning your life, I wouldn't, I haven't lived it," she looked at him as she pulled to a stop at their next destination.

"Thank you then, thank you for helping me see how good I've had it, for letting me be human and make mistakes, and move on from them when I don't even know if I deserve it."

She smiled at him, "It just makes you a dumb human….like me, she touched his cheek, as he returned her smile and began looking around.

"This is the gas station, huh?" he went to get out.

"Where are you going?" nervousness tinged her soft voice.

"I wanna see it, where you slept, where you worked. Do you wanna stay in the car? I'll just go grab us something to drink real quick," he shut the door, speaking to her through her open window.

"Ill, uhhh, I'll just stay here then," she nodded, nervous energy grabbing ahold of her more tightly as Darren walked away into the small building.

He went first and snuck a peek into the tiny attached garage, _I can't believe this was home_ he thought, almost sickened again by the idea. When he got inside he went and grabbed them each a cold soda and went in search of chips or cookies or something that would fill his stomach for at least a little while. Once he was satisfied with what he'd chosen, he went and got in line to pay. There were a couple of people ahead of him so it took a few minutes.

In the meantime, Liz was in the car trying to forget it all. She didn't want to remember the garage, the gas station, what had happened here_. I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have brought him here, What the hell was I thinking?_ She looked to the door of the gas station, hoping to see Darren walking to the car, but she didn't. Instead she saw a man she could never forget, no matter how hard she tried….


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N ok late again, I'm getting pretty good at that! I have decided there are only a few chapters left with the way I have decided to go with this story. I have tried to do almost each day they have been together at the hotel as an individual chapter because I wanted that time frame to take its time, to make it visible and tangible that having only had a couple of weeks together that they are capable of having the feelings that they toward each other because of all the events, big and small, that have occurred in those days. I want to thank everyone who is reading and reviewing and giving me ideas for this and for my beta! For now, continue reading and enjoy….**

It's Time To Go

Her breathing quickened and her heart felt like it would thud right out of her chest at any moment, she closed her eyes so she didn't have to see his face, those fucking eyes, anymore. She wrapped her arms around herself to try to stop the visible shaking and worked at making herself breathe before she passed out. Then she heard his voice, if she was sure who it was from seeing him, she was beyond positive at the sound of his voice. She heard the passenger side door open and was too afraid to open her eyes to see if it was him or Darren who had opened it.

He immediately noticed her obvious distress when he got in and reached out to her.

"Hey, hey, what happened? What's going on?" concern laced every syllable.

"I've gotta get outta here, this was a really stupid idea, we've gotta go" she exhaled her last held breath. Nodding emphatically in agreement, Darren slung his seatbelt over his shoulder.

"Let's go then, wherever you want, whatever you wanna do" he had thought coming to all these places would be hard for the girl but he hadn't thought it would be this frightening. She was on medication to calm any anxiety, after all.

She pulled herself together enough to start the car and threw it in reverse. Paying no attention to her rearview mirrors, she let off the brake, hit the gas, and slammed backwards, out of the parking space.

"HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?!" she heard and slammed the brakes quickly as she scanned her mirror finally and realized HE was there. She had almost nailed him with her car. They made direct eye contact for the first time, through her mirror, and a twisted smile played across her lips when she realized the utter fear was in his eyes this time instead of her own. She mouthed the words 'fuck you' a she put the car in drive and slammed the gas again, pulling out onto the road and not stopping again until they were back at the hotel.

Darren sat silent, stunned, and if he admitted it to himself, scared. He remained silent until the car was parked. Then he felt like he could breathe again.

"What the fuck was that?" his eyes pled for some kind of rational explanation from the girl next to him.

"THAT was, oddly enough, what I think I needed," she smiled and climbed out of the car. Darren reluctantly followed suit, and she met him at the front of the car. She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding on to him tightly. He felt her body still shaking but not nearly as bad as it had appeared to have been when he had first returned to the car.

"When do we leave?" came murmured against his chest.

"What?" he was so confused now, he pulled her away to make sure he had her correctly.

"When do we leave?" for L.A.?" slower this time, almost shyly, "You still want me to go don't you?" This time it was him wrapping her up in the hug, this was the first time she had made any attempt at acknowledging L.A. or that she might go with him.

"Ofcourse, of course I want you to come" he squeezed her tightly one more time before loosing his grip enough so they could walk back into the hotel.

"So when do we leave?" she asked again as they entered their room and went to sit on the couch.

"A couple of days would be perfect really. I have some calls to make to get everything set up for sure at home, we can tie up any loosen ends here that you need to…" he trailed off, losing himself in the things he would have to accomplish over the next couple of days.

"I have nothing to tie up here, I mean I can't take my car so ill have to figure that out I guess but no friends will worry, my family is no concern, I got all my prescriptions filled so they can just be transferred when we get out there…"she couldn't really think of anything else she would have to worry about.

"Can I ask you why?" Darren appeared concerned now, again.

"Does it matter why? I want to go, I thought that was what you wanted" she almost pouted, rolling her eyes.

"It is what I want, but you seem so excited about it all of a sudden and was so afraid to say yes before. Then the way you acted at the store before, it just doesn't make sense. I mean, when I got back to the car, you looked like you'd just seen a ghost and then all of a sudden you're all smiles and lets go to L.A., I don't get it."

"Umm, let's just say that I thought I saw a ghost but then I realized that ghosts aren't real and so there was nothing to be afraid okay?" she sounded almost cryptic, a smile showed up on her small face and Darren couldn't help but think she looked very young just then. Very young but very confident and happy and he liked how that looked on her features, so he decided to drop it, to let her have the victory for what it was, whatever it was, and let it all go for now. He smiled in return and gave her the same confident nod she had given him. He leaned back into the cushions of the couch to relax for a minute, his eyes shut.

Liz stood and made her way to the kitchen. The emotional roller coaster she had put herself through today had left her feeling more comfortable than she had expected it to. It also left her tired, and hungry. She pulled lunch meat, cheeses, and condiments from the fridge and bread from the counter, putting it all on the table. She grabbed a couple of plates and a bag of chips to add to it before she peeked her head out at Darren and simply said "food" before returning to the kitchen.

It took him approximately two seconds to open his eyes, pull himself up from the couch, and make his way to the table where Liz joined him after pouring two tall glasses of milk. They ate lunch while he told her a little bit about Los Angeles and his life and friends there.

"I can't believe I'm going to live with Joey freakin' Richter" she laughed. Darren laughed too adding that she'd also be living with Dylan because he should be getting there soon if he wasn't there already. She just shook her head. She had watched and loved their musicals, considered herself a 'Starkid' at heart, and there she was preparing to move in with them_. How the hell does this even happen?! _

"Ummm, you've been living with Harry freakin' Potter for a little while now and yet you get star struck over Joey and Dylan?!" he asked, mock offense written all over his face, hand on his chest, gripping at his heart.

"Right? But it's not like that, I mean you are Harry freakin' Potter, you're Darren Criss for fuck sake, but you're, you're…just a guy too," she tried to explain, he let a fake pout pull his bottom lip down and his eyes took on that completely puppy dog look he was so good at.

Liz giggles, "That's not a bad thing you dork! I was star struck for a minute and I still am kinda when I think about it, but then I realize that you're still just a guy. You sleep in your boxers, you eat like a pig, you say some of the cheesiest things!" She laughed out loud at the huge grin that had replaced the pout on Darren's face.

"YES! You get it, I'm a freakin' dork, I'm just some random dude who got lucky, but really Joey and Dylan are too. Joey? Way bigger dork than I am and Dylan? He snores so loud you'll probably hear him from your room! They're just guys too, so don't put any of us on any kind of pedestal okay? We are not pedestal worthy people, I promise!" he looked half way serious now but you could still see the gleam of happiness in his eyes.

Liz nodded, smiled, as she finished her lunch. She decided going to L.A. was going to be good for her, and clearly it was going to be entertaining. They had the rest of today and then two more days to get everything in order.

She cleaned up all the food and dishes from lunch and put everything away. Darren continued talking about Los Angeles and work and friends while she did so. When he finally reached an end to what he was saying she suggested they go for a swim, he agreed.

They'd spend the rest of the day acting like tourists and take advantage of all the hotel had to offer. Swimming, basketball courts, tennis courts, and a small walk around the property.

Darren had been in town for a while and had only been recognized the one time at the hospital o he was pretty confident to be out and about. Besides, theyd spend the next couple of days preparing to leave and then be gone so it wasn't like a lot could happen to them now anyway.

Just down from the hotel was essentially a strip mall, nicer than your average one, but a strip mall none the less. They walked to it just to look around a bit and were able to purchase a couple of pieces of luggage there for the trip home. They walked it back to their room talking comfortable and relaxed.

They would start the phone calls and final preparations the next day and there was really nothing else to worry about. In alignment with talking full advantage of the hotels amenities, they ordered room service for dinner and rented a movie from pay per view to watch as they ate.

Once dinner was done and Darren was rested back into the couch cushions, Liz found herself resting on his chest to continue watching. It was dark in the room, except for the television flickering and Darren's body was so warm and comfortable under her and she had mentally and physically drained herself today. Before she knew it, her eyes slipped shut and she was breathing slower, and soon slipped into unconsciousness. Darren wasn't far behind.

"


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Ok well first things first…Happy Halloween! Next I have to apologize yet again for being ridiculously late in posting an update. Some good reasons for this include my mom being in the hospital having had a heart attack, my husband being put in the hospital for three days with blood sugar levels over a thousand, and my laptop being eaten up by a virus and having to be reset to factory settings. Sooo, not a good month or so for me. But at any rate, I have finally accomplished something with this story and offer it up with hopes of forgiveness! This feels a bit of a filler chapter, which in a way it is, I just need them to get to L.A.~ I hope you all enjoy and if you wanted to review, it wouldn't hurt my feelings **

Almost Outta Here

The next day brought about feelings of anxiousness in Liz, as soon as she woke. She stretched from her place on the couch, shaking her head as she realized that they had passed out watching a movie, again. The anxiousness settled in about the time she opened her eyes and sat up. She knew that today would be a day spent at the hotel. They'd be organizing their belongings, creating lists to scratch off each item that got them one step closer to leaving. Today and tomorrow were it, they'd be on their way to her new home. She was excited yes, more now than before, but the idea was still a little nerve racking too, she couldn't deny that.

Instead of waking Darren immediately to start all the departure preparations, she let him stay asleep. He was leaning off the side of the couch, mumbling nonsense in his sleep while she went to shower and get dressed.

With all that complete, her hair still wrapped up high in a towel, she made her way back to the living room. As she entered she smiled seeing Darren awake, his unruly curls, which seemed longer by the day, springing out at different angles all over his head. He smiled back with a little nod of recognition in her direction. He was on the phone so she went into the kitchen to make them some coffee.

Just as she filled the two mugs and started walking back into the other room, Darren approached. He took a mug with a whispered thank you as he hummed a response into the phone. Liz tried to walk around or past him but he wouldn't let her through. She look at him with confusion as he said into the phone..

"Hold on a sec, here she is, I am gonna go take a shower, k?" then was quiet as he was obviously listening to something being said on the other end of the line. He nodded foolishly, knowing whoever was on the other end wouldn't see the reaction. Then, with a big toothy grin, he handed the phone to Liz as he walked away as quickly as possible.

She stood holding the phone for a while, just looking at it, then slowly put it to her ear. "He-Hello?" she inquisited nervously, hoping he had simply played a joke on her and was waiting around the corner to tease her for the horrified look on her face. Instead she heard a friendly and confident, "Hey, Liz I presume?" through the device.

"Y-yeah, this is Liz" she responded still shakily.

"Dylan here, I heard we're going to be roommates in a couple days. I wanted to at least get to talk to ya before ya got here". She could practically hear the smile in his voice and couldn't help but smile too.

"Oh my god" she let escape her, almost inaudibly…almost, but he did hear.

"My reputation precedes me I guess" he laughed. "Was that a good 'oh my god' or a bad one?"

"Good, good, oh god, you weren't even supposed to hear it" she giggled nervously as she made it back out to sit on the couch. They continued to talk, almost like twenty questions, getting to know things about each other. Liz didn't go into any great deal of detail as to how she met Darren, she didn't know what Darren may have already told him and didn't feel like she could share any of the 'big stuff' just yet. But they talked about music and movies and TV and his hopes for L.A. and hers as well.

"I'd like to go back to school when I get there, just like a community college even for now would make me happy," she was loosening up and feeling more comfortable after having talked for a half an hour or so.

"That's very cool. Are you thinking of singing or acting or something along those lines?" he asked, a little more serious now, clearly truly interested in her answer.

"Oh god no, that's definitely not for me. Something with kids, I think, maybe teaching elementary or preschool kids, maybe even counseling, helping kids, that's what I want" and it struck her that this was the first time she had really talked out loud of a solid tangible future for herself, something she could and wanted to do with her life.

"Liz, hey you still there?" finally caught her attention.

"Oh, y-yeah, here, sorry," she giggled, a little giddy at the idea of going to L.A. and meeting Dylan and Joey, starting school, starting a real life like she never had expected to.

They talked for another half hour before Darren returned, his wet curls dripping lightly onto his shirt.

"You're still on the phone?" he laughed.

"Uh, yeah, sorry" Liz giggled giving a little shrug of her shoulder. After her and Dylan realized they had been talking for over an hour now, they decided to say their goodbyes.

"So, that clearly went well," Darren beamed. He loved when different groups of his friends began to blend together. He couldn't wait for them all to be able to meet. He knew she would get along well with his friends, especially Dylan. He was like an overgrown teddy bear really. When Dylan had called him this morning while Liz was in the shower and let him know that he had arrived in L.A., Darren told him that Liz had decided for sure to come and that in two days time, they'd be there too. He had wanted the two to be able to talk for at least a little bit, in hopes that Liz' nerves would be put even more at ease. He kind of hoped he might hear from Joey tonight too, so he could speak with her as well, but he knew Joey was also pretty busy since he began filming again this week.

"Okay, so organization time, let's get this ball rolling" Darren exhaled as he grabbed a notebook and a pen from the coffee table.

"Okay, so for me it's a bit of a short list I think. I don't have anyone to tell or to say goodbye to." He looked at her sadly at that, she shook her head and smiled in return. "It's okay" she said almost exasperatedly. "We have to figure out what to do with my car though, and I need a plane ticket, and I have to pack. I think that's kind of it really for me."

"Alright, I need to pack, the car will get left at the rental company at the airport, umm I need a plane ticket. I can go online and get those real quick," he said, in thought as he booted up his laptop. "I wanna call home and let them know I'm, I mean, we, are on our way home. I need to call Ryan, I'll call Lauren and everyone in Chicago later and let them know but I'm sure Dylan probably already has. I need to talk to the building manager and let him know that Evonna moved out and that both you and Dylan will be there now," he trailed off as he continued adding to the list of things he needed to do.

"That's not going to be a problem is it? Like with the manager or whatever?" Liz looked a little nervous again.

"Oh, no, no, it's not a problem. I own the place and I invited you there. They just like to know for security reasons, who should be around and that sort of thing" Darren shrugged it off, which made Liz feel more secure.

"Oh, okay" she nodded her understanding.

Before long their flight was booked and Liz had taken herself into the bedroom to pack up what she could into the luggage they had gotten the day before. While she did that, Darren crossed off the couple of things he had accomplished as he called home. He wanted them to know that Liz had agreed to come with him and that they'd be home soon. He knew his parents would want to have a big dinner to meet and get to know Liz and to see and talk to Dylan again as well. He smiled at the sound of his mother's voice and how happy she was when he told her the news. In turn, she spoke the news to her husband, Darren's father, and he laughed when he heard his father whisper, not so quietly, something along the lines of it being about time. He heard his mom clap her hands in excitement when he also informed them that Dylan was in town and would also be staying for a while. "Oh, I just can't wait to see him again. He's such a sweet boy!" After another ten minutes or so Darren was able to get off the phone and cross that off the list as well.

He moved through the list crossing off each call he made. After another hour and a half, his calls were done. Liz had done everything she could do as far as packing up her things. She left out clothes for the next day, pajamas, and something comfortable to wear on the flight. She had pulled out enough of her medicine to take over the next couple of nights and packaged the rest into her luggage.

When she was done with that and Darren was still on the phone, she went to the kitchen and began going through everything out there. They still had more than enough food to last the couple of days they had left, probably more than enough. She sorted through it and began throwing out the stuff that had been in there verging on too long (the last few grapes on the vines that were shriveling to raisins on their own accord, a quart of milk that was questionable enough to have been replaced but hadn't yet been pitched, etc) until there was more room in the fridge and none left in the trash. When it was full she pulled the lid, took the bag, walked it through the living room area to the main door and sat it out for the housekeeping staff to rid. When she came back through, Darren was dutifully scratching off another call from his list.

"Done" he exhaled a sigh of relief. "With phone calls anyway," he gave Liz a smile as she joined him now on the couch. Pointing to the list she told him he could remove her packing because she was as done with that as she could currently get. He smiled as he did, then turned to her.

"Okay, so I still have to pack up and we have to figure out your car."

She nodded, "I don't really know what to do with it."

"Well, we could try like a quick sale, if you want cash for it, or take it to a junk yard and they'd pay for the metal, or" he stopped talking when he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Ooooor, we can have it driven, or delivered to Los Angeles, if you want to keep it" he looked at her more softly now.

"You can do that? Wouldn't it be stupid expensive though?" the hopeful look in her eyes was not intentional, but she had just gotten it back and the thought of having to get rid of it already, really made her sad. It was her baby.

With a smile and excitement in his eyes he bobbed his head and grabbed his laptop. He quickly found a company that would transport the car for a decent rate. The toothy grin that covered his face once he set up the date made Liz' heart grow just a little bit more.

"Thank you," she chimed, giving him a tight squeeze."I know it's just a car and shouldn't be that big of a deal but, its mine and" he shushed her and nodded, his understanding etched into every gold fleck that shone in his puppy dog eyes. "I get it, I promise, and it's okay, not a big deal."

"You're awesome, no matter what everybody says about ya," she winked as she stood. He laughed lightly and nodded a 'gee thanks' gesture. "Can we eat now? We skipped breakfast and I'm starving" he pled with pitiful eyes and that prominent pout that she was getting so used to.

Exasperatedly she sighed and grabbed his hands, pulled him from the couch, and drug him to the kitchen behind her. They ate quietly, taking breaks to talk about this, that or the other thing. He asked about her conversation with Dylan and she smiled remembering the talk.

"Oooh, what's this? Is somebody crushing on Mr. Saunders?" Darren joked as Liz began to blush.

"No! Shutup!" she laughed in return and added, "he's a good guy, it was cool talking to him that's all."

"I told ya you'd like him, he's a teddy bear and so easy to talk to too" he nodded explain his friend.

"Yeah, you were right, but if you ever just toss a phone at me like that and just run away again, I WILL come after you Criss!" she threatened, trying to flaunt a truly bitchy glare at the unaffected man across from her who simply laughed.

"I had to take a shower! You would have come after me there? Naked and, and, and … slippery and?" he made an utterly shocked face as if she had just given him an indecent proposal.

"Oh my god, okay, stop it, just shut up!" her cheeks were a dark red color and she was trying to hide her face as she continued to laugh. "You are such a child, I swear!" her head shook back and forth.

Darren's laughter continued as he watched her go from shocked to embarrassed to trying to simply laugh off the things he had said to her.

"Okay, well that's just done now. No, I was NOT going to chase you down all naked and slippery in the damn shower, good god!" she exclaimed almost accusatorily, face still reddish. She stood and took her plate to the sink, returning to pick up Darren's empty plate as well and then cleared the rest of the food and dishes off.

"So, calls are all made, tickets are bought, I'm packed, as much as I can anyway, my car is taken care of, now what?" she looked to Darren questioningly.

"Well, I have to pack up what I can, other than that, I don't know, it all went faster than I thought it might" Darren shrugged his response.

"Okay, well how about I pack up all the extra stuff while you figure out your clothes and stuff? Does that work for you?"

"Yeah, ummm, we can do that," he nodded, standing from the table and walking out to head to the bedroom.

She had taken one of the empty suitcases and began filling it with all of the DVDs, CDs, headphones, etc. She gathered all of his music sheets and notebooks and folders and fit them in the suitcase as well. Looking around she didn't see anything else she felt comfortable moving around. He had his guitar set up and his laptop but she didn't feel like he would want her messing with those things, so she didn't. Instead, she zipped up the case and sat it next to the entertainment center. That being accomplished, she grabbed her Ipod from the coffee table and went out to the patio to enjoy the view for a moment and to relax before she found out what he would want to do next.

It didn't take Darren long to get everything he could together. He left out the necessities and packed everything else away. Once he made sure to double check all the drawers and the closet, and the bags of extra purchases he had gotten while he was there, and was satisfied that he had everything together, he zipped up the suitcases and set them by the door. When he was finished doing what he needed to do, he made his way to the patio to sit by Liz.

She looked over and smiled a little tiredly at him. The day hadn't been long, it wasn't late, she was just mentally draining herself thinking about the move. He returned her smile and asked what she was listening to. She showed him the face of her Ipod, revealing she was listening to Not Alone, which was the song she tended to listen to regularly to help her relax. He grinned and pulled one of her ear buds out so he could see where in the song she was. When he figured it out, he let it drop and began singing the song to her. She looked at him, singing it with him, quietly, just watching him sing, pulling the other ear bud out of her ear and listening to nothing but Darren's voice singing the song that had saved her on so many occasions in so many ways. He got very into the song as he sang, expression pouring out of his face, making Liz want to smile at his kindness, cry at the depth of feeling he was displaying, and laugh at the incredibly crazy life she was now living. When he finished the song, he sat back on his seat, still looking at Liz. She smiled and shook her head. It still seemed so surreal sometimes.

"You okay?" he questioned.

"Yeah, just relaxing a little, thanks for, for singing that for me, it was beautiful, I love that song so much."

He nodded, and smiled, "get used to it, I tend to sing a lot, and with Joey and Dylan in the house, it's bound to get even worse" he laughed.

She smiled in return, giggling a little and stretching out. She would not feel bad if they did absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. They didn't really need to, they accomplished everything they had to today already. She didn't want to go swimming or to go to any other part of the hotel and do anything. She just wanted to sit where she was and enjoy the view for a little while longer, maybe eat something after awhile and then cuddle up in the big cozy bed and sleep.

"Can we do nothing for the rest of the day?" Darren looked at her with a pout. Liz giggled, "you have read my mind!"

They sat back, relaxing, enjoying the clear sky, the view ahead of them, and the fact that they had done everything they needed to do. They talked a little here and there but mostly sat in the quiet and watched the world pass by around them. After a while they returned to the room, made something small to eat and took turns jumping in a quick shower putting pajamas on. It wasn't even eight o' clock yet but neither cared, they were both in the same boat, just ready for the day to be done. They had one more day to be here and then would be taking off.

Once they were both in their pajamas, they made popcorn and went and lay in bed, turning on the television to any cheesy comedy they could find, snuggled close and laughed at the show. It was such a waste of an evening really but neither of them cared. It was just what both of them needed to finish off the day. When the popcorn was gone, they found themselves snuggled up to each other laying on the wrong end of the bed, laying down watching more TV. It was like this, at some point still relatively early in the evening, they found themselves falling asleep, thinking and dreaming about being in L.A.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: first sorry yet again for the wait, my mind has been completely blank yet again on this story. I was starting to really just give up on it, but I woke up today and decided I had to write whether I wanted to or not. So I did, and here it is. This is unbeta'd because I wanted to just get it out, get it up, and get on with it. If you hate it and/or there are a million mistakes, they are all mine (if you do hate it (or love it), for whatever reason, let me know in a review so I can continue to better my writing skills, please). Second, now that they are finally officially heading off to L.A. there will be four chapters left (a week after they get to LA, a month, six months, and one year) and then this will be done with. I really hope I haven't driven away all the readers I had because I took so long between some chapters and that I haven't lost anyone because of the story itself. This is my first chaptered fic and it has definitely been a process. I feel like I definitely know where mistakes were made and can go into any future long fics with a better understanding of my own writing style and how I need to proceed. In the meantime, I just have to get this one finished and up so that I can move on, and hopefully it is still enjoyable, at least for somebody out there! **

Let's Do This

The two crashed for the remainder of the night. The next day they really had nothing to do either, so aside from showering, that's what they did. Nothing. They slept in, lounged, watched more TV, chatted, Darren played his guitar for a while. He spent some time on the phone speaking with Ryan, Lauren, and basically following up calls to the conversations from the previous day. They both found their way back to bed early that night, knowing they had to wake up early for their flight in the morning.

Liz slept a little more fitfully than she had in a little while. She was nervous about the fact that literally the next day, her life would basically completely start again. Aside from that, the simple and common fear of flying began to seep into her mind as well. She had never flown before and she wasn't entirely sure what to expect.

Darren, on the other hand, had slept like a rock. In his mind things were well. He was going home, to his family, his friends, his work. He had taken this break to search inside himself and in spending a night on the beach, finding Liz, he felt like he had done a lot toward that end. He felt better about himself. On top of it all, the icing on the cake was Liz, the fact that she was coming home with him. The fact that he had gotten her here, to a place where she felt comfortable enough with him and herself, to do this, made him feel better about it all. So this night, he lay sleeping comfortably, surrounded Liz with his comforting arms, snoring lightly in her ear until the alarm began to blare.

Liz immediately jumped up, on edge. She felt like if she just kept pushing herself forward, she wouldn't have time to get lost in her own mind. She shook Darren awake after plastering a fake smile on her face.

"Come on Darren, its moving day, we got a plane to catch!" she sing songed at him, as he mumbled and moaned, using grabby hands to try to pull her back against him.

"No, come on," she pulled the blankets away from him and he curled into himself for the comfort she just pulled away. When nothing else worked, she crawled completely out of bed, flipped the overhead light on, drowning the previously dark room in a bright light, he whimpered and buried his head under his pillow.

Liz grumbled as she gave up on the whimpering boy, she grabbed her sweat pants, t-shirt, and under things and made her way to the bathroom. She stripped and changed quickly, throwing her hair in a pony tail and clearing the rest of her things from the bathroom. She grabbed the remaining pills she had out to take this morning and swallowed them with a quick swig of water. Returning to the bedroom she topped off her suitcase with all her stuff.

Darren finally sat up and began moving around a little more. He got up off the bed and went to the corner to grab the clothes he had laid out for himself for the flight and scooped them up to go get dressed himself. He did so quickly, running a hand through his mess of curls, lamenting that he would lose them almost immediately upon returning home. When he walked back into the bedroom he noticed Liz going back into her bags again. He didn't say anything as he approached and she didn't hear him come in. he watched as she pulled a few more pills out of her bag and shoved them into her mouth, before reaching for a bottle of water that was next to the bed to swallow them down with. He didn't want to presume anything and decided she had probably just forgotten to leave pills out for today in the bathroom and so she was just now taking them.

"Hey, you almost ready?" he questioned, making her jump a bit and turn to face him. She nodded her head as she was still in the process of swallowing the water. When her mouth was empty again she gave him a smile and told him she was set.

"Good, the doorman will be up in a few minutes to take all the bags down, they'll deliver them to the airport for us so we don't have to worry about anything but getting there and getting on our plane" he explained as she nodded. They pulled all the luggage and extras out to the main door of the suite and did one more, quick sweep of the room before the left.

They made their way to the airport, Liz pulling at and playing with her hair the entire time. Darren kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye, knowing she was exhibiting her own personal signs of stress and fear, but unsure if he should shed light on the fact that he knew. He really was more concerned with why she was nervous. The closer they got to the airport the more she fiddled with her hair, the more shallow her breathing became, he couldn't handle it anymore.

"Liz" he questioned softly, pulling one of her hands away from her head and successfully gaining her attention. He smiled lightly, hoping she could see the sincere concern in his eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you still scared to come to L.A.? I want you there, don't think that I don't, and it will be so good for you, I wont let anything bad happen to you, I wouldn't take you there if I didn't think it was best for you, I promise, you will do good, you will love it, I will make sure you love it" he went on, finding himself just a little nervous at the idea of her changing her mind so late in the game.

"I've never been on a plane before" she almost whispered in return, glancing at him and then back down at her hands, trying to control her breathing as it picked up pace yet again. She looked out her window and realized they were pulling into the main drive of the airport and heading toward the drop off lanes. She felt really sick to her stomach and maybe even a little bit dizzy.

"Oh, okay, so that's all? You're afraid of the plane?" he looked almost relieved for a moment, then returned to her even more nervous features. She nodded at him slowly.

"Okay, well that I can handle! I thought you were maybe getting afraid of coming with me again, I want this to be good for you, I want you to love this, to be excited for this" he looked concerned but shot her a beaming smile too, which seemed to instantly relax her body and mind a little. She liked that he could put her so much more at ease with just a smile.

"Truthfully? I am a little scared of L.A., I mean obviously, but I really am starting to get excited too. I can't wait to meet Dylan and Joey, to see your house, to find a new life there. But …" she paused, looking like a scared little kid for a moment.

"But what Liz?" Darren challenged, slowly, quietly.

"But this stupid plane is going to give me a heart attack Darren! If we don't die because the plane blows up in a fiery crash, after being taken over by terrorists, I will die because of a heart attack the second they turn the engine on and we start to take off!" well that was a little more dramatic than intended, but Liz is pretty sure it got her point across. Darren on the other hand, not feeling quite as nervous about it, the guy practically lived on airplanes these days, couldn't help but laugh at her outburst. She gave him a truly pitiful sad look of fear and angst, and then when the laughter began that quickly turned into a look of anger. She hit him, she punched him right in the arm.

"You're laughing at me? Are you serious? You're a dick" but the words didn't hold as much anger as they should have, she couldn't help it because he was still kind of laughing, trying harder to hide it now, but not doing a very good job of it. She couldn't maintain anger when she was trying to not laugh herself now, besides she did at least get to punch him, so that helped her feel a bit better.

With the talking going on, neither had realized the car had reached the unloading area and the car stopped. The driver opened Liz' door and she slid out, Darren following suit. They paid him, thanked him, and made their way inside. Once they printed their tickets at the kiosk and checked in for the flight, went through security and all that fun airport 'stuff', they had a little bit of a wait near their gates before they could start loading. Darren was dressed all incognito or so he thought, as much as he ever did anyway, with his bushy hair and the stubble of a beard breaking out with lack of shaving. He had a beany style hat on his head and glasses, looking as if he were attempting some form of bohemian grunge look. Liz was afraid he would be noticed, he had no concern what so ever, so she went with it. They wandered a bit around, different shops inside the airport, getting some snacks and such for the plane. Darren was really more interested in keeping Liz distracted and it seemed to be working so far.

While wandering through a mini book store Liz saw a book that made her giggle, she asked Darren if she could use his phone real quick. He nodded, pulling it out of his pocket and handing it to her. She snapped a picture of the book, set it to text, and added… "thought you might need a little help, should I pick this up for you? -Liz". She handed the phone back to Darren as he looked at her with a bit of confusion on his face. She just shrugged her shoulders and continued walking. It didn't take long for Dylan to respond. "Did you feel the need to share as a nice gesture of helping me 'break into acting' or was it the whole 'for dummies' part of the title that somehow reminded you of me?" Darren read the text to Liz as he laughed.

"You so better have attached your name to that text and not let him just think it was me. She smiled and laughed,

"I told him it was from me" she nodded.

"Good! I haven't seen him in a little while, don't need him being all pouty at me for being mean to him just yet" he shook his head, grabbed Liz' hand, and pulled her out of the store. "We need to go back to the gates and get ready to board, it's about that time." Liz swallowed hard, but nodded her head and started let herself be led back to the waiting area for the gate. They got there just as boarding was announced and they were able to get into line immediately.

Without much time or energy they were walking down the tarmac into the plane and Liz realized it was bigger than she had imagined, she had more room and could move and the seats up in first class weren't dinky and tightly packed together like she had always envisioned riding in a plane would be. She felt better about it already. They found their seats, sat, and waited for the plane to finish filling. Liz was doing well to control herself, she thought that maybe the amount of anxiety meds she had allowed herself to take this morning had probably helped with that. She had gotten worked up but was relatively easily calmed down and no drastic thoughts had occurred to her because of it (outside of a terroristic attack on the plane but can you blame a girl?) She slid the screen up so she could look out the window while the plane was still on the ground, she didn't know if she would be able to once they were in the air. Darren kept an eye on her, but she seemed to be doing well, he relaxed a little more, waiting for doors to shut and the flight to begin.

After a half an hour or so of waiting, of small talk, checking messages and phone 'stuff' one last time before shutting it off and returning it to his pocket, the plane was loaded, doors shut, and the flight attendants began making their rounds and giving their speeches on the overhead audio system. Liz buckled into her seatbelt, closed her eyes, reached for Darren's hand, which he gave to her simply leaning over and whispering that it was okay. She nodded her head, but wasn't ready to open her eyes just yet.

The engines roared to life. Her eyes popped open in a flash. Holy hell! That was louder and bigger than she expected, it was like she could feel it in her chest, and her breathing quickened to match pace. Darren rubbed his thumb over the back over her palm, looked in her eyes, and slowed his breathing visibly, telling her to follow suit. He talked her through the slight panic and she was good again. She whispered a thank you and squeezed his hand. She felt a bit tired and fuzzy, probably from the amount of pills she took, but knew her mind and body probably wouldn't calm enough to let her just go to sleep, not with all this stimulation, all this new information being forced into her body and mind with this whole new experience. She settled for trying to just take it all in, slowly as she possibly could.

The plane taxied down the runway and before she knew it she felt it lifting into the air. It was all so surreal. She hadn't expected to be able to feel it so much, each movement left or right, up, it just didn't occur to her that she would. She hadn't expected the noise to be so loud either, from inside the plane, which was probably stupid considering it was a freakin' airplane, but it just never crossed her mind that she would hear it so loudly from inside. Until after a while of dwelling on these thoughts, the noise suddenly disappeared. An attendant had been on the overhead again, saying something, but Liz was too preoccupied by her own thoughts for it to really click. Then it was like silence had taken over. Liz was certain that person had said that the engines had failed and they were going to die. She looked to Darren, who sat there peacefully, relaxed even, looking over at her with a smile on his face. _What the hell? How is he so freaking calm right now? _

"Ummm, what did the announcement say?" she asked kind of quietly, like it was a secret between just the two of them.

"We're at altitude, so you can take off your seatbelt if you want, you can use the bathroom, use the computers, get up and move, they'll be bringing us drinks in a minute, just the standard flight junk really" he mumbled, not looking concerned in the least.

"Oh, so, why is it so quiet now?" Liz muttered, afraid Darren would laugh at her again if she showed any more fear and she just really didn't know if she wanted to deal with that right now.

"Just cause, cause were at altitude, so the engines aren't working full throttle trying to lift this beast of a plane any more, we are kind of floating in a sense now, so it isn't working so hard, I guess" he shrugged, explaining it as simply as he could. He didn't think she was really interested in a lesson in flight craft technology and air current distribution across the wing span, etc. etc. etc. he wasn't sure he was even capable of providing that lesson anyway.

"Okay" was her only response. She liked it better like that, with less volume, it was more relaxing. She even caught herself starting to drift off, leaning up against Darren's shoulder for a while. She heard him start to snore and shook her head, giggling. It appeared it didn't take much to knock that boy out and when he did go, it was loudly. Before long, Liz is asleep too, lulled by the soft breathing and light snoring of Darren next to her, and the silence of the plane easing her mind now that she knows it isn't because an engine failed!

"Hey, hey" she hears somewhere in her mind but keeps pushing it away, she's warm and comfortable and not stressed or scared. She doesn't want to wake up and open her eyes and realize that that peaceful feeling was just a part of a dream. She mumbles in her sleep and pushes away the hand that is shaking at her.

"Wake up, Liz, we're in L.A." the voice is a bit louder now, makes more sense, isn't floating detached in her mind. _L.A. did he just say we are in L.A.? I shut my eyes for like two seconds! _Her eyes flutter open and she looks at him confusedly, trying to process it with a foggy tired mind. Then it all comes back, they're sitting on a plane, and it's not moving anymore. She turns her head to look out the window and sure enough they are on land again, a whole new airport, a whole new city, a whole new life.

"Oh my god!" was all that managed to escape her lips. She definitely felt a bit of apprehension in there but more than anything, an excitement filled her suddenly. "I'm in fucking Los Angeles, where I now live…with Darren freakin' Criss" rushed out of her mouth as she turned to face him again. The smile on her face matched the ever growing one on his. She finally in that moment realized this is what she needed and what she wanted, to be able to start completely over, be someone new in a new place with new people. She couldn't wait to get off that plane and start living.

"Let's go" she breathed out as she unbuckled and stood, practically pulling Darren from his seat as well. "Let's do this!"


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Okay, so I have changed it up a bit. I have added all four sections into this one ending chapter. So there is a look at a week, a month, six months, and one year in L.A. This means, this is the end, the epilogue, the finish. I just couldn't see dragging it out any more, it was getting painful to write, I couldn't concentrate on it and feel like I have not been able to give it the attention or the quality I wanted so I figured this would wrap it up well and everyone still reading could get a concise finish and I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore and can move on to other stories, probably one shots for a while, that have been dancing around in my head for months. I apologize again for the length of time it took me to update this, I hate that it took me two months to get the creative juice flowing enough to get this written in two hours in one night! But anyway, I hope whoever is still here enjoys this ending and feels as though it feels complete, I think it does. This is unbeta'd because I just wanted to get it out and up and over with. Thank you to all who are still with me and read this. I thank you for the feedback, the reviews, the favorites and the follows. I hope I didn't disappoint to badly. **

One week in L.A.

After they landed, life seemed to take over quickly. There were people for Liz to meet, work for Darren to get to, and decisions for Liz to make about what she would do from this point forward. She spent much of that first week just trying to adjust and acclimate herself with this new environment. She spent time talking with Darren, with Joey, and with Dylan, settling into a routine with her new roommates. She settled into her new room, getting used to sleeping on her own again, without Darren and his body heat to cuddle up to at night. It was strange at first, for both of them, but she wanted to make herself be able to handle these little moments on her own. Plus, living together permanently, there were going to be moments when she wanted a break, even from Darren, and so she wanted her bedroom to be that safe haven she could turn to, to be alone.

Darren was gone much of that first week, working twelve to sixteen hours at a time on the Glee set or recording music. He felt bad leaving Liz alone for so long when she had just gotten here. He wanted to be able to be there to help her adjust, but thought maybe her being alone could help too because she would be required to do some things on her own. It wasn't like she was entirely alone either, Joey would be around, or Dylan, or both of them at any given time. She wasn't being pressured to find work or to go to school or to do anything, not by anyone except herself.

Liz wanted to feel like she had a reason to be there, like she wasn't there being a drain on Darren or anyone else. She talked to Dylan about this a lot in that first week. They had a lot of time together while Darren was working and they spent it talking about things that she hadn't trusted herself to talk about with anyone else. She felt very comfortable with him and found herself opening up to him more and more. She also found that if she took a double dose of her medication when she woke up, she had an easier day. She didn't pressure herself so harshly, she was able to open up more freely, and was able to see the world in not such a harsh and difficult light. This wasn't a big deal because when she moved out here, she had a full prescription from her original doctor and when she transferred and got a new therapist set up within the first couple of days of moving to L.A., he had given her another set of prescriptions, so she had both. She thought it was better this way, it's not like she was purposely abusing the medication she was on, it just made things easier, and wasn't that the point of it to begin with? Once she ran out of the original prescription she would just continue with the new one and not worry, by then she would be more settled and confident in herself and what she was doing.

One month in L.A.

The past few weeks had brought about a few more changes, a little more comfort to the situation, to the people she was with, and life in general. Liz had made a definite decision to begin school and was looking into programs at a few small community colleges to get her high school requirements out of the way and then begin the general education requirements needed to move forward. After much talk with Dylan and some with Darren and Joey as well, she had decided counseling was what she wanted to go into, helping kids who had it rough like she did. With Dylan's assistance and accompaniment she also began volunteering a few hours a week at a shelter in a rougher part of the city, and she this helped her make a few contacts who may eventually be able to help her once she got a degree under her belt.

Dylan spent a lot of time watching Liz over the course of the past few weeks after she had arrived as well. He noticed the days she was happier than usual, sadder than usual, when she seemed a bit strung out with life, or over excited for a while. He noticed when she would get a bit withdrawn for a while, go to her room for a short amount of time, and return minutes later, and how over the course of the next hour would become happier and more interactive with everyone in the house. He thought he knew what was going on and spoke to Darren about it. He had noticed too, but wasn't sure what to say about it and wasn't sure he wanted to admit that he thought he knew what the problem was. It brought itself to the forefront on its own when he heard Liz on the phone with the new therapist telling him she had lost her prescription and asking if he would write her a new one. She was clearly fighting a losing battle because she was getting more and more agitated by the minute. When she saw Darren standing in the entry way to the living room where she was, she quickly said she would call back later and hung up the phone.

"Everything okay?" he hesitated a bit, not sure where to take this conversation.

Liz nodded slowly, looking a little dear in the headlights and a little sad at the same time. It made Darren's heart hurt for her a bit.

"Are you sure? You seemed pretty, umm, upset there on the phone" he pointed lamely at the device in the girls hand.

"Yeah, just, I lost my script for my meds and I think they don't believe me and I only have enough for a day or two more so I was hoping they would refill it for me, they said they don't really do that so…" she trailed off.

"You still had a lot of your meds from before right? And then we filled the new scripts when you started the doc here?" he was trying to lead her, trying to get her to see that he got it. She nodded.

"So if we filled the ones you got here and you still had the ones from before…." He fell silent trying to give her time to say something about the situation. She didn't take advantage of it, she stood there, looking at the floor not saying anything for a while, finally she looked up, fear in her eyes and admitted that she had taken all of the pills. Darren didn't let his face change. He just nodded at her, thankful that she trusted him enough to tell him.

"Dyl and I thought maybe" he said quietly as he sat her on the couch next to him. "So, what are we going to do about it?" he asked, hoping she wanted to stop herself from the new addiction before it got even harder.

Dylan had been in the kitchen and slowly made his way to the living room, coughing lightly as he entered, letting them know he was there and hoping he didn't come across as an eavesdropper. They both looked up, Darren looking concerned, Liz looking sad, and embarrassed more than anything else.

"So, you heard? You knew?" she asked softly looking up at him. For some reason, seeing the concern and sadness in his eyes hurt almost worse than the look Darren had. She knew neither one of them wanted her to hurt or to be harmed by herself or anyone else, but seeing the look in Dylan's eyes, she saw it as disappointment, and she really hated the idea of having had disappointed him. They had gotten really close over the past month and she didn't want to lose that closeness.

"I,ummm, I actually got a few phone numbers if you want, some people, places, that might be able to help. I was concerned, I don't think less of you, I don't want you to feel bad or sad or anything else. Don't be mad at me, I just wanted to help." He pulled out his wallet and handed her a list of counselors, therapists, and even a couple of outpatient drug rehabilitation centers. She didn't know what to think of that. She kind of wanted to be really mad because they had made assumptions about her and talked to each other, but not to her, about those assumptions to begin with. She wanted to be sad that they had felt the need to get her help for drug addiction as if she was a crack whore or something. What she was, was grateful. She gave them both a small smile, took the paper from Dylan and gave a teary eyed thank you to both of them. They all sat in the living while she started making calls.

Six months in L.A.

Life changes again over the next months that Liz found herself in Los Angeles. She had put behind her old life a lot better than she thought she would have. It helped having Darren, Dylan, and Joey by her side. It also helped that she had started seeing her counselor a few days a week, evaluating her life, her past, her future. Now that six months had passed since the move, she was seeing the person once a week and was able to maintain her life and her priorities in a more positive way. She also had friends at school since she had begun to go to community college, and working quickly to finish off her GED requirements and would be starting her actual college freshman year when the next semester began. When the GED was completed, the boys took her out to dinner to celebrate. She was happy. Things were good.

Over those six months Darren and Liz drifted apart a little bit and it made them both a little sad. It wasn't that anything in particular had caused a riff between the two. They still very much loved the company and friendship of the other. Darren was still happy he had met the girl and happy that he had convinced her to come to L.A. with him. Each one of her accomplishments, no matter how big or small, still made him proud of Liz. Liz was still grateful for having met him on the beach that night, which felt so far behind her now, glad that she made the decision to follow him to L.A. and to give in and let him help her in all the ways she needed but hadn't known she had needed until he showed up there that night. It was simply a matter of timing. Liz was going to school daily, Darren was going to work on set or in the recording studio, not to mention appearances he had to make and all the things that went along with him being back in reality. They decided to make every other Saturday, a day for the two of them to spend together, to just be who they were back at the hotel. They would watch movies and eat junk and wander the streets or malls or go see a movie, do whatever they wanted, and they both loved those days.

With the slow separation of Darren and Liz, came the closer relationship of Liz and Dylan. It just happened. They became friends, they spent time together when Darren and Joey were both gone, they shared so many aspects of their daily lives that getting closer just seemed to happen seamlessly. After a few nightmares occurring for Liz and Dylan coming in to wake her up, he ended up staying in her room more often than not, holding her shaking form until she fell back asleep. He would drift off once he knew she was asleep but slept lightly, ready to be there again at the drop of a hat if she needed him. He went to counseling appointments with her from the very beginning so that she didn't feel alone. At first he felt a little guilty, thought he was maybe honing in on her relationship with Darren and didn't want either to think that. He talked to both of them separately about those feelings and fears and they both assured him that he was fine, that they were all happy with the relationship developing and that there was a close friendship between the two. Darren also let him know that he and Liz had talked once upon a time about the potential for falling in love someday, that they weren't in that moment but were leaving themselves open to that possibility. However, also let him know that those feelings had not progressed either, he saw Liz as a friend and didn't have romantic feelings for her, he loved her unconditionally but didn't feel in love with her. Liz assured Dylan of the same things and let him know that he was a good friend to both of them to want to discuss it but that everyone in the situation was comfortable with where they were in respect to their relationships with each other.

Somewhere in that six month time, Dylan basically moved into Liz's room, using her nightmares as an excuse, yet she had only had a few. It was a good enough excuse to assuage the majority of the ribbing he was taking from both Darren and Joey. When they would happen to give each other a goofy smile or giggle when their hands brushed, one of the other two picked up on it, filed it away, and gave them both hell about it when given the opportunity.

One Year in L.A.

Liz woke the morning of her one year Los Angeles anniversary excited. It was a Saturday and instead of just being a day for Darren and Liz, like usual, all the boys, Liz, and some of her friends from school were going out to celebrate in style. Darren was doing a set at a small club and they were all going to watch. Liz couldn't wait. She spent the whole day relaxing, watching tv, talking to 'her boys' and just really going through the past year of her life and being in total awe of the way things had turned out, compared to what they were supposed to be one year ago.

Darren took a moment to get her alone and talk about the night they met. They both teared up considering how they had saved each other. They clung to each other for comfort and in thanks for the help the other had provided. It was so weird to think it had only been a year, some days it felt like it had been years, some days they feel like it had only been a few days ago. After a long hug, a few tears, and lots of encouraging words from both of them, they separated with smiles. Darren telling Liz they needed to go get ready to leave.

They get to the club and have a drink in celebration, waiting for the rest of her friends to show up. Darren takes the stage rather quickly offering a round on the house, and raising his glass and saying a short toast to Liz and to the friendship he had found in her. She smiled with a little tear in her eye as she raised her glass and mouthed an 'I love you' back to him on the stage. After a few songs, the rest of Liz's friends had showed up, and they were talking and singing along and having a good time. Darren finished his set, bought another round for everyone, and introduced a friend who would be joining him on stage. Everyone looked to Liz to find out who it would be but she could do nothing but shrug, she had no idea. She pointed at the stage as Darren drew out the waiting with a dramatic drum roll.

Dylan finally made it onto the stage with a shy smile on his face and a high five for Darren. He really needed no introduction, pretty much anyone who knew Darren, knew of Dylan, and Joey, and all the other Starkids as well. The room fell quiet as Dylan came forward and grabbed a microphone.

"Hey everyone, I'm Dylan, I just wanted to come and steal Darren's thunder for a few" he laughed lightly as Darren rolled his eyes and hit him on the arm. "No, really, I just wanted a chance to come up here and thank Liz for being in my life too. Darren already explained how we all came to know each other and the connection those two have, and how much we all love her and are glad she is here with us, I just want to add my two cents worth to that." He smiled over at Liz while she stared, smiling, at Dylan on stage. The room was silent, waiting for whatever was going to come next. "You guys may know this song, I am not going to claim it to be mine, it is by a band called Safetysuit, but I did take some poetic license and changed some stuff…like the name, since the song is called Annie, I kind of changed it to Lizzie…. Go with it, it works!" he laughed, almost a little nervously and Liz thought it was adorable. She listened intently as the music started, she had never heard of the band or the song, she was excited to hear the lyrics. He looked to Darren, who gave him a reassuring smile, then back to the mic and began to sing.

"_There was a girl named Lizzie, she had a very pretty face  
And not the way you think so let me see if I can try to explain it  
She had a smile that could light up the room and if she moved it'd be moving in you  
But she wasn't like a magazine, she was just plain Jane and her name was Lizzie"_

He looked to the crowd, spotted Liz immediately and smiled so sincerely at her, giving her a small wink as he proceeded.  
_"She never looked in the mirror, she never liked what she would see  
And even if I tried to tell her, she never listened to a word I'd say  
She always wanted what she never had, but never had what she needed so badly  
Someone telling her she was fine and that's not right and it's why I'm saying  
Lizzie don't be shy here, Lizzie don't just lie there, looks don't make the world go round but it comes around_  
_Lizzie don't be shy here, Lizzie please don't cry here, I always have to stop myself  
Cause you're beautiful"_

Liz caught herself shaking a little, tears stinging her eyes, this song was more fitting than she could have imagined. She was going to have to get a copy, or hopefully, she could get Dylan to record it for her, because his voice through it, even with the little breaks in it, maybe even because of the little breaks, made it perfect.  
_"I didn't know if I could tell her, I didn't know if I could make her see  
She didn't need to find her beauty, she didn't need to find a way to show me  
They took her moments of feeling alive and made them moments of dying inside  
She needed someone to scream her name, to take her pain and it's why I'm screaming  
Lizzie don't be shy here, Lizzie don't just lie there, looks don't make the world go round but it comes around  
Lizzie don't be shy here, Lizzie please don't cry here, I always have to stop myself  
Cause you're beautiful_

_And Lizzie you are the one sight my eyes never tire of, it's like I cannot get enough of you  
Lizzie you are the one song left in my symphony, like you were made for me_

He looked at her, stared at her it seemed singing these last couple of lines, and the tears flowed harder for both, and the smiles wider. He had a hard time continuing through the emotions of the song and she had a hard time caring because he was singing to heart in a way she never expected anyone ever could or would care to.

_Lizzie don't be shy here, Lizzie don't just lie there, looks don't make the world go round but it comes around_

_Lizzie don't be shy here, Lizzie please don't cry here, I always have to stop myself  
Cause you're beautiful_

He finished the song, letting the music halt. He smiled quickly around the room as if just realizing or remembering he was on a stage and not in a room alone with Liz. He excused himself quickly and just jumped off the end of the short stage to make his way to Liz. She caught him half way to where she was originally and they caught each other in a bone crushing hug. They held each other like they couldn't function if one didn't hold the other up. They cried and smiled and laughed into each other's shoulders for what felt like forever.

Meanwhile, on the stage Darren had a hard time continuing. He was smiling so hard he thought his face might hurt the next day. He was so happy for his friends. He knew Dylan was planning this but didn't know it would affect everyone in the room. It was like a silence had taken over as everyone watched the display between the two. Finally, Darren gave a little cough, reminding people that there was still someone on stage and drew their attention away from the newly minted couple, or so Darren would assume, and back to himself. He sang a couple of more songs but couldn't keep his eyes off of Dylan and Liz cuddling in a booth on the floor, and he smiled at them the whole time.

After they left the club, Liz and the boys went to a small diner and ate nothing healthy at all, and loved it. All four of them smiled and talked and laughed. Liz and Dylan seemed even more inseparable than ever, but Darren and Joey let them have their moment, didn't tease them or give them too much shit, at least for now.

What a year it had been for her, for Darren. Liz got a new place, a new life, new best friends, and a new love. She looked around, smiled at her friends, at her life, squeezed Dylan's hand, and leaned over to whisper a thank you in Darren's ear.

"I got some life story, huh?" she smiled.

The End


End file.
